Really need some reassurance today :(

Hi everyone.

I am new to the forums, though I have been reading posts over the last two weeks, and decided today I would post as well.

I was diagnosed with GAD when I was 16, and re-diagnosed again in my early twenties. I am now 27. I have spent the last 3 years studying towards a Bachelors degree, and just finished last Thursday. My anxiety flared up terribly a few weeks prior to my final exam - it was the worst I have ever experienced it, so bad that I could not even study for my exam. A couple of trips to the doctors left me with a diagnosis of GAD again, as well as sinusitis (which made it incredibly difficult to do the breathing exercises that have helped me get through "attacks" in the past) and the doctor gave me Lorazepam which I have not used - I've not taken medication for my anxiety since I was 16, preferring to deal with it more holistically.

A few days before my exam (Monday), I notice I had developed a "bright" spot in my left eye - it is bright when I blink, but causes a grey blindspot when looking at things - especially the computer, my phone etc. Naturally, I freaked out. I went to bed that night, and decided if it hadn't gone away after a sleep, I would go to the optometrist.

I woke up the next morning, and it was still there, so I headed off to the optometrist to get it checked out. As a glasses wearer (short sighted), I was due for an eye exam anyway. The optometrist checked everything out and declared my eyes healthy - he could not see anything worth worrying about, and my prescription had not changed either. I asked him what he thought the bright spot/blindspot could be, and he seemed to have no idea. I asked whether it could be related to stress (which had brought on my anxiety in the first place) - he said "maybe". I asked whether it could be a long lasting occular migraine - he said "maybe". Then he suggested it might be a floater. Well, it's not a floater. I have floaters, and this is completely different. He said if I was still worried about it, I could come back and see him in 6 months. 6 months! How was I supposed to deal with the fact that I have partial blindness in one eye for 6 months?! I left the clinic feeling relieved that it was nothing serious, but confused and angry that he couldn't actually tell me what it was, or whether it would go away.

It's now a week later, and it is still there. It is making my life horrible. Not a day has gone by in a week where I haven't cried, felt sad, depressed and angry that it is still there. I realize that if it is stress related, it's not going to go away if I am still "stressing" about it, but I am finding it really hard to ignore it. All I want to do is sleep all day, because that is the only time it doesn't bother me :(

I have booked in to see my doctor tomorrow to see what she says - she knows all of my anxiety history, and I am really hoping she might have some idea as to what this is. My birthday is on Friday, and Christmas is coming up and I really don't want to feel like this any longer.

I wonder if anyone else has experienced something like this before? I'm terrified that I'm going to be told it's there forever now, and I just have to learn to deal with it. I don't think I can :(

I have had similar issues with my eyesight. I have glasses (that I don't wear like I'm supposed to) and can never adjust to having them on my face(another anxiety issue). I hope you can find out what's going on or at least get some relief after you visit with your doctor. Please come back and update us.

Nelle

Hi guys,

Thanks for your replies. :)

Though it's never been officially "diagnosed", I'm relatively certain I suffer from health anxiety too, and I remember a doctor telling me off years ago for Googling my symptoms, and reading forum posts about what I could possibly be suffering from - simply because people often come to forums similar to this one and post about the symptoms they're having, but never really coming back to discuss what's was actually wrong with them (most probably because they're relieved it was nothing serious) - so I promised myself after making my first post that I would come back and update in case someone else was reading this, having the same problem and worrying about what it was!

The good news is I haven't gone blind, haha. I went to the doctor and she checked my eye health again, my field of vision etc and told me she was positive I have a "scotoma" - As I attend (well, attended) University, she said if in a weeks time (after my appointment with her) I was still worried, I could go and see the University optometry department, as they do world class eye health and vision testing - but she seemed certain within a week I wouldn't be bothered by it - it would either go away, or my brain would kick in and start ignoring it. Which is exactly what happened. It's still there, but I barely even notice it. When I posted my initial post, I couldn't be on the computer for more the 5-10 minutes without panicking because I could "see" it (it's actually a reflection from inside the eye, or something like that) - today I spent almost 8 hours on the computer (summer scholarship research) and it didn't bother me at all.

I'm still having some general anxiety issues, but the doctor explained that just because most of the stress of exams had past, didn't mean the anxiety would magically go away on it's own. So I'm just battling through each day trying to keep busy and keep my mind occupied and having lots of hugs with my partner :P

Anyway! Hope anyone reading this and experiencing the same problems gets some relief from this - the scotoma could've been brought on by stress, but it's just as likely that it's just something that has happened - doesn't matter, as it's barely even noticeable anymore - remarkable, is the brain :)

Can I just say, congratulations on getting your Bachelors degree. I'm incredibly excited for you and hopefully I'll have an earned bachelor's degree soon too.

Hope all will be well for you. You're in my heart.