Posted 9/26/2012 12:10 AM (GMT 0)
Hi. I will explain why being busy or distracted helps, in order to help you understand what to do next. When you are busy, your attention is on the thing you are busying yourself with. The fact that your attention is on something brings you some relaxation and peace. Attention brings peace, and humans are meant to place their attention onto things. The problem is that there inevitably comes a time when distraction doesn't work because the thoughts have become too overpowering, too easy to get lost in, and you can't find focus. In that case, when you are not busy, you are becoming entangled or trapped in your mind. So being busy is a tactic that many people use to avoid anxiety.
I will give you something to try other than distraction. The next time you see an anxious thought or feeling arise in you, make it your goal to study it, like a curious child. Don't try to make it go away. Resist the temptation to run from it or fight it. Instead, say to yourself something like "It is my goal to watch this thought and see what it is." Ask yourself, "What is the thought? how long has it been there? how does it cause pain?"
Do not try to stop the thought or criticize yourself, and try not to judge or condemn yourself in any way. Don't call anything good or bad, or say should or shouldn't, rather simply watch the thoughts. Take a few minutes, sit down, and watch the thought. It is a calm, simple process. The idea is not to watch the thought forever. If a new thought arises, watch that thought as well. Instead, just try to notice the thought, mentally tag it, see it for what it is without pushing it or fighting it, and move on. The goal is to just simply watch, as if you were looking at a sunset. When we do this for a little while, something amazing happens: we see that we are not the same thing as the mind, and the thought begins to dissolve. Try it.
God bless you,
Dan