Panic cycle, I am not doing well.

I'm having a problem.. I'm getting severe anxiety from stress and worrying about my dad who is in the hospital (With cancer) and also worrying about my friend who is going through a hard time currently.. I feel guilty that I can't do anything to help him and i also feel horrible bvecause my father is in another town and i can't go and see him, I miss him and it's really hard without him around... I thought i was doing better but I'm sliding back down to bad anxiety.. The WORST anxiety I get is also coupled with stomach aches and diarhea (tmi? everyone does it at one point in their life so idc).. It's not always this bad, it's usually never this bad but sometimes when I'm already stressed it does get like this... I've been having good and bad times this month, my anxiety has been up and down and i've been fighting with close friends on and off since my dad was hospitalized.. I'm scared and worried for my dad, I'm worried about my friend.. I'm worried about myself since I haven't been eating right and stressing about a million things which I understand can even cause diarhea.. Diarhea/stomach aches like that is a really bad trigger for my anxiety so it gets worse the more stressed I am.. The problem I am facing is that I have created an anxiety loop and am now stuck in it.. I can't stop thinking and fearing the what ifs created by my mind.. Last night/this morning I had a bad panic attack and a stomach ache w/ diarhea (Don't tell me I have IBS, It's already been ruled out, The Dr told me it was just from overstressing) It happened last night around 1:30 - 2:00am... I've been trying to do better with both my diet and my mood (I lash out at people a lot, anger management, i'm insecure and timid and scared and I don't have a support group or anyone I feel like I can lean on with my problems right now) ... I'm scared that I will keep being scared and it'll keep causing more stress and more stomach aches and more diarhea which will reinforce my fears, I had panic attacks each night during the beginning of the month, every night at 8:45pm... I Understand that i do it to myself but when i am in the throws of anxiety it's extremely hard to break or be logical about it.

I need help.. :/

Hello and welcome to HealingWell. I am sorry to hear of your Dad's cancer and this alone is a huge stress for you.

I sense that your major issues may be that you are not able to be with your Dad as much as you would like and that you fear something may happen to him when your not there.

I went through this same situation when my Dad died of cancer and the one thing I promised myself was no guilt. My Dad would have felt so bad to know that I did not think I had done enough when my every thought, all my prayers and the time I was able to spend with him was out of pure love. He also lived over 100 miles from me and there were times when I drove in the middle of the night through snowstorms to get to the hospital to be with him.

My advice for what it's worth is that you follow your own hunches and instincts. If you can't be away from home to frequently or to long you may just have to go visit when your own schedule allows. One thing you can do is to call and talk with your Dad even if it is only for a few minutes at a time and call as many times a day as you feel you want to. Hearing your voice, if he is able to, will bring him comfort.

This is an important time in your life when you must take care of yourself so I am wondering if you have access to a therapist that can help you through this rough time ?

My heart goes out to you -- I know this is terrible time in your life.

Keep talking with us and let your anger out here, vent away and we will read. Avoid getting into situations where your anger gets the best of you. Walk away from people who are triggering your feelings right now and come here to let out your feelings.

We understand how you feel.

Kindly,
Kitt