im new here just need someone to listen.

Hello and welcome.

I am sorry that you are dealing with this dilemma right now. There are certainly pros and cons to both situations, and I can imagine how divided and frustrated you must feel.

Have you considered talking to your doctor about a different medication? There may be one that gives you the relief from anxiety, but without the emotional numbing effect. Sometimes it takes a few tries to get the right Rx for yourself.

Another thing to consider would be therapy. I went through two rounds of CBT to help me gain recovery for my panic disorder and health anxiety. Many other members here have also done this and other forms of therapy with success.

We also have a great Resource Guide here on our main page (1st post) that has a bunch of great self-help ideas that you may find useful.:)

Keep posting here with us as well. We understand and are here to listen and be in support to each other! Looking forward to getting to know you better.:)

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat

Hi notimeforfear, I totally understand where you're coming from in terms of the guilt as a mother suffering from anxiety/hypochondria...I too suffer fro anxiety and I think most of us who do have P/A also have hypochrondriaism or else we would be anxious free about all of our bodily manifestations! I recently had a baby 7 months ago and have post partum which has really done a crazy job with my anxiety, and as of late I have incredible pain in my left arm, left shoulder and left elbow wrist, you name it...Ive been obsessing about it! It's awful because I feel like the "average" mom would just write it off as symptoms from holding a 25lb baby (7months mind you) most of the day, or nursing the baby all day or because of gestational carpal tunnel, etc...but me, no way, it's an impending heart attack!!! At least that's what I think, and somehow I feel like everyone thinks just because I used to be an athlete, I'm still fairly young (34) and eat pretty healthy that it couldn't be that. Anyway, I went to a women's conference at my church this past weekend and learned something interesting that the opposite of fear is not courage, it's PEACE! But how do we get that peace!! It's a behavior of believing and having faith, not in what we are feeling but in what the outcome we want. I've learned over the past years of battling with panic disorder, agoraphobia, and hypochondria since I was 8 hrs old that we struggle to speak life into existence especially into our situations when our bodily manifestations present other than life. So we are constantly robbing ourselves of the life we were given to live to the fullest because our behavior of believing is not life but death. Trust me when I say I understand because right now every time I hold my baby I feel soooo selfish for robbing her of her mommy this past summer when my post partum anxiety was at it's peak. But more and more I realize how I speak more death than life into my home and my life and my children's life, so it's a daily choice battle with my thoughts and actions, to believe and behave as if I have peace and life or the opposite, fear and death!!! If you look up this author Deborah Pegues she wrote over 30 books, very small and to the point, and one she wrote to help herself get over her fear and anxiety especially since she had it bad when it came to flying. I believe the book is called 30 days to Taming your fears, awesome book, and her Supreme Peace book is a great read as well, both very small and quick, which is good for us busy mommies!!!! I hope this serves as an encouragement that you're not alone in your FEELINGS, in your THOUGHTS, in your ACTIONS, and in your quest for healing, may you feel loved and celebrated and know that your kids love ALL of you!!!! Many blessings to you!!!

hello,
CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
There's also some other ways that could be helpful such as EFT ( Emotional Freedom Technique ) and holistic healing.
;-) every person and situation is unique therefor it is possible that one kind of healing or recovery which is proven to be working for some people has different effects or results for the others.
And maybe knowing ourselves better could help us to choose which healing/recovery journey we would like to be in. Be in peace with ourselves and we'll discover calmness one that wouldnt be easily broken by fear.

Peace is within you.

This site is amazing!!! Ive never had anyone to talk to who could even remotly understand what it is im going through, and that i dont want to be this person with these fears!! Mommymo34 I had the same thing happen to me with the shoulder and arm pain! it was with my second child so when the doctor told me its because you are carring around the baby and diaper bag, i was like i did the same thing with my first child and didnt have this pain, he said well youre older now and my mind said... nope youre having a heart attack and youre going to die. Turns out he was right because it did go away eventually, but no matter what anyone told me at that moment i couldnt believe anything but i was going to die. im 28 years old and i think its sad that im at the point in my life where im giving up... i think im just so tired of the worry and the fear that i just want to say well if i die then i die im going to stop carring... then i think about my beautiful boys and feel so much guilt for thinking that. i am going to look into the CBT, Im excited to see if it could help, I want to find a way to overcome this myself not just rely on meds, im embarrassed to say this because im not proud of it, but whats the point in looking for support if youre not truthful about all your problems right? so a few months ago i had some dental work done ( which i wouldnt let them put me under because thats on my list of fears) but they gave me some pain meds afterward, i took a few till the pain was gone and then i through them in the cabniet, was after i stopped taking my anxiety pills one night i was having an attack from a lot of pain i was having in my head, so i took one of the pain meds and i realized that not only does it numb the physical pain but it also numbs you a little emothinaly (not as much as the anxirty pills) so ive kinda been taking them alot, so like i said i want to find a way to handle this on my own and stop all this nonsence of trying to hide from it!!!

Thank all of you for taking the time to read my post and effort put into helping a total stranger does not go unnoticed, or unapreciated!!

P.S. im used to having a spell check.. im not the best at spelling sorry guys :/