An Anxiety Poem

Here is a poem that I wrote about my anxiety.. I thought I could share. Let me know what you all think.

Perfect


Everything’s perfect.
The sun is shining and the birds are singing and the people are smiling.
Everyone assures me that I will be taken care of.
There is nothing to worry about.
All is well.

I have a comfortable home.
It’s warm and soft and safe.
It protects me.
No one can hurt me.
No one can even get to me.

I have my belongings and new friends.
Everything is arranged neatly on the shelves.
I have food and water,
A bed and bath.
And people to help me find my way.

I wake up and grasp my stomach.
The feeling is here again.
I run to the toilet,
But it’s blocked off.
What can I do but wait?

I crouch in the corner,
Swaying side to side.
My head held over the drain just in case.
The feeling of panic creeps up more and more
As time slowly passes by.

Thoughts race through my head.
I just can’t understand
How I can be hurting so much inside
When everything is so perfect.
My mouth waters as the feeling grows stronger.

I try the bathroom again.
There is safety in the isolation there,
But it is still closed off to me.
A loud noise comes from my mouth
As I lean closer to the drain.

I know nothing will come out.
Nothing is in my stomach.
My body is not sick, just my mind.
I tell myself it’s alright.
I can calm down.

But what is there to do but wait?
The feeling will subside soon enough.
It will melt back down into its evil home,
Waiting for its next chance to rise and haunt me.
It never really leaves.

Everything here is perfect.
I should be smiling like everyone else.
I want to smile. To laugh.
To be myself.
But I don’t even know who that self is.

The horrible feeling has always controlled me
And only let small parts of me escape.
I hope that one day I can be free.
That when I know I am safe,
I can really feel it.

I hope that one day I will no longer have to hide in corners
Making sure nobody sees me trying not to be sick.
One day I will just live my life.
I won’t have to fight my brain.
I hope this is possible someday and not just another lie.

Hey tout, great poem!! Thanks for posting it. I always like reading the creative things that come across the board. We don't get too many, so when the muse strikes, share with us!:)

You hit the nail on the head, and I relate to what you say when you express dismay at being anxious when all is well in our world. I too have an 'easy' life compared to many...but anxiety knows no socio-economic bounds, or any other distintions...it just is.

Together, we will keep working on the issues;)

Thanks again,
S.C.

Thank you everyone for your feedback :) I really appreciate it. I enjoy doing creative things like this. It is a way to talk about my anxiety and express my feelings in a different way than I normally would. I hope you all are doing well!

toutserabon