need advice for my brother

Hey Dakota,

It can be incredibly rough seeing someone you care about go through something like this, and it's great that you're trying to get some advice on how to deal with this. However, if your brother is refusing help, there's not much you can do to for him. It's a difficult journey with anxiety and depression, and it takes a lot of courage to actually accept help and decide to change; these conditions are addicting, they become a way of life and trying to see the other side is almost impossible sometimes.

If you haven't already (though it sounds like you have), try having a frank discussion with your brother about his issues, and that there is help available. Therapy doesn't have to be the only answer, there is also medication (if he's not on it already), or even meditation and relaxation techniques that can help to soothe anxiety and depression. Sometimes people just need to be reminded that they do deserve to feel good, and to live a healthy (mentally, physically, spiritually) life.

However, if you cannot get through to your brother, I really don't know what advice to give. You can't help someone that doesn't want it, and sometimes it does just take time for a person to come around and address that they need help. Admitting that you need help is difficult on all of us, because many people view it as a sign of weakness. If anything, it's a sign of bravery and courage; changing your life isn't always easy, but the more someone knows that they don't have to do it alone, the easier it is for them to make that first leap.

I wish you all the best, and please keep us updated on your brother's condition.

You'll both be in my thoughts.
--Em

Hi and welocme! Your brother is lucky to have you and your aunt support him! Hopefully with your help, he will take the steps to find some treatment.

If he is willing, please let him know that we are here and always willing to talk with him. This is a safe place of support and peer connection. We are all dealing with basically the same feelings and experiences, and understand where he is coming from.

He could even just read through some of the old posts, and get an idea of what we are about before he even officially 'signs up'.

The other advice given by em is also great...and I'll add one more. You could get him a self-help CBT workbook, and/or suggest the website Moodgym (www.Moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome) which is an online therapy site.

I hope that he will listen to his 'sis' and give one of these things a try...he won't regret it:)

Take care,
Scaredy Cat

dakota,

Welcome to HealingWell and I admire you for looking for ways to support your brother.  It feels to me  like you are lucky to  have each other and I hope I can give you some helpful advice.

It sounds like things have been difficult for  your brother and for you. Understandably, you're concerned about his mental well being and this is very upsetting for you.

It can be hard to know how to support someone who is experiencing mental health issues, especially when the person doesn't think they need help.  As a person who has depression when I am feeling down I feel alone in the world.

Here is what I would suggest that you or anyone trying to help a person with anxiety/depression keep in mind:

1. Listen when your brother wants to talk. If you're there to help  him talk things through, it may help

him feel better or consider treatment.

2.  Keep your relationship as normal as you can, but don't pretend that depression doesn't exist or that there isn't a problem.

3.  Ask your brother to do things with you, such as go for walks or to a movie, and encourage him to continue with favorite activities. If he says no, then that's okay. But be sure to ask again in the future. Don't push too much, which may make the him feel worse.

4.  Offer to help your brother set up and get to visits with a doctor or other health professional. For me having my husband with me in the beginning when I agreed to see the Dr. was a huge help and it also gave my husband first hand knowledge of what the Dr. had to recommend.

Remember you cannot force anyone to seek help but you can just be there for them...................most important - take care of yourself.  You may feel hurt because your brother isn't paying attention to you and may seem angry or uncaring. Remember that your brother still cares for you but just isn't able to show it.

I hope you keep talking with us here in the forum as we are here to support and share with you.

Kindly,

Kitt