Anybody relate to this?

Ok my anxiety/panic attacks started last year in July when I was cleaning my car in 95 degrees at 11 morning with no shade. I weighed 305lbs that time I'm 5'10" obese...I was cleaning my car with a wet/dry vacuum with no filter as I was inhaling dust and vacuuming at the same time. It was hot, sweating very bad, no water too...all of a sudden I had like heat stress or something...my heart pounded and I didn't feel right...I walked into my house and felt like I was going to pass out...I turned on the fan and cooled myself off for like 20-30 mins than I was fine and went to bed. first time feeling of danger in my life...I never went to the hospital that day...that day was actually my birthday too...so later that day I had a bday party and ate alot of barbecue...next day I had a panic attack which I thought I was dying...than I finally went to the E.R...they did a EKG...ct scan with dye injection and chest xray. All was found was a large lymph node by my heart...I was given amoxicillian for treatment...felt better after that in a week...than the continuation of panics and anxietys further over almost a year now...

Ok skip all that...now I'm experiencing new probs which I think it's not anxiety and it's tripping me out...I'm scared everyday like something's gonna happen...I have chest discomfort everyday...like all day..only once in a great while it goes away..I also feel needle like poking my heart and in the back area too where the heart aligns with...I also feel lost of words like can't talk sometimes...like I feel my brain is not working..I also feel pain in between chest and stomach area..there was sometimes when I eat I would get sick like feverish chills in my forehead also body feeling warm...no hot flashes..or heat waves...I was having diarea for a couple days like 2-3 weeks...my neck stiffs up so bad like stroke symptoms....one time I went to the E.R thinking I was going to have one...I couldn't even talk at all...but yeah mostly what's bothering me is the nerves in my chest/body area...my nerves in my body would hurt sooo bad that it gives me headaches on the temple sides..it feels like your body wants to shut down and cause some organ failure...I do get shortness of breath too but these feelings are worst than a panic attack...I don't know what it is...anybody relate to this..whatever this is hurts too much and sometimes you just want to give up...I've gotten alot of work done...ct scan with dye injection done twice...a stress test running on a treadmill...xray on the chest 2-3 times..all found nothing...but that lymph node by my heart way back..I've done those test when my problems weren't as bad as now. So lately when having these problems all they done was EKG and bloodwork only. All came back neg except for they say my liver was high...he said it could be gallstones. But I have no pain on the right side...Ive been to the E.R 10x's within this year...I have no insurance and these bills are piling up...aight this post us long. I might of miss mire of my symptoms..anybody...

oh yeah they gave me Ativan. Paxil. Omeprazole, viccodin. The Ativan is not workin no more I feel. I've tried Xanax before they gave me Ativan. But I wasn't prescribed xanax either that time. That also stopped workin for me. The first thing they prescribed me was buspar. That didnt work. It just made me flip out. Thinking crazy and all. But I'm good with those now...idk what to do...

Post Edited (bigboi) : 9/17/2011 12:27:41 AM (GMT-6)

Hello Big and welcome to HW.
All that you describe can certainly be caused by anxiety. It would take a short book to explain all the how's and whys of what you are dealing with, but I will give you the key basics.

When a person gets to the point of their first anxiety or panic attack, it consumes their thoughts and puts them in a cycle of negative thinking. Actually, it's usually negative thinking that gets us there in the first place, but now that we have reached a point where it becomes physical symptoms...it's like a whole new dimension of thinking.

Those types of thoughts and thinking tense the body and tells your brain you are in danger and your brain releases adrenaline like it would if you were in a crisis...vicious cycle! Almost a 100% of anxiety is fear driven...fear..worry..same thing. In return we try to get some kind of grip on this and we look for answers and try to control it and all this does is feed it!!!

Knowledge of what is going on with us and understanding that even when we panic it will pass, also knowing as bad as it feels we are not in danger that the body can endure this is key
Let go of the grip and the idea that you can control this and stop looking for the magic solution...all of which feed the anxiety...anxiety commands attention to exist.

Welcome the anxiety and embrace it...I don't mean love how it feels, I mean face the fear and know that you are safe even while in panic. When you stop pushing it away and trying to control it and release the grip you are trying to have on yourself...you will stop tensing your body and trigging that you are in danger. This in return will stop so much of negative thinking and greatly reduce the amount of adrenaline you are experiencing...but most importantly it takes some attention away from the anxiety and it will begin to diminish without so much attention.

Attention to anxiety in any form will feed it. So welcome the anxiety and don't fear a panic attack. Stop avoiding things... that feeds it as well. Do whatever it is you're going to do and if it causes panic, just allow it and know that it will pass, it always does and always will, but by you releasing the control you are trying to have on it...causes it to begin to release control it has on you because you stop paying it respect and attention and at the point, many of your symptoms will begin to go away and you begin to break the cycle. This method is the cure and secret that everyone is looking for. Face the fear and stop avoiding it and recovery begins....Good luck and best wishes.....WM

@wingman...

Yeah I guess I'll have to try that out...there are times I don't really feel anxious and it just kicks in out of nowhere...but this pain is here all day...I'm always on my iPhone like all day looking up my symptoms...looking at Facebook too...maybe I should just ease off looking at this phone soo much...Ill have to read your post over and over since I have a hard time focusing and learning things...but I also feel I'm on the edge of losing my job. I didn't go in this whole week...I'm applying for short term disability once I find out the problem with my pain that's going on and hopefully I can get back to work and live a normal life...tired of this...I feel that there's something causing my anxiety and looking for the source of it...I never had this period in my life. Neither my parents had this but my sister has the same things and now she has a pacemaker and stint. We experienced similar symptoms and she is only 34 and a registered nurse too. My sister has a history of diabetes and high blood pressure and my mom is on dialysis. But I have not been diagnos for any but my bp can be in the 140s/80 etc...just got check that I don't have diabetes...relief there but something still going on...Im now 255lbs and when I was 300lbs I felt in better shape than now...

Oh yeah my sister just had h.pylori and her gallstones removed...i also been checked for h.pylori and came out neg...mayb could be gallstones triggering this anxiety..idk..

Post Edited (bigboi) : 9/17/2011 8:15:00 AM (GMT-6)

I do feel like that alot of times. Lost of words..brain fog..the diarrea is not that bad as before but now I'm experiencing more fatigue than before. Tired and dizzy alot when I walk or even when rest sometimes. There where times I almost passed out. Scary feeling.. When laying down resting my heart rate is at low 50s..lowest it was 47...but when sitting down it's at 59-60..Plus the chest discomfort is always there...I don't get really bad abdominal pain..I would say mild pain there..mostly chest areas are worst...I know there's no docs here or cannot diagnos. But jus lookin for common stuff...but seems like most health probs do have alot of same symptoms...But I'll look out for celiac disease..thanks.

Post Edited (bigboi) : 9/17/2011 12:52:31 PM (GMT-6)

hey there Karen...

Yeah walking is pretty tough right now as I'm getting the dizzy spells everytime I walk...I've been getting them ever since they would come and go every month but its gotten worst...thats probably usual anxiety right there...I was prescribed busbar the first few months of having the anxiety/panics...after a month of using made me go nuts and wanted to do harm...I stopped em and I'm good again...I didn't take anything for months to come until recently I started taking Xanax from someone I knew, which I wasn't prescribed them...they worked for a bit like 2 weeks and that was it...after that I was prescribed ativan and now I've been taking them...I feel like ever since I started to take the Xanax and Ativan, feels like I've got worst once I ran out of Ativan...but than again I was prescribed Ativan and took it...but it doesn't work like it used too...weird...like my symptoms have changed...

I did lose alot of weight while I started to work...when I was 300lbs I was a couch potato for 2 1/2 years...I than started to work and shed off the pounds right after I had my first attack symptoms...I was doing pretty good until I started to drink like every week and started to smoke ciggerettes again...but now those habits are effecting me really bad...when I would drink just a beer I feel sick, like I can feel the anxiety coming on...Also with the ciggerettes there was time that it worked for me like a month...I have quit ciggerettes for like a year in a half but due to stressing out I started again...but when I would smoke it felt sick too...so all my pains got worst just starting last Friday right after I smoked a ciggerette...I havn't touched a beer or a ciggerette since last Friday...but even though I didn't even drink or smoke before the pain would still be there...but again I've shoulda nevered touch the beer or ciggerette in the first place...all because I met new friends where I worked at and I wanted to have fun...I was mostly a hermit before I started to work...but I thought the beer and ciggerettes would help from the anxietys also...seems like it did for a short term...

but yeah..I guess maybe losing more weight might help since I'm still 100 lbs overweight...thanks..

Post Edited (bigboi) : 9/17/2011 3:50:49 PM (GMT-6)

Hi BB and welcome to the A/P forum. I am sorry to hear about your anxiety problems, but am glad that you have seen a doctor, and that you are making some healthy lifestyle changes.

GB is right in that exercise is a great way to reduce anxiety. If diziness is really bothering you, try another form of activity such as stationary bike, rowing or eliptical machine, or swimming. These are all so low impact and you can start at a low level and work your way up slowly. The downside is availablility...you would need access to a club, but it may be worth the investment.

In your last post you described what could have been a panic attack occuring after watching a show and laughing. Sometimes they just come out of nowhere! Sometimes high emotions, even seemingly postive ones can trigger one.

It is great that you went back and re-read WM's post and that it gave you some reassurance. You can also try an affirmative mantra. This is something that you repeat to yourself in times of fear and worry. You may try something like this:

"I am okay...it is only fear making me feel this way"

Or come up with your own comforting phrase, something that will remind you that you have felt this before, and made it through to the other side:)

I am sorry to hear that you don't have medical coverage, therefore help with therapy, but there are a couple of alternatives. One is self-help books. I had a great experience with learning from these...and I didn't even buy them...the library should have all that you need. I checked out a bunch, read and applied a little from each to 'customize' a recovery plan for me:)

There is also on-line therapy. In our Anxiety Resource Guide (main pag 3rd post) we have links to two sites. Moodgym and ecouch. They are both recommended for treatment of anxiety and depression. You will also find links to sites that teach relaxation and breathing exercises there...both are highly effective in A/P treatment!

I hope that all of the ideas posted here by the members gives you a good place to start with your journey to health and recovery. We are all cheering you on, and are glad that you have joined us. Keep posting:)

Good luck and good health,
Scaredy Cat

Hi Bigboi,

Just wondering how you are doing. I hope that you get to feeling better soon. I am worried about your dizziness. Talk to the doc about it.

Take care.

Hugs, Karen

I woke up feeling that tiny discomfort not even thinking about it...it was just there as I woke up...i was planning to take a shower and get ready for church...I did take a shower but I had that scared feeling of having a heart attack since that tiny discomfort feeling was in my chest area and I had a mini panic while taking one so I didnt get to take a good shower as I wanted too. But I did get a good sleep though...i didn't go to church so now I'm just laying down as I type this. sigh...another day of it...

Hey bethanly889...

I too havnt gone to church for a few months siince my work schedule...but I have gotten my hours cut a few months ago and had Sunday's off but still didn't go...now I'm at the point calling for him yah know...just like my friend told me recently I guess we always call him when we need him only and we leave him last and he told me I really got to be committed instead of just asking at times...I want to get closer to him...I've always talked bout change in my life even though I knew the bads I was doing was wrong...It's like I felt soo far away but still was just there...there was times I felt he really answerd me and it really touched me...but again some how I would lose really quick and wonder off...but yeah I guess our body's are weak and fragile...

Just time will tell...the main thing is that I'm just scared of dying...I know we all have to go someday but I just don't want to go alone...Im going to have to learn and accept it as it comes...well I guess I don't really have nothing to lose...I don't have a family of my own, im 28, single, never married, no kids...all I own is a car that broke down recently...but I'll check out them songs you posted up..

Yeah yesterday when I was feeling symptoms again I panic on what to do. Either eat to feel better, or take some pills...which is I don't even know what to do anymore cause I'm scared anything could cause me to die...so I drank water and it felt a little better. I think I was dehydrated thinking I was hungry rather than thirsty. I read on a men's health magazine that we mistaken hunger for thirst or the other way around sometimes...

Oh yeah and I have notice that about crying a few months ago. I actually was feeling physical anxiety and somehow I thought of something emotional and I just cried and that physical pain went away. I was like wow that was weird...I guess I do need to cry more often. I have to find someone to make fun of me or beat me up or something so i will cry...

Hi BB, I hope that you are feeling better tonight:)

I had to edit your post regarding the mention of substance abuse. We try not to name the specific substances, as it could possibly be a trigger to someone else's weak areas.

I do however commend you on getting clean!!! That is a major accomplishment, and you should be very proud.

I am so sorry to hear of your traumatic experience in finding your grand father. That could certainly play in to your anxiety today. Traumatic things from our past can often manifest years later, combining with present circumstances to trigger anxiety.

I wouldn't be surprised if that was a factor in all of this, and it is probably good that you are talking about it now.

I hope that you are able to look into our Resource Guide, and start to use some of the valuable tools available to you there:)

Keep posting and hang in there,
S.C.

@SC...

My apologies on that...Thanks..

I feel some relief we in the same boat...speaking of bp cuff mine busted the other day...I was in panic mode and wonder how it broke cause I just used it like 10-15 mins ago that day...when I checked my Bp and heart rate, it gave me a different reading and I even panicked more...heart rate was at 30 or blood pressure was i forgot...one of them was and I was like no thats not right...than i checked it had a hole...i was desparate to find one if my mom had one...she said my step dad got one cause he accidently took the doctors manually bp cuff and his skeptiscope when they where at a hospital or clinic lol...i tried that too but i dont know how to work that thing...so i got a hold of the manufacture of the one I had and they told me to wrap it up in a box and the delivery people would come like 7-10 days to pick it up and the new replacement can take about a month to get here...i was like what i cant wait that long but no matter what it's broke so I can't use it anyways...so the delivery guy shows up next day out of nowhere and I havnt even package it...I'm supposed to package it lol...so I told em to wait and he kindly did so I just used blank copy paper and wrapped it up lol...he was cool about it...I was thinking he probably will throw my blood pressure off the side so it won't get delivered since I made him wait lol...but a new one came the next day so I was relieved...thanks that I got 5 year warranty on that Bp machine monitor...it's an arm one...but yeah...

I just talked to a child hood friend who also experience this and he gave me this method to check out...I probably can't post it up but yeah I'm going to have to check it out...if that doesn't work than there is probably something else triggering the pain...well my concern is my lab results of my liver came up high so I gotta start looking for places to see if I can get a ultra sound done...

Weird...I've been feeling like my stomach is empty and it just gets discomfort there too...No pain though...just like a empty feeling even though I had something to eat already..than I'll drink some water and it helped a little since I think it was dehydration again...I never felt this since experiencing yesterday...and right now my ear was just ringing...what was that...a new experience for me there too...the ear ringing lasted for about 30 secs I would say...