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Posted 10/6/2011 10:17 AM (GMT 0)
my mom and my sister got into one of the biggest fights ive ever wittnessed. i really do belive that this is the end of their relationship. my mother doesnt understand the meaning the word recession and that its hard to get jobs. in this economy no matter how many degrees you are sitting on, if you dont have any work experience they wont hire you, even some entry level jobs they use that excuse. i know because ive experienced it. i also dont understand the logic of someone wanting you to get a job with good benefits all of the above so they can give you money out of their check to pay your bills but you dont want to drive them to the interveiw or at lease give them money for transportation. then when they get their permit and working on getting a licsense so they can fill that requirement for a job that is salary base including benefits and she asks you to just teach her how to pararell park you dont want to teach her. my mother is crazy. the jobs ive had, every check ive had shes had a piece of it. my first check was 190 dollars she took 100 dollars out of that check and left me 90 which sat in her bank account. the second job i had i would pay her 50 out of all my checks one check ive received was 60 dollars. the two jobs i had my sister had, we worked together. my mother complains about everything. all i hear is "you dont do this or that" but when i have i give. im 20 years old and time is rolling by me. im not having fun like i want to and my acts like i want to live in her house and have no job or money. nobody wants to live with her. right now im signing up for scholorships to go back to school. my sister left  because of the things my mother said to her. me hearing what my mother said to her, i felt like my insides closing up if that makes sense. i belive that my mother officially burned her bridges. there are certain things you just dont call your daughter. how disrespectful can you be. and im really ready to leave. i just cant deal with the verbal and physical abuse anymore.
Posted 10/6/2011 2:35 PM (GMT 0)
...and you shouldn't have to deal with abuse, no one should. I am sorry that this is happening to your family. Ideally one's mother should be supportive and at this point in your life, helping you to become the independent young women that you should be.

Instead, it sounds as if the toxic relationship is hindering all of you and weighing you down in dysfunction:(

You are doing a great job though! You not only see the situation for what it is, but you are looking for solutions...that is awesome, and I have faith that you will be able to get out of your circumstances, and move ahead, and be productive and happy.

Keep up the work on getting through school, getting a good job, and getting out on your own. Once you get some space between you and your mom, YOU will be able to set the boundaries on the relationship...how much you assist her, how much contact, how she can talk to you, ect...

I know that it seems like a long way to go when you want to feel better now, but keeping towards your goal is important...eye on the prize!

I hope that things calm down for you and your sister, and remember keep working towards your independence...you can do it:)

Hugs,
S.C.
Posted 10/6/2011 3:51 PM (GMT 0)
thank you very much S.C. i really appreciate it
Posted 10/6/2011 10:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Red,
I would hope for you that your mom gets some kind of help...therapy maybe or whatever it would take to bring her to her senses. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and I think you will figure out how to make it work.

Sounds like there has been a lot of damage done on your mom's part, but it would be nice if she got help so the family could possibly be a family again. Best of luck to you and your sister, hang in there....WM
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