Can't feel "happy"?

I attended a few outdoor events with my friend and I had a great time when I was there, but after I returned, I was so tense, jittery, and panicky. I felt like I would never be able to go out again. :( I can't seem to allow myself to have fun. I've been feeling so depressed and anxious for so long, I guess my mind and body has just gotten used to it. I feel uncomfortable feeling "happy" and "positive". Do you guys experience this too? I don't know how to explain this. It has happened when I was at parties too. I feel left out...and can't seem to connect with anyone or the whole event.

Would love to hear from others who have experienced this.

Thank you.

Ive also felt like this. Its not nice,

My knee jerk reaction to social events became to avoid them so youre doing really well if you can actually get out there and enjoy the moment.

I found that i was anxious people would see through me. I agree with Scaredy Cat The pressure to "act" happy is really stressful. The inability to connect and feeling left out is all part and parcel of depression & anxiety i would say, i excluded myself from a lot of things events & people because i didnt think i was worth being around or that people would want to be around me (i dont even want to be around me when im feeling the way i do!) But why else would i get invited to things? I may not want to "connect" to my friends/family but they want to connect with me. and thats an encouraging thought, there will always be someone there for me. And im sure you have people around you that do as well. :)

I cant really offer any advice on how to cope better as i dont do so well myself! but ive got hope.

Thanks all! I appreciate your replies.

My problem is not that I am anxious around people. I love people. I truly want to make new friends and socialize. There is this one part of me that is dead and will not be revived. I know what might have caused it. One traumatic incident in my life. But I can't live in the past. I must move on so I am trying. It's just hard...even after all these years. It's been about 9 yrs after that incident. But it has left a massive scar in me and my life. When I was at one party, one guy walked up to me and said, "Well you look like you aren't having fun at all". LOL Yeah, thank for reminding me. *rollying eyes*. I am willing to connect with everyone, but I just can't. And therefore I try too hard to fit in and have fun...which is probably why I am exhausted afterwards.

I guess we all need time to heal...it may take longer we think.

melodee,

I know this feeling way to well and until about 6 1/2 years ago I handled my anxiety/depression well.  Since my major melt down I fight to break through the sadness and when  things are better then down I go again. I now find it very hard to pretend like I feel happy and excited to be in the middle of a crowd, whether it be with relatives or even just an event.

I suspect part of the reason is I feel   so disappointmented in myself for not being able to feel happy that I keep wondering what is wrong with me?  That of course leads to beating myself up for being weak and useless and on it goes. 

I know it is my own mind playing tricks on me as I am safe, normal and really do love people but I need to build up my self-esteem everytime I fall down.   Life throws challenges to deepen us and make us more mature. Learning  to accept whatever arises unconditionally and face it as calmly as possible without the over involvement of thoughts will help us make it through. 

Try to relax as much as you can, rest your mind, don’t over-analyze the situation and just let go till the emotions passes away. The more you surrender the faster the emotions will pass away, the more you resist the longer it stays.

I am right beside you, my friend.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt