Anxious teenage daughter with morning nausea and diarrhea

Hi everyone, I am new to the forums, from the UK, and am really worried about my daughter so could do with some support!  She is 16 and for a while now has been suffering from feeling sick in the mornings. She has never been sick, gagged a few times maybe but not actually 'produced'. We have experimented with different breakfasts and sometimes she seemed to be a bit better but most days she has been going to college feeling sick and struggled through the mornings in class. She then gets shaky and faint and often has to leave the class for ten mins or so which is embarrassing for her.  It suddenly seems to have developed into diarrhea in the mornings now which is worse as she really does need the loo in the class, she can't just sit there and 'think' it away.  She has had various tests at the docs but I know this is anxiety and with no physical cause. She does not get it in the afternoons, evenings, weekends or school hols. The only time she does is if she has to go far away from home on a trip somewhere. The earlier in the morning she has to get up, the worse it is. If we have to get up early to catch a flight, she will be pale and feel sick for a few hours. She has always had a fear of being sick and unfortunately has had quite a few sicky virus's which I think may have set this off, she was very ill over a year ago with viral gastroentritis and was ill for three weeks. She is also not very 'strong', she cannot tolerate any form of discomfort, she will cry if she has her blood pressure tested (can't bear the tightness on the arm) and freaks out about injections. She has not got any obvious problems, she gets good grades (without pressure), has friends and a stable, happy home life.

The doc has told me she can take immodium for the diarrhea and has referred her to a psychologist to have some CBT. Has anyone had this and did it help? Also, does anyone know of teenagers that have been put on anti-depressants for this? In the UK we have one called Citalopram which is brilliant for anxiety and panic but they don't like to give it to youngsters.  I think she is just on a panic cycle about being sick and that cycle has to be broken. Any advice would be appreciated, I am so worried and am starting to feel very anxious myself!

Poppygirl

Hi Poppygirl
what your daughters going through sound just like me 15 years ago. When I was about 16 i was sick on and off with a series of viruses for over 6 months ending in a strep throat and a rather spectacular secondary infection. The whole thing left me feeling drained, anxious and quite under weight (under 50 kgs!) I also became depressed. I would feel sick after eating even small amounts. Breakfast used to make me feel terrible so I often went to school after only having a cup of tea. I went to the dr about the physical symptoms but I didn't tell anyone about other things I was feeling. I used to get angry with the people around my for not noticing that something was going on. I didn't seek treatment until I was in my early 20's and practically house bound.
Anxiety does trigger off diarrhea in lots of people (myself included) and developed quite a phobia about it. You're right about the cycle. the anxiety make you sick which makes you anxious which makes you feel even worse. It's brought me to tears sometimes. It can also make you senses hypersensitive including touch which maybe a reason she can't stand the pressure cuff. I know a lot of the women on here noticed their anxiety levels are linked to their cycle and get worse at certain times. that might be aggravating things too.
It's great that your supporting your daughter through this and she's getting treatment early on in her life so can develop the coping skills for later in life.
I hope things start to improve for both of you soon :)

I have two daughters as well, and they are as different as night and day. My oldest is as open as a book (sometimes alarmingly so!) and my younger one, well she hasn't hit adolesence yet, but I think she will be more private. The key is knowing how to communicate with them...but of course that is easier said than done, right?

Her therapist will hopefully know how to approach her, having dealt with a spectrum of different personalities...and may even help open the lines of communication up between you and your daughter. However, don't be suprised if she talks more to her therapist than you. This is pretty normal, and will be to her advantage as far as her recovery goes. Sometimes it is just easier to talk to someone impartial!

Keep posting for yourself as well. Yes, having a child go through something like this could stir up your own anxieties. We will be here to support you and cheer you on. You are doing great, and everything is going to start to improve soon.:)

Hugs for you and your daughter,

S.C.

Hi there you two and thanks for your replies. Things are so frustrating at the moment. Our doctor referred her to CAMHS (Child and adolescent mental health team) two weeks ago and I phoned them up myself this week. They have told me they don't consider her to be serious enough, that she obviously has a problem with school and have suggested we access the counselling team through the school. So basically they have rejected her referral. My doctor has re-referred her and I have written saying that she doesn't have a problem with school but she has an anxiety/panic disorder that is manifesting itself at school because it is a public place i.e. how can you be fine if you have diarrhoea sitting in the classroom - you have to leave the room and everyone looks at you. She is on a viscious cycle because she cannot stand the feelings that anxiety bring i.e. feeling sick and she stays at home as it is 'safe' to have diarrhoea there. No-one seems to get that she is not worried about her exams (she has always been very laid back and nonchalent about such things!) and she is not being bullied, she has a fear of being ill at school and by avoiding school is making the situation worse!

I have started to remember other things as well now, like 8 months ago she had a sickness bug (picked up at school as always) and had a panic attack whilst being sick. She also gets an upset stomach on public transport and when she is away from home.

She doesn't seem to 'get' that she is not actually sick (she never has been unless she has had a virus) so she can't seem to tell herself that it is only a feeling and it will pass. I know it isn't her fault but I find that so frustrating!

I am hoping that CAMHS will now realise that her case is more pressing than they originally thought and will see her soon but I don't hold out much hope. In which case we will take her to a private psychologist for CBT but I just feel I have to wait to see what CAMHS say.

I spoke to my doc about medication and she cannot put her on anything because of her age but CAMHS could authorise it but they won't if they don't get to see her! I said to the doc that I could not see how a very low dose (like 10mg) of an anti-depressant could harm her and she agreed with me and said it probably wouldn't but her hands were tied.

Belle I am sure she knows I am stressed. I am trying to hide it and be calm and smiley but she knows I am not sleeping well and I look like c----p! How can a mother not be worried about her precious daughter, it is so hard.

I am scared of booking her in with the private psychologist in case CAMHS suddenly say they will see her in a week or so and she has started with him and then has to break away and see someone else, that can't be good surely.

Thank you for letting me rant. I hope you both are doing ok at the moment x

Thankyou SC. I will have a look now. I have told her about deep breathing, I use it myself but being sixteen she sort of looks at me as if I am mad and I don't think she tries these things. I will persist though. I feel awful at the moment, I have just dropped her into town to meet some friends and she has diarrhoea. She is pale and anxious. It is my worst fear, that she gets anxious about doing ordinary things now. I am giving the NHS (UK free healthcare) one more week and then I will get her to see someone private - I don't care how much it costs. (it is at these times I wish we had taken out private medical insurance!). If she copes with staying in town this afternoon I am going to praise her for her inner strength, but instead of having a relaxing Sunday afternoon with my husband I am looking at my cellphone waiting for her to call to say for me to come and get her! If she stays the course she will have done so well. I am so glad CBT worked for you, it gives me hope, love Poppy

I don't know if this is a similiar situation, but my 8 year old is having similiar problems. Ever since she had the stomach flu 3 weeks ago she has been feeling nauseas every day. It is especially bad in the morning. She feels like she's going to throw up, but she doesn't. It was causing her a lot of anxiety and I wasn't sure which came first. She was so afraid to go to school because she thought she'd throw up and it was making her feel sicker and panicky. The doctor put her on prilosec (because she thinks her esophogus lining is really irritated) and she told me to give her a probiotic for at least a month. I'll let you know if it works. A probiotic helps get good stomach bacteria back in and it's recommended for everyone. Maybe you could try that for your daughter. You've got nothing to lose really. Also have you had your daughter tested for low hypoglycemia? I know when I wake up I have to eat something right away or else I feel terrible and I also get nervous when I have to rush and/or when I'm going someplace new. It helps me to make sure I get everything ready the night before and to write notes about what I need to remember. It also helps me to leave enough time to have a leisurely breakfast (although that doesn't happen much). Maybe she could start with something really small, like a banana and then eat a little more later.

I also wanted to add that I would recommend pepto bismol for the diahrea unless it's really bad. Immodium works really well and really fast, but then you don't go at all for a day or two. I sometimes take a pepto before I'm going somewhere if I'm getting anxious and I can tell I"m going to have intestinal issues. It works more slowly and isn't as dehyrating IMO.

Post Edited (paniccu) : 3/12/2012 7:22:19 PM (GMT-6)

Hi- I'm new to the site but felt I had to share my experience with my daughter. She was 9 yrs old when it seemed she had a stomach flu for 2 months during school, oh, and a headache. It took me a month to figure out she was stressed out and we tried a different diet, not only to calm her digestive tract but removed all refined sugars/ flours or anything that could make her a little 'hyper.' This helped but not enough- eventually she didn't want to eat and lost a lot of weight. I took her to the dr. during all of this and the suggestion was kids' zantac for the nausea (thought to be due to reflux), immodium for the diarrhea, and later an anxyolitic. This didn't make me feel comfortable, after all she was just 9! I researched several topics and came across irritable bowl syndrome (IBS), a condition which causes gastrointestinal problems; although not much on the topic, it is thought to be triggered by stress. So, I asked her Dr. for a referral to a children's gastroenterologist, who gave her the diagnosis of IBS. Uncommon for a child her age, which is why the regular Dr. didn't even consider it- she was put on an anti-spasmodic which helped and she started eating normal after 1 week. The specialist didn't like the idea of immodium long term as it can cause paralysis of the intestine; instead, she was to take fiber (citrucel or metamucil). When her stomach stopped bothering her in school, the stress went down and she coped; she is fine now and we are learning to deal with stress. I fear her hormonal changes when she becomes a teenager though. Anxiety runs in families and can manifest in a variety of ways- her older brother has ADHD, which is also been linked to anxiety (for him, xercise helps though Vit. B-12 sublingual and in high doses are miraculous! He doesn't have a super bad case). So, not trying to say your daughter has or doesn't have anxiety- just sharing; the antispasmodic helped with the cramps and had a calming effect. Finally, anxiety can trigger autoimmune disorders, so getting the right treatment early on is very important. I feel for you as a mother- good luck and keep searching; not all doctors are created equal and sometimes they too miss something as they are human(they can never have a bad day). You are doing everything right and your daughter is fortunate to have you as a mother

PG,

That is great news about the program!!! They will know how to help your daughter...and hopefully this will take some of the anxiety off of you as well!

Let us know how her progress is coming along.:)

S.C.

Hi PG and welcome back:)

Do not feel selfish...you have been dealing with alot! Not only your own anxiety issues, but your daughter's as well...and if I may gently suggest that the weight of it has been mostly on your shoulders...as it seems that at this time, she is not very pro-active in getting/reiceiving help.

I think that as she gets a little older, with more maturity and less teenage angst, she will come around and be more receptive...so do not despair. The things that she is learning in therapy will be there to help her when she chooses to use them. It is sinking in even if it seems it's not!

Keep up the good work mom...you are doing a great job...but don't be afraid to step back and let her (and her therapist of course) take up some of the responsibility of her recovery. You are always there for her, and she knows that, but maybe giving her the little push to own her issues and treatment could be a good step.:)

I am keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for the update, and let us know how you are doing soon.

S.C.

It's great that you've been able to access those services. At least it's a step in the right direction. Hopefully she'll be able to form a bond with the therapist and trust her. There might be the issue of not wanting wanting to be labeled "mentally ill" lurking around her head too. It took me a long time to accept that I fall under the heading of mentally ill. It must be even harder for a teen.
Best of luck to both of you :)

Well I am sorry that the original team that she was seeing was not helpful...but great job on getting set up in private therapy. I am sure that you wil find that it's worth it.:)

I wish her the best during her exams. I am sure that she will do much better now due to the therapy, medication and the awareness of the school!

Changes are being made, and things are going in the right direction to help her navigate her way through this exam time, even with her issues.

Thanks for checking in, and keep us posted.:)

S.C.

Thankyou for your kind words Kitt. She has had five sessions with the psychologist and they have been going well in that she was able to attend school to do her exams! She had a panic attack before the first one and after sitting outside the school with her wrestling with herself as to whether she could go in or not, we missed the start of the exam and she had to come home. Half an hour later she had calmed herself down and said "I think I could go in now". The school said to bring her in for the second half of the exam and she did it. After that, she attended all her exams, I could see she was anxious but she did not get herself into a state again. I think the fact that she calmed herself down the first time, gave her the confidence to realise that she can handle the anxiety if she is determined.  So that is progress and at least this year is now finished and she has one year of college left before Uni/job or whatever it is she is going to do.

I am feeling a bit fed up today as I have just taken her to her therapy and she announced she felt ill right before we were leaving and that she didn't want to go. The trouble is, she says she feels ill so often I have no idea if it is anxiety or if it is something else. I was cross as if we do not attend the session at such short notice, I still have to pay. We got to the building with her sullen and morose and pale and when the psychologist came to get her she would not move so I had a word with him and he said that we had booked the hour and that he would wait in his room and if she wanted to join him during that time she could. Conversely, if she wanted to go home she could and we were to just let the receptionist know. She ended up going in about 20 mins late so at least saw him for a while. I still don't know if it was anxiety. I guess I will have to see if she does the same next week but so far, she has been fine and gone in relatively happy.

She is so bad at feeling ill - she gives into it, even if she has a headache. She can't seem to 'soldier on'. Maybe it's her age.

So on the 11th June normal school will resume until they break up in July. This is the next hurdle, to get her back to normal class, even if it is for a few hours a day at first. If she manages it, I will be one hugely relieved person and maybe I can start to get my life back a bit (I know that sounds dramatic but this is how it has felt).

I hope you find a good CBT therapist Kitt, I am sure it will help.

Poppy x

Thank you gishstar, I will tell her about the NO and STOP. It may be difficult to eliminate the dairy from her diet as she is a veggie and loves cheese and stuff but I can look at alternatives. It makes sense as she did not want breakfast so I used to make her a banana milkshake and I think that made her worse! She does not have a faith unfortunately (yet) but I do so I pray for her and I feel we are getting help which is a comfort to me. xx