HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

UGH driving sucks right now!!

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 3/29/2012 4:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all! I've been a member of this site for about a week, and it's been a tremendous help!!!! I'm hoping for some support on something...

Anxiety is a problem for me in general, and I'm seeking treatment via a psychiatrist as well as a therapist. I feel pretty good right now except for what has now become my kryptonite, so to speak...driving long distances. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for the fact that I have a 40+ mile commute 5 days a week.

I'll make a very long story short. Yesterday, my drive started out with full blown anxiety. I could feel a panic attack coming, so I took a little bit of a different route to distract myself. Worked like a champ, but I was 10 minutes late to work.

I drove home from work using a different route, hoping to distract my mind. Worked fine except for the very end (literally a mile or less from home). I think what happened is my drive, if I don't do any fancy distraction moves, is 55 minutes door to door. Well, by 'distracting' myself, my drive had become 1 hr and 20 minutes....and because I was dying to get home and stop driving because I was anxious, it just made me frustrated and upset. I had an awful sleep because I knew, in the morning, I'd have to drive to work again.

The great thing is, work in and of itself is fine...no anxiety...

So I drove to work today, deciding that while I felt fine, I'd take a xanax to ensure myself a pleasant experience. I also decided to do a different distracting way. Worked great...until I realized I was now running late and needed to make up for lost time. Petrifying anxiety the last 20 minutes of the drive. 10 minutes late to work again.

So here's where I'd like some advice. Do I do the drive that would normally take me 55 minutes and 'ride out' the anxiety? It's just SO uncomfortable and makes me feel physically ill...or do I 'distract' myself but add to the anxiety because it's taking me so long???? I'll take any input and advice!!

Also, is CBT different from regulary therapy? I've been seeing a therapist for about 6 weeks, and I'm happy with going, she seems good, etc. But I'm not sure if what I'm getting is CBT, and from what I've been reading and hearing, that's what I need. I also purchased "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett, as recommended by many of you. Excited about that :)

Have a great day, and please let me know what you think!!! xoxo
Posted 3/29/2012 4:45 PM (GMT 0)
Good Morning,

I would suggest getting up earlier to give yourself plenty of time to drive the route that causes you the least anxiety. Take your Xanax 15 minutes before your ready to head out, turn on your favorite radio station and if you have heated seats - turn your seat to low as the warmth of the seat helps keep your back relaxed.  Yes I even do this in the summer - just turn up the air conditioner and turn on the heated seat.  I will just remind myself to relax back into the warmth of the seat when I start to tense up.  It is like feeling the sun shining on you !

Happy Trails,

Kitt

Posted 3/29/2012 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
That's a great tip! I think getting up early to give me the extra time is worth it...until I get passed this, I need to just do what's going to be least likely to make me want to run back to bed and hide!

I actually just got a car loaded with bells and whistles hoping to make the drive more fun...and it has, when I'm not having panic attacks LOL. One of my must-haves was heated seats. I will remember to turn it on to help relax. And, while I've taken more xanax than usual lately (just switched to zoloft from effexor and I'm still in that transitional phase...), I'll definitely take one before I leave work.

There have been so many times since my driving anxiety has gotten bad that I want to quit my job, but I KNOW that won't help, or be the right move, because a.) I would be letting my anxiety get the best of me, and b.) I actually like my job. I'm good at it, and I make good money (a HUGE blessing, especially in a bad economy).

So, this too shall pass...and in the meantime, heated seats, here I come!!
Posted 3/30/2012 12:21 AM (GMT 0)
Hello LMF,

Congrats on the new vehicle..that's always exciting!

Here is my two cents for what it may be worth. The objective is to get to work and you are doing that, even if it's via different routes...that's a positive thing and something to feel good about.

 

I would caution that sometimes avoidance of some things could lead to avoiding other things, simply because you are not getting to the root of the problem. I am certainly not saying that you need to drive the old route immediately, but you may want to consider working on the root of the problem.

 

You mentioned having a hard time sleeping due to the fact that you had to go to work the next day and the old route caused you anxiety...it's things like that example that is a red flag and that type of thinking that is the root.

 

If you get stuck dwelling on your fears and respect that fear enough to avoid it...you give that fear control, the key is to not concentrate on the fear, but facing the fear even though it is super uncomfortable...if you face it you have a chance, a good chance to overcome it. If you know that you have taken that route feeling anxiety and made it...then know that you can take that route and make it EVERYTIME and when you face that fear enough times your fear of that route will diminish because you are not respecting the fear or feeding the anxiety.

 

Fear is what fuels anxiety, facing those fears take tremendous courage, but the rewards are priceless and the personal victories are endless....avoiding the fear may make us more comfortable short term, but could set us up for more fear and avoidance, making progress almost impossible until we decide to face it and deal with the root at some point....I hope at least a little of this helps your thought process....by the way, I had a road that I became fearful of years ago and stopped going down...when I got in a better state of mind and understanding I began to take that road again...I am telling the truth when I say that is one of my favorite roads to travel now, especially on my motorcycle because it has lots of turns and winds through the back woods...for me that is a great reward because I fought against the fear instead of letting fear take that freedom from me and you can do it too!!....very best wishes.....WM

Posted 3/30/2012 1:16 AM (GMT 0)
Hi WM! As much as taking my dreaded route brings me very uncomfortable, I know that ultimately, taking it as much as possible is how I'll get over it. You said something about taking your dreaded route when you were in a better state of mind, and that'sactually happened--and worked--before. So, as I'm feeling more stable, I will definitely go back to taking my old route.

I think something I need to try and not do is think about and 'plan' my route so much. I think that starts my obsessive thoughts about the whole thing.

Lack of sleep definitely makes my anxiety worse, and I took a beautiful nap when I got home :) now my plan is to shower, relax and go back to bed again. Tomorrow is another day, and I appreciate you saying I achieved then ultimate goal, which was gettingbto and from work. I needed that reminder!!

Thanks again!!
Posted 3/30/2012 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
LMF,

Perfect!!! I can tell you get it and you listened with an open mind...you nailed it TWICE!

We get so caught up in what's going wrong that we TOTALLY don't recognize the moments when we do something good or achieve something notable...good for you annnnnd you at least said it in black and white...which is the equivalent to saying it out loud....you're going to take a shower and RELAX and get some sleep.....again, Good for you!

 

I will leave you with this...it is been said on here many times and the one that I recall saying it the most is SC.....if you say it out loud and enough....you may not totally buy into it at first, but by saying it, you plant seeds, saying it enough is like adding water to seed and when you do that it can't help but grow.

 

I'm proud of your mindset and effort....stay the course and celebrate the little things and you will go far....Best wishes for you....WM

Posted 3/30/2012 3:39 PM (GMT 0)
I TOTALLY get where you're coming from LMF! With the return of my anxiety and panic disorders last year, I have had the same issues as you with driving. It actually ended up costing me my job! I was a school bus driver, and trying to drive a bus while having a panic attack is NO fun at all. I still get anxiety and panic attacks sometimes while driving, especially on highways.

I tend to be fine if i'm just going about 10-15 minutes from home, but any longer than that, and i'm a mess!!! If I have to go anywhere long distance, or on the highway, i'll take a xanax about 20-30 minutes before I leave. That's helps ALOT!

Hope you start feeling better soon, Fox
Posted 3/31/2012 3:42 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much, WM and Fox! WM, I agree completely...while I don't always buy it in my heart, I do know what the right thing to do is, and I agree that saying it (or typing it LOL) helps so much!

Fox, I remember reading about driving anxiety causing you your job. I can completely understand how having a disorder like this would make driving crippling!! I believe 100% that everything happens for a reason...why on Earth you struggling with anxiety while being a bus driver would be part of a greater plan is beyond me! And that's how I feel about my anxiety...when I bet to Heaven, I might ask what the point of this was LOL. BUT, it is what it is, and I plan to fight it and WIN!!

I decided to take my driving recovery one step at a time...I've decided to cut my commute in half by driving to a coworker's house who lives on the way to school (I'm a teacher), she'll drive the rest of the wY, and I'll pay for her gas. That way, I'm still driving quite a bit, but I'm giving myself the chance to have more success. At this point, I'm desparate to experience more successful driving, and I think cutting it down a little, at least for the remainder ofmthe school year, will help a LOT.

Thanks again, everyone, for your support!! Xoxo
Posted 3/31/2012 1:14 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes when I've had trouble driving places I 'practice' driving there on my own relaxed time. Driving an hour away just for no reason may seem unreasonable. But for me, if it meant desensitizing myself to reduce anxiety, it would be worth it. But it sounds like you have found some soulutions that are working for you.

Unfortunately, I too have let panic attacks cost me my job. It's not just panic attacks, it's feeling nauseated(due to anxiety or acid reflux-not sure), the phobia of throwing up, constant worrying. It's all spiraling out of control.

But I know regular exercise and relaxation will help.
Posted 3/31/2012 9:14 PM (GMT 0)
"Lovemyfam2012,
I am very impressed by your determination and creativity. Many big hugs, Szm
Posted 4/1/2012 1:52 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks!! One step at a time, right?? I appreciate your kind words!!
Posted 4/1/2012 2:20 PM (GMT 0)
Lovemyfam2012

I admire your determination and your thinking outside the box.  Kudos to you for coming up with a way to drive to another teachers house and riding the rest of the way with her to school. 

I bought a new SUV just last year and I love it but I still have anxiety over driving at times.  I have this awesome hubby who will drive me when my anxiety is on the high side.  When I am feeling good I am off and driving on my own.  I love my bells and whistles on my new ride too.  I really love my On-Star.

Success is always to be found on the other side of fear - keep on taking those steps - one at a time.

Kindly,

Kitt

Posted 4/1/2012 3:45 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you!! God bless those understanding husbands! Mine will do the same for me :)
Posted 4/4/2012 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
Oh boy can i relate to this driving is my worst panic I have been doing real well with it for a long time, but am just now having some issues, I bought a cd Called Passing through Panic by Dr. Claire Weeks, this has helped me so much.  I'm starting to understand that you have to let go, do not tense up do not fight panic, this is the only way through and i'm going to do this.  My biggest fear is if i pull over to let the panic ride though me I will crack up have a break down,  My sane mind knows this will not happen but in the moment of panic it will not think straight.  So yesterday was real bad, but i made it to work and on the way home i was fine till i had to go over a bridge, panic won, had to call my husband, to talk me over the bridge.  I'm ok today, really only get panic when driving no where else.  I plan on sticking around the boards and getting advie and helping when i can.

 

Hope all is well.

 

Randi yeah

Posted 4/4/2012 7:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hi SM and welcome!

Thanks for commenting:) Yes, please do stick around...this is a great place to give and get support and encouragement!

We all understand what each other is going through, and are happy to help.

Please feel free to start your own thread of introduction and let us know more about you, if you feel comfortable doing so.

Talk to you soon,

S.C.
Posted 4/4/2012 11:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Randi! These forums have really, really helped me a lot! That CD sounds like it's worth checking out. I just started reading 'Panic to Power' that a lot of people have suggested. That has been helping a lot, too!

I mentioned previously a plan I started this week, where I am driving to a coworker's house, who lives about halfway between my house and school. She drives us from her house, and I give her gas money. The great thing for me is that, in order to get to her house, I have to do the part of the drive I hate the most, which is the highway. Then, when I get to her house, I get the break I'm so desperately needing! Anyway, it worked FANTASTIC! I say 'worked' because today I overslept and told her go on without me. I drove to and from work with no issues!! Tomorrow I need to drive alone again because of a commitment I have after work, but I'm hopeful it will be incident free!!

I completely understand your fear about pulling over. I feel the same way...like I won't recover and be able to et on the road again, and I'll be stuck there, draw attention to myself, etc...but I realize that's one of those pesky 'what if' scenarios anxiety likes to do to us. I try really hard now to remind myself that those 'what ifs' need to stop if I'm gonna get over this. And I will, and you will, too,

God bless!
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply