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Posted 5/5/2013 3:43 PM (GMT 0)
I have fallen back into my anxiety slump... I know I need to do what I need to do, and I have been doing it for six months with anxiety, but now that I have started my new job and my anxiety, and fear of getting sick at work due to IBS and SIBO are at all time highs I just don't know what to do anymore. I know I am a fighter, I always have been and I have never given up, but right now, thats all I feel like I can do is give up! I hate fighting the constant fears of will I get sick at work, all the "what ifs" I can't even enjoy my days off because I am frightened by when I have to go back! Plus all the fears and anxiety of even just leaving my house are coming back. I am trying to figure out if this fear is present because this is all new still, and it was such a huge change so it will take time. I just don't know what to do because I just feel like I would feel so much better just giving up and not having to fight these irrational thoughts and fears everyday I have to work, and even days I don't have to work. There has to be people out there who have it worse than me, but yet still hold a job... So, what do I do??? I think if this ever got to the point i really couldn't work, I would want to just give up, you need a job to live these days.... Any advice, or more or less stories of recovery are helpful so I know it is possible even when someone felt like this!
Posted 5/5/2013 4:41 PM (GMT 0)
ELS when my PAD was at it's peak I got a new boss who started out real nice and then turned on me real
bad, he spent every day for 10 years looking for something to fire me over. I knew what he was doing
because labor relations called me in and asked me what was going on. I had to tell them I didn't understand but appreciated the heads up. I concentrated on my work big time and became a very respected person in my field, I was not afraid of this man but didn't leave anything undone the result was I became an expert, at His retirement I had a chance to ask him why he felt like that toward me, he said I didn't think you deserved a job like this because of your religion. I never understood that but it taught me a valuable lesson, I don't care about anything except how a person does their job, I will not judge on anything else. You seem to be overly concerned about your job, all one can do it the best they know how, even dig a little deeper it will one day surprise you how many people will notice your devotion to duty! I would be Proud to have you as an employee, your the kind of person that makes the difference in whether a company fails or expands. Instead of worrying concentrate on what you are doing, Your Friend.
Larry ***
Posted 5/5/2013 6:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi ELS, I just wanted to say that I can relate to what you're saying. I started a new job a month ago and my anxiety has been really bad for an entire month. I dread going in and I don't enjoy my days off as much as I should because I dread going back to work. I know how hard and tiring it is to keep fighting all the time...but giving up just makes it so much worse, because then you have to claw your way back from the bottom. The more you fight, the easier it gets.

I think Larry is right and I'm going to take his advice, too -- just concentrate on doing the best job I can, concentrate on the work, not what people think about me. I think it might help :)
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