Andddd I'm back!

Hello, everyone! 

It's been a while since I've been here, but for me it's sort of a good thing, in a way.  I haven't really had any bad episodes of anxiety since that whole heart murmur scare. 

However, I still wanted to check in and give an update.  For the most part, I've been well--that experience taught me not to panic at the first sign of weird symptoms.  I know now that there are a lot of things, many of them perfectly innocuous, that can cause all sorts of crazy symptoms.  I've had some palps here and there, but nothing that sends me into a spiral of panic. I realize now that I have a tendency to be dehydrated and I make an effort to drink tons more water, since I'm pretty sure that's what causes the vast majority of my palps and occasional flank pain.  All my tests always look good.  :]

In other news, I AM having a little anxiety... but in sort of a good way.  My husband and I decided to start trying to have a baby.  I'm nervous, and there's a lot to plan for, since one of us will probably quit working. However, I'm sure we can manage it.  I've done a lot of work and a lot of research, so I at least know what I'll be getting into, financially, for the most part.  I just hope I can keep a lid on any major anxiety issues during this entire process, but I think I've got a decent degree of control over it.  I'm pretty excited, and, of course, anxious... but I'm sure that's to be expected.  I know it'll likely be a little stressful--I tend to be quite...er... irregular, so I know this will make the timing a little tricky for actually succeeeding.  Either way... I expect I'll be coming around quite a bit through this process.

Anyway, I hope all of you are doing well!  Love to Kitt, SC, and Foxy! I'm sure I'll be asking for your help a lot soon... *Snicker*

Thanks, Cat. You know... it really is nice to hear that, especially considering that I value your opinions a great deal. I visited another forum for baby-related stuff yesterday and was mentioning my concerns about making it work... I found that most of those people were incredibly catty and negative. "If you're at all worried about making it work, you shouldn't be having a kid. Period." kinda thing. It was so very uncurious and uninformed... and just harsh. Eesh. Not to mention name-calling! Not a place I wanna be, that's for sure.

I'm glad to be back here and hearing from you again. :] Your support really helps.

LOL.

Well, I suppose you could cheer if you wanted, but yeah, that might be a tad awkward.

But really... I'm glad! I'm going to have tons of questions, and I know it's all going to come from anxiety... so who better to talk to than my HW buddies, who mostly are moms already?

I'm going to see the doc next Wednesday to talk to her about all this stuff and see what she has to say. I'm kinda nervous about that. My last pap (and ultrasound--long story) was normal, but then... we weren't really looking for conception purposes, so I don't know if that would be different. And the fact that I'm irregular and the fact that I am still somewhat overweight... bah. But I'm still losing weight, fortunately. I eat on pretty much a diabetic-friendly diet, so I'm not that concerned with blood pressure and gestational diabetes, since I've been controlling my levels very well. And I've been irregular since I was thin, too, so who knows...? I just hope I won't hear something like, "Well, it's probably not a good idea..." or "It's probably not possible." Gah.

Thanks, Kitt. Wonderful to hear from you, as always.

Yeah, I've got some time to prepare for it with my doctor--we've decided to officially start trying in January, taking the time in between to really get our affairs in the best order we can. I'm very eager. I'm sure I'll be more anxious once I see that positive test, but for now... I'm mostly just excited, and a little nervous about what the doctor will tell me about my fertility/ability to carry (right now it's been about 6-7 weeks since my last cycle, but two tests showed negative for pregnancy--not unusual for me, unfortunately). Other than that... I'm focusing on the positive. :) Expect the worst, but hope for the best kinda thing. I know we'll be good parents, especially after ten years of marriage in which we've really developed ourselves and gotten on the same page as far as how we'll raise our kids. Not to mention all the personal growth with CBT, and just taking a lot of time to get to the bottom of all of our issues and work through them. It seems as good a time as ever.

My husband has decided to start nursing school in the next month or so, as well. It'll put a strain on things, but he'll probably be able to get financial aid, and hey... who wouldn't want someone medically trained in the house? You'd know, I'm sure. :)

*Rejects said gentle hug and goes for the big, bear hug*

:D

Risa