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Posted Today 5:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hey guys I've been reading other posts about anxiety/depression and boy do I relate. It started for me about 5 years ago. I obsess about health issues and go down a hole of despair. Even after getting a clean bill of health. UGH! I'm on Celexa and Trazadone. At times I stop taking it which is a really bad idea. Right now I'm having massive obsessive thoughts and my anxiety is at a 10. After reading a previous post I decided to go back to therapy and try to really deal with my very personal obsessions that keep me alone and eventually in a very dark place. Lately I've just wanted to go to the ER and check myself in. I don't know how I'm managing to do everyday life in this state. Like others have stated I'm just floating outside my body. Another aspect of my disorder is self-loathing. An though my wife and friends consistently remind me what a terrific person I am i still believe my own head. I appreciate you reminding me that this to shall pass. It give me a brief moment of piece, but then it's back down the hole. In addition I have to fly across the county next week to help my elderly mother...man I can barely get out of bed. How the hell am I going to make it there. Part of me wants to cancel the trip but my mom really needs me as I'm the only one left in my family and she lives alone. I really wish I didn't have all this on my plate. I pray that the therapist I meet today can help, but I also know that it's a process. One final thing. I am sober 17+ years but feel like I may need to go on some anti-anxiety meds to get me through this rough patch. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Posted Today 6:17 PM (GMT 0)
I'm starting to get paranoid. How come no one has replied to my post. I'm in such a dark place and really need a little love.
Posted Today 7:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Ziggy and welcome,

I am sorry that you are going through a rough time right now:( I am not home at the moment, but wanted you to know that people are listening...it just takes awhile to respond...this is the slow time of the day on the forums.

I will post back later when I get to my home computer:)

Scaredy Cat
Posted Today 8:03 PM (GMT 0)
thanks cat. It feels like this will never end, the dread, anxiety. It's all consuming. I just worked out really hard and may feel a teensy bit better. I'm just amazed that I even got out of bed let alone work out. Kind of forced on me as my wife is a pilates instructor and needed me to filll a group class spot. Thank god for that.

Is this power that is keeping upright right now divine? I wonder. I hope so. Faith in something outside of my self is really important right now.
Posted Today 9:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi again:)

So your wife is a Pilates instructor? So is my sister, and I am a dance teacher...small world:)  Yes working out is one of the best stress-reducing activities that you can do...keep it up!

I am really glad to read that you are going to seek therapy to help you with your anxiety issues! I too suffer with health anxiety, to the point where I was having daily panic attacks. My life was pretty much out of control. I could work, and take care of my family, but inside I was a trembling mess.

I went through two rounds of CBT, along with reading self-help books, and coming here for sharing and advice. This was what brought me from where I was, to where I am today. Able to manage my anxiety!

I know when you are at your low points, it does not seem possible to come back up and feel good again, but it is. I, and others here are the proof.

You can do this for yourself and your family. You have already taken the first few steps...you have reached out here, and are getting the help from a professional that you need! Those are great places to start, and you will only improve from here:)

Keep posting here with us. This is a great place for support and information. I am glad that you have already been reading some of the archives, there are some great things to be learned there! We also have an Anxiety Resource Guide (main page 3rd post) that has some links to breathing/relaxation videos that you may want to add to your arsenal of anxiety busters.

Take care, and talk to you soon,
S.C.
Posted Today 10:00 PM (GMT 0)
thanks so much for you kind reply. Being alone is so much a part of this thing. It's good to know there are others out there like me.

Can you be more specific about the Anxiety Resource Guide. I went to the Home page and don't see it.

ziggy
Posted Today 10:11 PM (GMT 0)
Oh sure. It is on the first page, after you get into this forum. IOW, when you click on Anxiety/Panic room, you will see it is the third post down, called Anxiety-Panic Resources.

There are a lot of self-help options to try here. They really do help. I always still recommend therapy along with these tools...but you could certainly get a head start with these, and start to feel better sooner, hopefully:)

S.C.
Posted Today 10:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Ziggy, just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I do not personally suffer from anxiety, but my boyfriend does, and I can just see the sinking feeling and the feel of hopelessness. He too is going to see a therapist, and he doesn't take meds because the side effects freak him out. He gets very anxious about his health so the moment he doesn't feel "right" he spirals down into a deep panic and he can't seem to get out of it. Sometimes it gets so bad he tells me he feels like he's dead and has to check his pulse multiple times and control his breathing. We checked him in the ER 3 times in one week until we figured out we were rushing him for his anxiety, not anything physically health related.

It's scary, but you're not alone. I found that working out is really helpful. Right now he is really out of shape so we've been walking around 2-4 hours a day as our exercise, but it helps immensely. It lessens his panic attacks and he does feel good afterwards.

It sounds like you have a supporting wife, which is wonderful. My boyfriend says whenever he feels completely anxious and hopeless and at rock bottom, he remembers he has me and my support. Maybe you can think about your wife to help calm you down too when you're real low.
Posted 12/3/2011 3:42 AM (GMT 0)
Hey quick question for you guys. Talked to my doctor today we decided that I would try to take xanax for the short term to see if it would break the anxiety cycle. I took .25mg this afternoon and it knocked out the anxiety but seemed to intensify the depression. Anybody have any experience with this. It's a very confusing state as I appreciate my heart not pounding but what to do with the depression? Any words would be great.
Posted 12/3/2011 4:04 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Ziggy,

Maybe I can help you with your question,  Benzodiazepines are among the most commonly prescribed depressant medications in the United States today.  Benzodiazepines are a class of psychoactive drugs that act as central nervous system depressants. That is why they often help best with anxiety but if you have depression too then you really walk a fine line.  Most Drs. will prescribe an antidepressant for patients with anxiety and depression.  They may prescribe short term use of a drug like xanax until the antidepressant kicks in.

 

I can understand your feelings of loneliness. You are not alone. I often have found myself there and it's a horrible place to be. But don't give up. You can't dwell on the past, only enjoy the present.

One of the biggest lessons I've ever learned I discovered from listening to others here in the forum. You can look to someone or something else to make you happy. But in the end, only YOU can make yourself happy. You have to be happy with yourself, have pride in yourself, be comfortable with who you are.  

Keep hope and know things will turn for you. You deserve to happy, we all do. Good luck!

Kitt

 

Posted 12/3/2011 4:27 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Kitt I am already on Celexa and Trazadone. Due to backing off on the Celexa and some major stress in my life I've really down the rabbit hole. So the Xanax is little extra to combat the anxiety. Unfortunately the depression got worse. I wonder if it will subside after I get used to it?
Posted 12/3/2011 3:55 PM (GMT 0)
Ziggy,

We must go to the same Dr.  :-)   I am on Celexa and Trazadone.  I use Valium as needed for the anxiety. 

I am wondering if you backed off of your Celexa dose due to the warning re this med or because you are trying to wean down on the Celexa.  I use 20 mg of Celexa and that is the max dose for someone my age.  People under 60 years old - the max dose is 40mg of Celexa per day according to my clinic which is a large Metropolitan Group.  

The Trazadone I use every night for sleep and it has been the one miracle drug that I have found that works well for me.  Insominia was a huge issue for me 6 years ago but Trazadone at 150mg does the trick.

I really hope your body adjusts to your medication changes and know I am here anytime you have a question.

Kindly,

Kitt

 

Posted 12/10/2011 2:55 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Ziggy,

Just my input here. My doctor gave me hydroxazine and zoloft for my anxiety and depression. Taking these meds seemed to make my heart slow down and really, really freaked me out, also killed my general attitude of wanting to be alive. If you can help it, start walking little by little. After a month of walking my anxiety has calmed way down, and I even have my diabetes at a semi-normal level. All I can really say is you're not alone in this and a CBT is going to help! Good luck and keep us posted.

Tame & Hitam
Posted 12/10/2011 5:54 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Hitam...still not out of the woods. I just spent a week with my ailing mother we live 3000 miles apart and I'm all she has. So cause for extra stress and anxiety. I see my new therapist on Monday and a psych on Thursday. This is hell. I started doing some relaxation exercises this morning using the Anxiety and Phobia Handbook. I recommend it to anyone struggling it's a good adjunct to formal therapy and medical treatment.
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