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Eating Phobia Pretty Debilitating

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Posted 12/13/2012 4:42 PM (GMT 0)
This is my first time posting. I'm really glad I found this forum and have seen through reading it last night that I'm not alone!

The short story is that I have had severe anxiety since I was a young girl. I'm now 26 and have been going through some particularly stressful times, especially with career and money. I've been living in a rural area for 2 years now, and don't get to see many people and my friends and family live hours away. I live with my very loving fiance and we organic farm on the side. He works full time and makes a pretty meager living, enough to just pay the bills and I recently had to leave my part time job in town because the drive to work and the stress of a difficult boss was really not worth it to me. I got offered an incredible writing and editing job that I could do from home over a month ago and was thrilled, but nothing has come of it and they are never getting back to me when they say they will. I started to fear they had chosen someone else, or that they decided they didn't like me. I then became sad and despondent, and because I live so far away from everything, things just kept getting worse for me anxiety-wise.

Starting about a week and a half ago, I began having very severe panic attacks, mostly around the idea of this job and even about choking on my food. It has gotten to the point where I can hardly eat at all and lost several pounds, felt weak and so on. I am now making sure I get at least the caloric intake I need to maintain my weight, through soups and high calorie drinks and fats... it's really making life miserable for me and I just feel so frustrated with myself. I want to get past this all and just be able to eat normally again. Every time I try to swallow, I guess I overthink it and I begin to feel as though I will choke or that food is getting stuck in my throat. I fear that it will go down the wrong way.

I made a call into a psychologist in the nearest city and she referred me to someone even farther away. I am going to hopefully get in to see someone very soon but am even nervous about that and whether they will be able to help me or not. And to make things worse, I just aged off my parents insurance and am inbetween jobs so I worry about how I will afford the visits.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you for listening.
Posted 12/13/2012 5:47 PM (GMT 0)
Hi VFG and welcome!

I am sorry to hear about the recent struggles that have been happpening and the resulting anxiety that it has caused.

Job and financial issues are certainly something that can increase stress and worry...and often our physical selves end up being the worse for it.

Eating/digestive troubles are a common issue in connection with anxiety. We have had many posts on this subject here. Fear of swallowing/choking are not uncommon either, and I will look up some old threads for you, as I remember a few from the past.

It is good that you are able to at least get nourishment from liquid foods! I often recommend Ensure for members who have a problem with solids due to nausea or swallowing trouble. It is full of nutrients and high in calories, which makes it a complete meal replacement.

Another good method is to try progressive muscle relaxation (see video instructions in our Resources, main page 1st post) paying special attention to the throat area. You can even gently massage the throat and neck area. Tilting your head back allowing you mouth to hang open is also a good stretch to lossen and open the throat muscles before trying to eat.

Having plenty of liquid available at all times is also helpful to keep the throat moist, and avoid tight feelings in that area.

Also in our Resources you will find other great self-help ideas that you can put to good use right away...while you are waiting to do your therapy. The breathing exercises are really effective in reducing over all stress levels if practiced daily. Further, we have great overviews on self-help techniques as well which can help to educate you on treating anxiety and its symptoms.:)

Keep posting with us as well. We understand what you are going through and are here to listen and support!

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat
Posted 12/13/2012 5:53 PM (GMT 0)
Here are just a few of the old threads on this subject.  If you would like to read more, just hit the search icon (upper right) and type in key words.  I used 'fear of choking' to find these.  I hope this helps.:)

S.C.

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=514563

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=2076837

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=2438822

...and this one from searching 'problems swallowing due to anxiety'

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=2137995

 

Posted 12/14/2012 6:31 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much for the links! It makes things a little better knowing that I'm not the only one with this strange phobia. I felt like I had a bad eating day today and was frustrated with myself, which only made things harder. It was exacerbated definitely by my anxiety with still not hearing back about the job- I had expected them to return my call or at least email.

I started to cry and become fearful earlier tonight that I would be this way forever and never be able to eat much again. That I may just starve or something at some point because I can't see how to get over this phobia. I spoke with my mom who lives several hours away and she had me talk to our family doctor who is also a friend. He recommended something to make me less worried and anxious about so much and will be calling in a prescription of Prozac for me to try. I am at the point where I will try anything if it helps even the littlest bit. Earlier in the day, I called over TEN therapists/psych clinics and all were booked for months or closed for the month due to Christmas. So, this is definitely the only door that is open right now. I also ordered some books I found on Amazon related to dealing with anxiety disorders and panic attacks.

I'll be driving to my parents place to stay for a few days and try to relax, plus take the Prozac and see if it helps. I really hope it can!
Posted 12/14/2012 5:09 PM (GMT 0)
There is hope...and it won't be like this forever!:)

I would go ahead and put myself on some waiting lists for the therapists that you called. You never know when and opening will come up.

Great job on contacting your family doctor, and on getting those books! The medication and self-help is a great start!

Try to be patient and gentle with yourself. Recovery does take time, but you will get there.:)

Keep posting and we will be here to support you along the journey to wellness.

S.C.
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