I just wanted to post to get some advice, opinions and suggestions. Sometimes I think that those of us with anxiety over-think everything so much that it's hard to get a clear picture of what's actually going on.
First of all I just recently started to see a therapist who is certified in CBT. All the therapists I've seen prior to this have really been a waste of time and money so I have high hopes for this new lady and for myself as well.
Anyway, I had my son at the age of 18 and have stayed with his father for the past 11 years. We got married when our son was 16 months old and our already hectic life got even more hectic. We were still living with my parents at this time while my husband finished up college and applied for jobs. He was extremely fortunate and landed an amazing amazing job that has afforded me to be a stay at home Mom, however it does require a fair amount of travel which can be a strain on our relationship at times.
Fast forward and we bought our own house about
10 minutes from both of our families and continue to have a lot of support from both sides, but especially my side of the family. I don't know what I'd do without them! Moving was very stressful for me because I had literally never ever lived away from home, I never had to cook, do laundry, take care of anything on my own. My Mom did it all for me. Then when our son started kindergarten he HATED it!! Because I was a stay at home Mom and he never had a babysitter or anything other than family, he had major separation anxiety. Literally I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that he cried so hard he threw up every single day from September through April. It was so hard for me and I was a nervous wreck. That's when I noticed my heart palpitations and anxiety acting up more than they had before. It settled down a little over the summer and then when school started the next year he was the same way for the most part and my stress levels were back up. I always volunteered a lot in the school and classroom so I could be with my son as much as possible and help him to transition easier. By second grade he was doing a lot better. Third grade was this year and he did great except for a few bumps in the road here and there. He's a straight A student and great athlete...we are very proud of him
At the end of his second grade year though I took a long term sub job as a primary learning support teacher in an elementary school. about
a month into it even though I was on Pristiq at the time, my heart palpitations went CRAZY!!! I've never had palpitations that bad before. Ever. They were so scary and lasted for months off and on being pretty awful. If I was on an anti depressant med and they were anxiety induced, shouldn't the Pristiq have helped me from getting them instead of letting them go wild? Also, Xanax never seems to do much to calm them either.
What I didn't put in my above post is that during this time my husband and I were going through some pretty difficult things in our marriage which had been stressing me out for about
4 years to varying degrees at different times. It was a lot to handle and deal with. My Dad also had some health issues and my Grandfather had been in and out of the hospital. My husband had surgery for an injury and then my Grandmother fell, broke her hip, developed congestive heart failure and unfortunately passed away this past October. My Dad has had some additional health issues, my Mom who is my very best friend was diagnosed with a rare form of kidney disease and is now on heavy doses of Prednisone and chemotherapy to hopefully put her into remission. This is the Reader's Digest condensed version of this whole story also...
I've had multiple appointments with cardiologists and my primary care physician and they all are sure my palpitations are due to continual stress. I've had Stress Echo's as recent as April, Event Loop Recorders, Holter Monitors, EKG's and am now considering an EP Study to rule out anything else. I just don't know if I want to go through that testing. They tell me that my PVC's are benign and not to worry about
them.
What the main point of my post is, why did my palpitations start up so suddenly and I can go for weeks or months with hardly any issues with them even though my anxiety levels are always pretty much the same and then all of a sudden I have weeks and months where I feel terrible with them and then my anxiety is even more through the roof because I'm terrified of the feelings they produce. It's so confusing and I'm always waiting for them to start back up again because I hate them so much and am so fearful of them. Help please and I'm so sorry my post was so long. Thanks to those of you who will read it and respond