Bonjour icgirl,Great input from the others as they are wise and simply quite wonderful. As a long time member of this forum I know how much help it is to be able to come here and talk to others who know what you are going through.
I have had a dx of anxiety and depression which frequently go hand in hand and reading your sx I would say that yes, it is very possible that you may have depression.
The good news is that you can learn to live with depression but I feel strongly that you need to see a psychiatrist or psychologist.
I had my first experience with depression in 1982 when our first born son went straight from high school into the military and I had no idea what was happening. One day I just broke down and could not stop crying which sent me into panic mode. I was lucky to have a dear friend accross the street who is a nurse and she came and took me out and walked my legs off as it was the week-end and the clinic was closed. I could not sleep, concentrate or eat and in the middle of the night (3:00AM) I had a panic attack so I called my friend and she threw some clothes on, came over; off we went walking my legs off in the middle of the night as she talked to me.
On Monday she got me an appontment at her clinic with one of the finest internal medicine DRs. who did a full exam and then arranged for me to see the the pyscologist in their clinic that very same day. That was my first experiece and since then I have always had a mental health Dr. to deal with my meds, any melt downs or crisis as well as maintainance issues.
My sx usually range from days of tears and fears, feeling all alone in the world, wondering why this is happening to me and trying to fight through the depression. I learned a long time ago to ask for help whenever I need it so I am glad you have come here and are sharing with us so we can support you.
I was dx with cancer last August and just finished my chemo. The new dx has played havoc with my depression and I ended up doing what I promised myself I would never do - I stayed in bed all day one day and when I was not able to fall asleep I cried my heart out begging someone to help me.
When I could not pull myself out of the depression days I picked up the phone and called my Pdoc......................many times I have called the clinic in tears as I am not able to hold them back but that is how depression can be.
Could your problems be Fibro - I suspect they could be but as I am not a Dr. I will post you a couple of links for you to take a look at. Some people have both Fibro and Depression. It is frequently hard to sort out what came first.
http://www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia/guide/fibromyalgia-symptoms-types
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-symptoms-and-types
SC suggested you check out our resources which I think is a great idea.
I am sorry you do not have insurance, however, some clinics will agree to accept you as a patient with reduced rates or arrange some sort of payment plan so you can be seen by a mental health professional. Also check what is available for help in your area that is for the uninsured.
about me, I have done well the past 10 days only to wake up this morning and not know how I was going to get up or what I should do to keep the depression at bay. I have a wonderful therapy dog who senses when I am in trouble and he came into my bedroom, jumped up next to me and so I hugged him and let the tears out.
Well here I am out of bed, the tears have stopped and I will not dwell on why I had a tough morning but accept that I did but I am up now and sitting here trying to help others who go through what I have live with for 31 years. I can honestly say I have had many more good days, months, years then bad times.
Believe that you will get better and keep talking with us. I am always open to questions so ask away here in the forum or feel comfortable sending me an email.
In the words of Oprah, "“Devote today to something so daring even you can’t believe you’re doing it.”
Au revoir for now,
Kitt