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I need some support , I am tired of OCD / Anxiety!!

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Posted 9/27/2012 6:36 AM (GMT 0)
For more than 1 month my anxiety Ocd came back full force. I am now in cymbalta, i feel a little better panic attack wise. My ocd is bad , but I control it I have a Harm/going crazy pure OCD, but lately everything scares me !!! germ contamination OCD, is like as soon as I get ok with harm ocd i get scared of something else. Anyway I have nausea, nervousness in the morning and since the last 2 days I been feeling sentimentally weird like I am very irritable , and sad and sometimes high !!while Lexapro I felt the same but in a much worse amount the whole day I was high anxious and panic attacks. I told my doctor and he told me that being high can mean that i am bipolar, but i told him it made no sense, because in all my 23 years of life this is the first i feel something like that, and no one ever even notices i am anxious if i didn't say it not even my family could notice, plus I kind of think bipolar disorder involves more than feeling high sad or happy when one is in meds I have never had long periods of depression or something like that and I never change modes or anything. Anyway I think the reason of why I feel this way is because I am tired that i cant get my anxiety under control. Today I just felt sad , like I just feel like WHY ME!!why I have this !! Why I cant just be normal and not fear things out of nothing. I feel like i am an hadicap person, would I ever be normal ? Be a normal mom? A normal wife? I just feel like I don't deserve this, I am sick and tired of having anxiety! I just wish i was like always normal, I have been having anxiety since I was 8 years old, but it went away for years. I just wish I could stop having panic attacks !! I cried today and its I feel so annoyed and tired. I am never giving up i will do anything it takes to feel better and to control my anxiety, but i feel I need support and I need to know everything will be ok, I feel weird like uneasy and annoyed . I want to feel calm and with my doctor telling me about being bipolar puts my ocd even more up ;(!! I don't know if it's the medicine but i feel really weird , like anxious, nervous and uneasy !! plus tons of nausea and headache.

Thank you for your help I just really need support and someone to listen to me.
Does anyone had any success for anxiety OCD, I have tried zoloft, lexapro and it kind of worked for 1 year and now cymbalta ? I took clonopin and it makes me sad and puts me to sleep :(

Thank you for listening
Posted 9/27/2012 6:38 AM (GMT 0)
by the way I been taking cymbalta for 3 weeks , it helped with panic but i feel nervous and really weird !! is this ok or should I change medicine ?
Posted 9/27/2012 11:58 AM (GMT 0)
I have anxiety/panic and OCD, but my symptoms are a bit different from yours. I only take Buspar for my anxiety..really no treatment for my OCD....I just try to manage it myself. I know that sometimes it feels like you are so completely out of control and that you'll never be normal again. I've been there, but it did get better over time. There are so many helpful resources here. I think that you should definitely check them out on the "resources" tab. In regards to your meds...that is something you need to discuss with your doctor. I hope that things start going your way very soon. Continue to post, it really does help talking to others who understand what you are going through.
Posted 9/27/2012 1:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lunakg1,

I am sorry that you are going through this. I know how you feel. I have battled anxiety, ocd, and depression for as long as I can remember and I am turning 21 soon. What you described does not sound like bi polar disorder in the least. Those highs and lows seem like they are common with anxiety, but you would have many other symptoms and mood swings would be incredibly drastic. For some reason all the medicines I have tried have made my symptoms worse, so I try to stay away from medicine. But apparently when you find the one that agrees with you its like a miracle. With your ocd the best way to beat it is to just do the opposite of what it wants you to do. For example, I used to wash my hands to the point where they would bleed. What i did was make rules that I could only wash my hands before I ate, after a lab (I am a science major so i deal with those quite a bit) and after i used the restroom. It was one of the toughest things to do because i would fear getting sick or that something bad would happen if I didn't wash them. I did this when I was 13 and can keep that part of my ocd under control. I still fight through nervous/ocd thoughts from the time i wake up til the time i go to sleep. Another good thing to do is talk about it with someone you trust. I have been trying this and it actually helps a ton. My anxiety/ocd has been the worst its been in a while. The one thing you have to remember is that a thought is only a thought... nothing more. I am working on this myself, but when you let the thoughts take over that is when everything goes to crap (pardon my language). Try focusing on something else. Pick an object in a room and just focus on that. Or just realize the thought is there, analyze it, consider whether it is worth worrying about or not, and start to think of something pleasant. Whatever you do don't give up hope and don't let those thoughts and anxieties make you who you are. That is the mistake I made once before and it sucked. It will get better and the feelings do pass even though when your in the moment it does not seem that way. If you continue trying and seeking help it will become manageable and hopefully gone. I am fighting the worst anxiety I've had in a long time and the advice i gave you is what the people I talk to have given me. All is easier said than done, but if you want your life back under your control these are necessary things to do. You have to dig deep and find something in your life that motivates you to wanna get better. Im seeking help because of my family, girlfriend, and the fact that this has run my life for way too long. When you decide you want something bad enough and are willing to fight for it no matter what the cost, nothing can stop you. I apologize for talking about myself so much in this; I just thought examples might help. Hang in there and do not quit!
Posted 9/27/2012 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much!! Well i try to not do anything that my Ocd asks me to do !! i try to just think of something else. I have always had OCD but when my anxiety is low it does nothing to me, i just think of something else or i dont even get worried about it. Right now my anxiety is high and whatever it is it causes me to feel bad. I am going to my doctor to see if I should keep taking this pill :/!
Actually when I hear about the lives of other ones with OCD, it helps because I dont feel alone so please share anything , and thank you for listening !!
Posted 9/27/2012 3:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hello there, I just felt the same way as you with my anxiety last night...why me? Why cant I be normal again? And I know its the total opposite of what I am supposed to do ..but its hard i mean i have been on therapy for almost two years along with medication i successfully overcame the anxiety one year went off meds two months and it hit again really bad... Now its been 7 months and it just feels worse every day.,,i take effexor 37.5...and what I can say I also need to know I am not alone...and that we are decided to pvercome it
Posted 9/27/2012 7:46 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you :(!!! I do the opposite but still somehow anxiety attacks me, believe me i know what you mean sometimes i just want to like scream !!! I am so tired of anxiety , I love my life and my family and fiance, I hate having this i just feel I don't deserve it. The doctor said I should try first going to 60 mg of cymbalta then if it doesnt work at all for a week just call the medicine off and he wants to have me on welbutrin. What do you think ?? I really don't know if i should take the 60 :/ . has anyone taken wellbutrin ?
Posted 9/27/2012 11:06 PM (GMT 0)
Lunakg1, no problem. i want to help people as well as receive help from others. I have struggled with this long enough and i dont want it ruining my life anymore. Its a shame that it is so hard for people who are affected by this to get help.
Posted 9/30/2012 3:56 AM (GMT 0)
Lunakg what do u mean when u say: " but when you let the thoughts take over that is when everything goes to crap"
Posted 9/30/2012 5:43 AM (GMT 0)
Hi- I too have been diagnosed with OCD.. for years I've been nervous etc.Been taking rivotril for longer then I can remember. I was visiting a skin doctor and for no reason blurted out about my obsessions to which she asked " do you want to be like this forever?" of course I said no... so one thing led to another and I finally was sent for evaluation. I've been seeing a psych nurse every 2 weeks who listens to what's up with me, she retired lately, so now I see a psychologist every 2 weeks.

I was evaluated though by a psychiatrist a month ago, and she said I was to not take rivotril, that it's bad for me. So was given a drug called selexa to be taken at bedtime along with 1 rivotril for 1 week,then 2nd week to cut the rivotril in 1/2 along with the selexa and then finally stop the rivotril completely. The selexa is suppose to help with the OCD. As yet I haven't filled that perscription, as I'm scared of taking selexa to be quite frank. But the days going to come when I won't have anymore rivotril and then what?

My obsessions... well I check over and over the stove.Yet if my hubby is home I can leave and not check it at all. He takes 4 different kinds of meds mostly for blood pressure,and I take 3 meds for various issues..and I check his pills as well as mine.. by check I mean,count them over and over and stay up way past 3am because I know in order to go off to bed, I have to do my ritual of pill checking before I do! SO of course I stay up later and later simply because I'm tired of the checking yet afraid not to. It's like a mixed bag. If I wouldn't check our meds, I'd feel perhaps I took more then I should have (mine and/or his) yet why would I do that since I love life and fear dying? So as you can see I'm of 2 minds.

Perhaps I should fill the selexa perscription and see how they affect me, hopefully make the OCD better or go away.

Thoughts anyone?
Posted 9/30/2012 2:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi looneytunes and welcome!

I am sorry to hear of your trouble. It is hard I am sure to have so many changes recently, from your meds to your doctor, and it is understandable that you would be nervous about a Rx change.

However, I think that your current doctor is wise to suggest that you try the Celexa. The Rivotril is a benzpdiazapine, and therefore has a possible dependency issue. With the Celexa, you will avoid that, and (hopefully) still get the benefit for treating the OCD behaviors and the anxiety.

It is great that you are doing the therapy. This should absolutely help in giving you the tools to deal with the issues that you need to in order to feel better. Keep at it...it's hard work, and takes time, but so worth it!:)

Keep posting with us as well. We are here to listen and support. Feel free to start a thread of introduction for yourself if you feel comfortable doing so.;)

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat
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