Another me.

I think i began to be anxious trough whole day in high school (everyone is anxious sometimes). I play musical instrument, a wind instrument and i have a professor that insist from me to breath from diaphragm, lower part of stomach, and that can be explained only through words and feelings. None of his students went to academy! For me he was a new professor, because my old professor told me and explained me that about breathing really good (before i went to a new professor i was really good). When a new professor came he told us without even looking at (if we MAYBE do it correctly) that old professor is not good and that we learned something that is not good.
My big introspection came and i began to think about feelings. To think about what i am doing wrong because EVERYTHING i do he sad it is not good... years of that mental torture. I was going to 2 high school at a time and i had realy good grades. Now i dont know how to breath correctly. In theory i know it really good but that feelings, is it tension or is it diaphragm or stomach muscles i am so confused like before 6 years. Another professors all told me that i am breathing good but i am still not satisfied because i dont understand it.
When i sing the same thing. And if i want to be good i have to sing high notes but it is necessary to be relaxed. I dont have trust in my singing professor because of that instrument professor.
I dont know how to relax and just have trust in myself.
I was anxious all the time!
After 3 moths brake and dont thinking about it at all and after i had i virus "that" happened. Panic attack, number of anxiety symptoms, headache, unpleasant feeling in head, eye strain... and what scares me a little different world around me. Like i was sleeping 6 years and now i woke up, different state of mind. Like i am different- strange. And not for a moment. I am "awake" for 2 months now. Maybe i was under stress that 6 years and now when i am not it happened. I dont know how to explain it.
The bad thing is i dont anymore now how to enjoy in things i do and how to enjoy life.
I am seeing a therapist and psychiatrist now. I feel better but different. Maybe i was under stress so long and now i am not and i need to get use to it or maybe i am just anxious. My therapist is on vacation so i need to talk with somebody.

Just what i needed to hear. You always tell the right things... I have seen on tv that people sometimes talk about those changes in life, and about the next step. Thank you! Ill post in a couple of days!