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What's Wrong With Me??

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 5/18/2013 11:17 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so upset now...I'm going into my fifth day of severe anxiety and depression. I wish either I or a doctor could figure out what was wrong with me, so that I could know how to fix it. I go through 2-7 days of "normal" mood (I'm anxious but I can use coping techniques, I can get past it and enjoy my life) and then 2-7 days of hell like this, where I feel anxiety nonstop (relaxation techniques and distraction and etc. help, but only while I'm doing them--the instant I stop, the anxiety comes flooding back). My mood cycles like that constantly, up and down, up and down. I almost always have a "down" episode the week before my period, too, and that one is usually by far the worst -- I've been admitted to psych wards 3 times and every time it's been the week before my period. I don't know if that means that my mood cycle is related to hormones or not.

Does this happen to anyone else? I need to figure out how to stop or at least reduce these "down" periods. They are so bad. By the 2nd day I'm completely exhausted and despairing. Today I just want to give up.
Posted 5/18/2013 12:29 PM (GMT 0)
I'm feeling so lost...I don't want a life where I only have a chance of feeling good and being engaged in life half the time. I feel like I'm no good to anyone this way. I feel like a bad employee, a bad girlfriend, a bad friend, a bad everything. I feel so broken and so alone.
Posted 5/18/2013 1:57 PM (GMT 0)
I do not know where you are at with this, mine started at 12 to 13 age, and have come back here and there ever since. Sometimes they stay for a while sometimes they do not. I have just recently started to ask for help. Always been a little ashamed of this, like it was me not a disease. Right now I am in a bad spot, I will get better, and so will you. The fact that you care about being a good employee, girlfriend, and friend, means you are a good one, and all three are lucky to have you. There is a lot of good information here, and good advice so use it to get better, its helped me. I wish you the best and hoped this helped and if you feel alone do not cause there are a lot of people here and with you that want the best for you.
Ed
Posted 5/18/2013 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi

Sorry to here you are having a tough time with your anxiety at the moment unfortunately things do seem to go up and down which is why it is important to take small achievable steps and take each day as it comes.

Can I suggest you look into Mindfulness CBT which I found to really help me with my anxiety there is lots of information on the web re this and it's just a suggestion.

Keep posting here and let us know how you are getting on.

Hibee
Posted 5/18/2013 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Faldov,

First of all, in regards to your title...nothing is wrong with you!! You are simply experiencing anxiety.

However, you are reaching out and taking steps to help yourself, and that is a positive move in the right direction.

I looked through some old posts, and tried to remember...but I couldn't find if you have mentioned any treatment such as therapy in the past?

As Hibee suggested, CBT and Mindfullness are both great choices for you to look into. Were you offered any one on one or group therapy options while you admitted?

If so, I would take them up on it...if not, please ask your doctor about finding someone to help you.

Even if you have done some work in the past, re-visiting the idea of therapy is a good one. You never know when something is just going to 'click', and healing just starts to happen! (I went through 2 full courses of CBT, and didn't start to note change until I was well into my second round!)

Keep posting, and let us know how you are doing soon.:)

S.C.
Posted 5/19/2013 1:47 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone. I have tried therapy in the past. I am currently working through a DBT workbook and I meet with a "Coping Skills" group once a week. I was prescribed Seroquel to take "as needed" but it doesn't seem to have any effect.

Yesterday was my fifth day of intense anxiety/depression and it was really, really rough. I had what felt like near-panic for about 5 hours (it didn't help that I had to go to work--I missed an entire week because of these mood drops a couple of weeks ago). I tried to keep telling myself that my only problem was my anxiety, tried to keep positive...but it's almost impossible to do anything except just survive when my anxiety is that constantly that bad for so many days in a row. And then suddenly, just like flipping a switch, it stopped. That happens pretty regularly with me. Now I'll have a few days of relative calm, unless something happens to trigger another down period.

The way that my worst moods just disappear suddenly, without me doing anything differently, makes me think it's something hormonal or otherwise biological. I think coping skills and day-to-day treatment like CBT and DBT do help in general, but in these really bad periods (which happen 2-3 times a month) nothing seems to help at all -- then all of the sudden, it passes like a fever breaking. I can deal with the day-to-day anxiety and depression, but I can't take these really bad spells. I don't know what to do.
Posted 5/19/2013 3:47 PM (GMT 0)
I am really glad that you are feeling better today! I hope that you continue to do so, and that you have a good
long break from the low mood.

Keep up the good work on your DBT and going to your group!:)

Have an A/D free weedend!

S.C.
Posted 5/20/2013 1:04 AM (GMT 0)
Anxiety is a daily struggle. Some days are better than others. If there was a magical cure we would all know but there is not. We have to be grateful for the good days!!!!
Posted 5/20/2013 2:27 AM (GMT 0)
Faldov from what I see when you reach out to others in need you are a first class person. I would be
proud to call you a friend and I know that the other PAD sufferers would, It's kinda like this Kid, We are
a special people and only people like us understand. This is something I also believe, only a PAD sufferer
can possibly understand or Help us! Don't give up on yourself, because we sure won't give up on You!

Your in my Prayers!

Larry ***
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