Issues and Vices Journal

Ok sorry, thanks ssssoooo much im very very proud also hey do u have facebook?????

Hey today is a whole month

When u look me up on facebook I'm the very first one on the list with a rad shirt on

Its ****

Okay, thanks...I removed it after I got this, b/c your e-mail shouldn't be posted in the forum...it's public. 

S.C.

Post Edited By Moderator (Scaredy Cat) : 10/3/2012 1:33:06 PM (GMT-6)

No problem...I just want you to be safe:)

I will go look for you now.

S.C.

Hey everyone So it's been a lllooonnnggg time since I posted anything at all, 4 that I feel just terrible I really really do Anyway I just had 2, needed, wanted 2 as well 2 post that it's been 2 month's, 15 days I think, after this month it will be 3, then befor I know it it well be a whole year

Ooohhh, hey I just got some very cccooolll info. from 1 of my Docs. about scares, getting rid of all of them, that is 2 go out, buy some vit.-E, put some of that stuff on them now it comes in pill, liquid, if y'all buy the pill break it open, squeeze it all on 2 all of y'all scares, she said by doing this that it will help them all so good luck all my new bffs

Ipanicalot,
I hope your feeling better these days, and your chest pains have abated. I get those sometimes from the anxiety and they can really mess with your
head.
Sending love and light your way

P.C,
Congratulations!!!! Amazing accomplishment, and i think the vit E is a great idea and will really help :)


As for me, I had a setback the last few days. I had a pretty bad attack while waiting to see my therapist. The dang waiting room had 12 people in it.
I went into the hallway and got myself somewhat calmed down, but then spent most of my session crying about how bad it sucks to still be so
incapacitated by anxiety. : (
My roommate had left town last week and it was sooooooo nice with him gone and all his friends not stopping by all day long! I really like him and get
along with him well, but when he's here it's like our house becomes a guys party house..LAME
Well he came back and a couple other things happened and WHAM-O, anxiety back with a vengeance. I am beyond frustrated with all this. I did talk
to my mom about her leaving before christmas (she's been here since may). I definitely created some guilt for myself about it, but she said she was
already planning to leave by then. It's a double edged sword, because she's been helping me so much and I'm afraid if she's gone I'm gonna slip into
horrible anxiety, laying in bed suicidal, badness again. But I also realize that her helping is also enabling me to not get better either.

Someone asked me to buy my car today, (it's been sitting dead in front of the house for months cause it needs a battery and I panic bad when I try to
drive) That has put me into a whirlwind as well, I've always been so dependent on having a car and I've always LOVED driving until recently. But the
car has issues and can't make long trips anymore, so isn't exactly reliable. I'm just so torn, what if I sell it and then wish I hadn't? or how big of a
pain is it gonna be to find a different car, and am I gonna even be able to scrape the money together for it? Plus our lease is up in January and moving
sucks without a car. But then it's all moot cause I haven't even driven since july... AHHHHH, my mind is just spinning!

Oh and one more thing, my partner has been out of town working for a month and a half now, he'll probably be gone another month, but he lost his
phone charger and hasn't gotten a new one yet so we haven't talked in almost a week. So, I'm pretty stressed about that and the missing him is
kicking in full force these days...

So, my therapist was telling me that with all my cumulative stressors and ptsd that I'd be crazy if I wasn't have massive anxiety, I guess the good news
is I'm not crazy...even though I feel like it most of the time.

Sorry for the long post, just needed to vent a bit

Hope anyone who reads this is having a calm and peaceful day <3

HEY EVERYONE,
I'm SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOO sorry that I haven't been on here until today but don't worry I haven't forgotten about all of Y'ALL:::::::)))))))))))

So here's what been going on with me lately last month on the 16th it was 6 months, this month on the 16th will be 7 so I'm doing really really well I guess at least I say I am HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA In fact I am doing SSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO well that I've stopped counting all together which I prob. should've done at all HAHAHAHAHA because every time I have 2 think about it 2 tell someone Y'ALL know I have 2 phsically hold both my hand's up 2 count just how many month's HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And I've started the E-Oil that I have, that I've told Y'all about as well so I put it all over my body, I mean head 2 toe every single day I come out of the shower it act's as a moisterizer if any of Y'ALL are just wondering just why I'M rubbing Oil all over my entire body HAHAHAHAHAHAHA well that's why

So I highly HHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHLLLLLLLYYYYYYY suggest Y'ALL get a bottle of E-Oil, it says right on it that you can either put it in food or drink or just on your body which I do, I'M telling Y'ALL that it's really really really good but now I'M gonna tell Y'ALL that Y'ALL have 2 do if Y'ALL are willing that is every single night, day 2 see a change Y'ALL know now Y'ALL won't see an emetite change but if Y'ALL stick with it I'M telling ya you will I promise::::::::::::))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Great work Dawn...keep it up!

There is a lot of positivity and great though processes going on in your post. This is going to really help you to keep feeling better.:)

Good job on firing 'Dr. Google' as he just has an awful and scary bedside manner!

We are all working on getting over our hurdles and on down the road...thanks for the update and sharing some of your thoughts.

I am sure that you are going to continue doing well!

S.C.

Mirjph,

Yes that was the original thought behind this...but long posts of this type often morph as they go along...

Feel free to post about whatever you feel comfortable sharing, and know that you will be cared for and supported here.

Scaredy Cat

Its been a little over a month since I lost my job. I didn't get the anxiety from losing my job, I got it from what happened four days after. Accusing me of taking a ITablet which never happened. I was called to the police station to answer some questions and without evidence was arrested and had to post bond. WORST MOMENT IN MY 43 YEARS OF LIFE. I for one am the last person you would accuse of stealing. I took myself to the doctor because I was at my lowest point I have ever been. I was a mess by the time I told the nurse what happened. She let the doctor know what was going on so I wouldn't have to go through it again. I am on Zoloft and Xanax and have adjusted very well. I am proud to say that I went to the doctor on my own, started therapy and am going to support groups at church two nights a week. THAT WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR ME TO DO ALL OF THIS ON MY OWN. My support group of friends and family couldn't believe what I went through and every one of them said they would be a charater witness if I needed them to. The Police Report was a real EYE openER! Everyone keeps complimenting me on how positive I have been through this whole ordeal and I have to say I have never thought about suicide. My life means more to me than anything and so do the people in it. I'm not rushing into getting another job yet, I'm just not ready. TRUST is going to be a huge issue for me the rest of my life. I love this blog and the support given here. I'm on here all the time reading all the posts. I also have IBS which was great until this happened. The doctor put me on some OTC meds which we had to quirk and change and all things are good with that.