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Posted 2/3/2012 6:38 PM (GMT 0)
Been a long time since I been here, been a rough 7 months since my husband passed away, everyday is rough, I need advice on this situation
A guy from my Church (Just A Friend) ask me out to dinner tonight at Chedder's I am scared to death for the last two days I have had really bad anixety over this all I can think about is the place is a mad house on Friday nights full of people and the noise is going to be unbarable, what if I have a panic attack there, I dont drive so there is no escape any advice on how to get through the night, I am also thinking Joe has only been gone 7 months should I really be going to dinner with another guy??
Posted 2/3/2012 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
Welcom back MzTaz!

Well, I would say that this is an interesting dilemma;p   While you may have mixed feelings about going out...it is nice to be asked isn't it?

I think that if you want to go out with this gentleman then you should. You don't have any reason to feel weird about going out with a friend. You have had a very rough time of it lately, and socializing is a great outlet for grief. It allows you to connect with others and get your mind off of your troubles for awhile.

Of course you don't want to add stress to your life, so I would be upfront with this guy, and tell him that you would rather find a quieter spot for eating...or maybe start out with just coffee, so that you don't feel so stuck. You could even get your coffee to go, and take a walk outside if the weather permits.

I think that it is great that you are considering this...even though of course things have been hard, this may be a step towards healing. 

We are here for you, so please post anytime that you need support and someone to listen.

Let us know if you decide to go out tonight.:)

S.C.

Posted 2/5/2012 1:53 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Scaredy for the advice and answering my post, I did go to Chedders I bit the bullet and took a xanax lol and I went yes it was crowed and noisey but Herb got there a half hour before me to wait in the line so I wouldnt have to so the wait for a table was like 5 min and it was very nice good food good conversation a nice time, we went back to his house for coffee and he showed me pictures of his family, his wife died in a tragic fire 8 years ago he tried to save her but couldnt, his one daughter died 6 months later so what he went thought was rough, it was nice to just sit at the kitchen table and drink coffee and talk time sliped away and it was 11 oclock lol before he said I better get you home and NO ANIXEtY it was a wonderful evening,
Posted 2/5/2012 1:59 PM (GMT 0)
Anna,

I am sorry I missed your post on Friday but I am here now and glad to read you had a good time.   Sounds like Herb is thoughtful and kind and you had a pleasant time. 

Having someone to talk to that you connect with is a good thing and I am glad you chose to go to dinner with this person. 

It is so good to see you back in the forum. :-)

Kindly,

Kitt

Posted 2/5/2012 3:04 PM (GMT 0)
Good for you! He sounds like a really nice and thoughtful guy with no agenda. I think you'll be glad you struck up a friendship with him. You can always use people like him in your life. And it's never too early to accept an invitation to dinner with a friend unless you're not ready! And based on your description of the evening I'd say you are!!
Posted 2/5/2012 3:40 PM (GMT 0)
MzTaz that is wonderful news!

I am glad that you went out of your comfort zone and had a positive experience.:)

I am sorry to hear that your friend has his own story of loss. I am sure that you can be of comfort to each other though, since you have a common bond in that respect. That is part of what friendship is after all!

I hope that the future brings more shared times together, if you so choose. Do keep posting with us as you are an important part of our community!:)

Talk to you soon,
S.C.
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