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i have no idea what's gong on with me

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Posted 2/29/2012 1:12 AM (GMT 0)

i didn't go to work today either and i really never want to go back I HATE MY JOB and i feel like its causing alot of anxiety to kick i'm not sure why i can't suppress it this time like i have been able to before its like i dont' even have the strength :-( i just want to cry for days its not only the job its other things that are pile n up on me out of no where (the past) missing an x -being both parents to a teenager i'm tired of working just a job i'm tired of being alone and not being able to hold on to friends bc of walls i've built to avoid hurt i'm a wreck and it hurts all i want to do is sleep sometimes until i die  i've dealt with depression before and i thought it was gone i have never taking anything for it but prayer and i saw a therapist like 3 times i never knew this would be permanent. tension all over my body-i'm not having sex which i don't want to use as a solution to any problem anymore. the drinking i don't want to use the smoking i don't want to do but i'm so stressed about not sinning it's bringing on more anxiety-i'm begging for some encouragement. i don't talk about this much afraid no one understands

Posted 2/29/2012 3:14 AM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry for how you are feeling. I have had several jobs that I hated, and the situation can really make things tough, on top of the fact that life itself can be so unpredictable and stressful. I also use prayer, and after years of going to different churches, I found one where I am welcome just as I am. I no longer work; I have been disabled for 8 years now, and am still trying to adapt to just who I am, since our work defines who we are so much.

And then you have the added stress of a teenager, which I cannot imagine, since I've never been married or fathered any children. I know how it feels to want to just sleep. I know how it feels to want to have sex to at least "get away" from the other parts of your life. I gave up drinking permanently over 3 years ago, and would say to you to keep praying and set small goals as much as you can. Are you on any medication? I have anxiety and panic disorder, and take Klonopin on a regular basis, and then since my psychiatrist knows me very well, I can take some Xanax PRN (as needed). Some psychiatrists don't want you to take more than one kind of benzodiazepene, but I do not take more than the dosage that I am given, so if you are seeing a psychiatrist it is important to earn their trust.

Also, just take life one minute at a time, literally. We all can feel so overwhelmed if we think of everything that is going on all at one time. It sounds like you are carrying a lot of heavy stuff, when in fact you can only do so much at a time. I highly recommend a therapist if you can afford it. You really need to unload. You might have to go to several therapists to find the right one. You can do it. I know you can. Ask God to help you over and over and over. At least that works for me, while others might say there is no God. But I know there is.

Blessings to you. May you have peace someway, somehow.
Posted 2/29/2012 3:42 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much for your support, I will be looking for a therapist tomorrow! I definately need help, which i'm not use to asking for but when you need it you can't get around it
Posted 2/29/2012 3:55 AM (GMT 0)
Hey there ... it is so important to realize that we ALL need help at times. Be good to yourself. You deserve it, regardless of what you may think. Please be sure to ask for the help you need, and keep asking until you receive it. I wish you all the best, and will continue to look for your posts whenever I can.
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