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Fear of vomiting (plus anxiety). Come here to feel normal.

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Posted 9/15/2012 12:27 AM (GMT 0)
I went to bed all shakey and have just woken all shaky and feeling sick. I hate this, this is what I dread that most-the nighttime part. It's 01:30am and it's awful.
Posted 9/15/2012 3:47 AM (GMT 0)
sgm,

We are in different times zones of course...so hopefully you are asleep now...but I hope that you wake up calm and feeling better tomorrow!

Let us know how you are feeling later, okay?

S.C.
Posted 9/15/2012 9:15 AM (GMT 0)
Hey, thanks for posting.

I fell asleep around 3am (Sat on the PC for around 45 minutes), I didn't feel extremely sick but I swear I have 'gerd' as it's usually relieved by belching (which is hard to do laying down so I have to sort of wait until I feel relieved).

As I type this I do feel very tired but I did get around 5 hours sleep I think. I woke up this morning a bit shaky but for some reason I feel cold all the time which really doesn't help.

Anyway, that's just a little update. Hopefully the rest of the day will be better
Posted 9/15/2012 11:05 AM (GMT 0)
I thi k we've all been there where a thought has triggered an attack. I used to have an irrational fear of fainting and that single thought would set me off. I just had to tell myself if i DID faint it probably wpuldnt be as bad as i thought and anyways whats the chances im gonna faint anyways? Just keep tellin urself if u are sick it WONT do u any real harm, puking is natural amd clears ur body of infection/viruses and crap that shouldnt be there
Posted 9/15/2012 4:11 PM (GMT 0)
With me (and most of us) it is all to do with the mind and I fully accept that but I find sometimes it's easier to "switch off" from 'the thoughts' than other times.

I don't think being sick is what scares me, it's just some of the situations to do with it that i've been in in the past (recently too). For example I was up all night back in July feeling sick (shaking, feeling borderline dead tbh) and the thought of going through that again scares me.
Posted 9/16/2012 5:36 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Sgm, I am really sorry you are going through all this. I have had anxiety in the past and so has my daughter who got so bad she became school phobic. I am happy to say she although she still struggles sometimes, is much better and does go to school again now (only one more year to go!).

She has a similar fear of being sick and/or fainting. She was convinced she would do this at school, the humiliation would be too much for her and it was this 'prophecising' (I am going to be sick!!) that caused her phobia and got her avoiding school. She felt safer at home.

What has helped her is Cognitive behavioural Therapy. This is usually with a psychologist and you can get it through your GP. The waiting list may be long so the alternative is a private psychologist (or a counsellor who is experienced in CBT) but of course, this costs.

CBT will look at your negative thoughts and beliefs. For instance, when you feel anxious you will most likely be thinking stuff like "Oh no, here it comes again, I can't cope!" or "suppose I am sick, that would be terrible" or "I am going to faint, how embarrassing, I simply can't!!"

These thoughts make us feel physically ill as the brain tells our body to react to the fear, the famous 'fight or flight' symptoms. CBT will teach you to calm yourself down the minute you start to feel anxious, so that you are not overwhelmed. It will teach you that you are extremely unlikely to faint, and if you did, what would happen? Someone would scoop you up, you would sit and recover and then be on your way. Not ideal I know but not the end of the world. CBT will help you put things into perspective and therefore lessen the fear.

I note you are worried about talking to someone, this is understandable. I am a counsellor and people come to see me and say they have had my number for six months and were too afraid to call. After a session or two they feel really comfortable and wondered why it took them so long! You may need to 'try out' a few therapists, just have a few initial sessions with different ones until you find one that you like. I know it is hard to talk but there is help for you, anxiety is very common and you will get better but you must get help and not suffer on your own.

Also, your GP could prescribe you Citalopram, an anti-depressant that is good for anxiety and panic. I was on it once (a low dose) and it took my anxiety away and I led a normal life. It broke the cycle of panic and made me feel myself again. I know it may not be brilliant for everybody but it helped me and a lot of people I know.

Keep posting and let us know how you are,

Poppy

Posted 9/18/2012 5:47 PM (GMT 0)
Poppy, thank you so much for your post, it means a lot that you (and others) care/take interest.

I am 100% not against councelling or talking to someone however I believe this is not the root of my problem (i.e. keeping it inside which makes it worse, this is not the case). I have told my mum when i've been extremely nervous (nervous over nothing at all I may add) but generally "just get on with it". For example she doesn't know that these past few weeks i've been feleing nervous/ill with the anxiety. This may also sound odd but quite frankly because of how frequent these "feelings" are, i'd be telling her every 5 minutes! Lol I suppose there is a funny side to all situations.

I'll be honest though, these past 3/4 weeks have been the worst i've ever had it. The simple reason being i've been indoors (mainly) and to feel nervous about nothing being in your own home makes you think what will i be like outside.

Anyway, the sick phobia thing is very grueling as it's on my mind nearly all the time. I get myself into such a panic but I know that. It's not something i'm in denial of. One thing that helped slightly (and only slightly) was to keep telling myself "I'm not unwell (i.e. with a stomach bug etc), so why would i be sick?"...which sort of helps and makes me feel more "normal".

But thanks again poppy for that post, it does help :)
Posted 9/23/2012 8:44 AM (GMT 0)
This week has been quite good (or 'steady' in terms of nerves and the thoughts triggering feeling sick/nausea). However this weekend I have felt a bit 'rough'. It mainly started last night. I swear I have gerd as I need to constantly belch all the time (that then gives me relief and takes away feeling sick) however I couldn't and I started to panic. I then was okay and when in bed started shivering and became very cold (I seem to become cold when nervous).

So i've sort of woken up this morning feeling a bit groggy and meh. However I am fine and it's nothing compared to previous times.
Posted 9/23/2012 2:39 PM (GMT 0)
Anxiety can cause one to 'gulp' air in an unconscious way.  Often we are not breathing properly, in a slow and steady rhythm, and the air can get trapped in the stomach, causing bloating.

Try to focus on your breathing if you think that this might be an issue that is adding to your problem.

I hope that you continue to feel better in general this week.:)

S.C.
Posted 9/23/2012 3:08 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks :)

Before (3/4 years ago) general anxiety would occur in certain situations i.e. (at the time) getting nervous for going to school/sixth form/college (then being fine once there) but this past year it has crept in as a life change. I.e. feeling nervous/anxious (and nauseous) at home over absolutely nothing.

The physical impact is huge. I.e. all the stuff that goes with it. Just lately my eyes seem to feel strained and that is unpleasant too.
Posted 9/24/2012 4:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi again sgm.  Please go to the docs, you really will benefit from CBT therapy for your sickness phobia and it will probably have a big impact on your life. Don't delay anymore, take control and go to the docs and tell him/her exactly how you have been feeling. Fear of vomiting is quite a common anxiety disorder.

As I mentioned before, my daughter suffers from this and was school phobic as she feared throwing up at school. She is now back at school and is fine - thanks to 10 sessions of CBT therapy with a psychologist who was lovely (and rather handsome!!).

Make that appointment!

Poppy x

Posted 9/24/2012 4:40 PM (GMT 0)
Hi poppygirl:)

I am so glad to hear that your daughter is doing better...this is the greatest news! Thanks for the update, and for staying on here with us to encourage others!:)

S.C.
Posted 9/25/2012 11:27 AM (GMT 0)
This is just a little update (I know many won't read this but for those who do, thanks!).

Today I decided to go to the tesco (on my own). Funnily enough I don't get TOO freaked out about going out alone (I quite like walking alone as it can be peaceful). Anyway as my mum has a cold I thought i'd help by getting a few bits for her at tesco (shopping store for international viewers! lol). I was absolutely fine walking there and when I was in there I was fine. But when it came to going to a checkout (a self service checkout) I totally freaked out (in my head of course).

I got to the self service checkout (after about 5 minutes of heavy breathing, feeling sweaty and getting blurred vision-oh and of course feeling slightly sick). When I got to it I started to panic so took the basket and went back into the store (pretending i'd forgotten something-so it didn't look like I was freaking out). After another 5 minutes I realised I HAD to get the items I came for (and that I didn't want the anxiety to beat me by just leaving the store).

So I called a friend who seems to have a very calming influence, so whilst I was paying on the self service I had my friend on the phone (just talking about random stuff). But I couldn't wait to get out of there. I felt very shaky and embraced the fresh air once outside. It wasn't pleasant. I don't usually get this when i'm with someone.

Anyway, i'm home and feel better than I did but it's so odd how quickly it can overcome you.
Posted 9/25/2012 2:23 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry that you had a rough time of it on your shopping trip, but...

You still did it!!! You should feel really good about yourself. First of all you were doing a good thing for your mom, and that is great that you would try to get outside of your own fears and go alone to the store for her, well done!

Secondly, you made it there, and while you did encounter some panic, you stuck it out and finished the job! You used some coping mechanisms along the way which is great and just what you needed to do.

I would consider this a victory.:) Even though you had a bit of a tough time, you still did it...and next time you can remember that even though it was a bit difficult, you made it through, and can do it again!

High fives my friend.:)

S.C.
Posted 9/25/2012 3:19 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks scaredy cat! :)

I did think that too...i.e. atleast I did it. Although I will say the whole paying/exiting the store was not very pleasant because at that point I felt incredibly faint and lightheaded (just the thought of getting out of there was keeping me going).

It's quite hard really because you sort of have to act all the time. For example, I tried to look "normal" when taking the basket back into the store because I physically couldn't pay for it at that time. However when I went back (and this time on the phone) I still felt awful but coped slightly different than before.

Oh well! :D
Posted 9/25/2012 6:51 PM (GMT 0)
Hi sgm, I used to get panic attacks in Sainsburys, always at the checkout! And as you say, they came on so suddenly and seemingly out of the blue. I too, remember trying to act 'normal' with my heart pounding out of my chest and feeling light-headed and sick. I think there was something for me about being 'trapped' at the checkout - you are in a queue and it would look odd if you suddenly put your basket down and ran off. There was also something about 'I am nearly there, I've nearly made it' as the checkout is the last thing to do before you are 'free'.

The thing that helped me was going on medication (yes, I know I bang on about meds and docs but it all worked for me!) which just seemed to break the cycle. I felt so much calmer. Also, I used to say to myself "I am doing this to myself, there is no danger" and that seemed to help too.

As SC says, you did really well though! I would go to Tesco again as soon as possible to practice again, don't lose momentum!

Poppy x

SC - thank you for your good wishes. I cannot quite believe my daughter is better after all these months but she does seem to be!

Posted 9/25/2012 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Poppy.

I really would like some medication to ease the overpowering feelings that can randomly occur when in public. The thing is I am slightly worried (or hesitant rather) to specifically say this to my GP because it is known to be the "easy way out" (i.e cut out the middle man and jump straight to medication). But (and I would say this too the doctor too) I feel that this past year it has taken over my health physically, not just mentally. So it's now causing physical side effects which surely must be worth some light medication atleast.

I know nothing about medication for anxiety because i've never had any (only went to the doctor about anxiety once and never went again, my fault I know).
Posted 9/25/2012 8:16 PM (GMT 0)
Don't worry about asking the doctor for medication - you won't get it unless he/she thinks you need it. All you need to do is go in, say you have been suffering from extreme anxiety and panic and it is taking over your life. Say you have been struggling to deal with it yourself but you now feel it is taking its toll on your physical health. See what the doctor says. There are two meds that are generally used for anxiety/panic disorder, the first is an anti-depressant called Citalopram. This is good for depression but works really well for anxiety. They will start you off on a small dose, say, 10mg once a day and then after two weeks probably put you on 20mg. 20mg is still a very small dose so don't worry about being drugged up to the eyeballs. Everyone is different but usually the side effects are minimal (more tired, dry mouth at first) but these are nothing compared with feeling anxiety and panic every day.

The other one is Diazepam (valium). This is only to be used sparingly as it is addictive (anti depressants are not addictive as you do not need to take more and more to get the same effect). When I had panic attacks the doctor prescribed me 14 tablets and I used to save them for when I felt really bad. They are tranquilisers so they calm your nervous system down but they make you very drowsy. Good in a crisis but not to be taken every day really. The doctor can advise you. He/she will probably also want to refer you for therapy for the panic so go for it - it is nothing to be frightened of, honest!

Also, why shouldn't you go for the 'easy way out'? You don't need to prove your 'strength' to anybody (or yourself!). No-one has to know you are taking meds and you won't be on them forever. If you had a broken leg you would not hesitate in getting it fixed, you wouldn't limp around in pain trying to prove how strong you were would you? This is no different! Be kind to yourself:)

Poppy x

Posted 9/28/2012 5:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hope all are well.

As I type this I have just had a "mini" attack (not an actual attack but a sort of panic saga). I have a cold (not too bad but a cold nonetheless) and kept thinking "oh what if it turns into something worse" when in reality I know it won't (hopefully). So I took a paracetamol because I felt groggy and in my mind that told me that by doing so, i'd feel better. But because I felt so anxious it felt stuck in my throat for about 5-10 minutes which wasn't nice.

Anyway at present I feel calmer thankfully. Hope all are well.

This week for me has been relatively okay (nerves wise), but hope everyone else has been okay too :)
Posted 9/29/2012 8:23 AM (GMT 0)
hi sgm,
i do understand how you feel about these things. That happened to me for several months. So far what i've been doing for myself as a treatment is stop " fighting fire with fire ". The fear of anxiety is proven as something worsen the symptoms and disorders. Lets dig deeper about having this " unexpected friend ". I think this friend just want to remind us the meaning of being a 'normal human' which is we can get ill or live with ongoing process of healing. ;-) perfect humans are those who imperfect, i wish you the best by understanding this simple accurate reality of life. We can overcome it and still go along with it without giving it power to control our lives. And btw the path of healing could be one of the most wonderful journey.

:-)
Posted 9/29/2012 7:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hate to say it but as I type this I am "under attack". I feel sick and slightly shakey. Who knows what the night holds but it's worrying :(
Posted 9/30/2012 3:22 AM (GMT 0)
I hope that you are able to shake off the panic that it trying to get at you.

Remeber to breath, relax your body and mind, and try to shift your focus away to a calm place of thinking in the positive.

You have made it through this before, and can do it again.

We are all here to support you and cheer you on...you are not alone...we have been there and understand.

You will be allright!:)

S.C.
Posted 9/30/2012 6:47 AM (GMT 0)
sgm, I just want you to know that I totally relate to what you're going through. I also have an intense fear of throwing up, and I'm not sure why exactly. I bother so many of my friends and family by obsessing over it though, and I constantly ask them what it feels like to throw up, or if it's just like gagging only with "stuff" coming out. My fear is so out of control that it effects what I eat, like I'm afraid to eat at fast food places because I'm terrified of getting food poisoning. Also at disneyland I'm afraid to go on some of the faster rides because I'm scared of getting motion sickness. I haven't eaten a burger in years and I've been wanting a cheeseburger from McDonald's but if I were to get one I would spend the next few hours being afraid of getting sick.

Oppsie, I think I started rambling. Haha, sorry about that! I have panic attacks too, which will usually start if I begin to feel a little sick. I used to be terrifed of going to public places because I thought I would throw up and then people would get mad at me. Medication really helped me a lot. I actually just had to email my doctor and tell him I was having anxiety and he prescribed me an antidepressant to help take away the panic attacks. Later I was able to see a psychiatrist and I got put on medication for general anxiety as well. I don't see it as taking "the easy way out," especially because you might be crippling yourself by not taking medicine. In my situation, I wanted to go to therapy but got nervous leaving the house and talking to people, and medication was able to help me get the point where I could seek the therapy.

I seem to be distracted while writing this, but my whole intent was to let you know that I can relate to what you're going through, and I know you can get through this!
Posted 9/30/2012 7:50 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much for your replies everyone. It means a lot. I think i'm going to have to go to the doctor at some point because I don't think I can conquer it alone.

Last night was awful (though not the worse). I was up all night feeling sick (taking antacids occasionally) then trying to sleep then being woke up by the feeling. It's all in my head I know. I went to sleep about 6am and woke up at around 7 30am. I'm very tired and feel low and emotional. My stomach also feels 'sore' too.

The "up all night" thing was something I had been dreading as I had this around 8/9 weeks ago and found it awful (being dead quiet at night too doesn't help). But what's done is done.

EDIT: Just to add, I told my mum that I was up feeling nervous and she said "it's anxiety". To which I replied I suppose that makes more sense as I was more anxious (though shaky) not actually nervous (maybe nervous about the fear of vomiting but it's hard to define). I do limit what I say to her (and anyone, if at all) but every now and then I do tell her little things like this.

Post Edited (sgm) : 9/30/2012 3:20:54 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/30/2012 9:48 AM (GMT 0)
It sounds like you're already doing this, but recognizing that you're not actually "sick" and that it is all psychological should help you relax more. Just keep reminding yourself, "There's nothing physiologically wrong with me; it's all psychological. Mind over matter. I can get past this." I know it's not as simple as it sounds, but you can do it. :)

And that's really good that you are deciding to see a doctor. Please keep updating so everyone can see how you're doing and offer encouragement!
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