today was tough and i'm choosing to write on this forum instead of in my journal tonight. thanks in advance for listening.
the day started out like any other day over the past couple months. i actually woke up feeling better than normal. i took my celexa pill as always and went about
the day. a couple hours later i was driving and got this immediate sense of fear and dizziness, i also felt a wave of heat go through my body. i felt high-like i had just smoked weed. i don't do that for this very reason, i don't like feeling high and it freaked me out a bit. i was driving my boyfriend to pick up his car at an oil change place and i just burst into tears out of nowhere. i felt so out of control in my own skin. it soon passed. it was like a mini breakdown/panic attack unlike what i had been experiencing prior which is huge crazy meltdowns. later this afternoon, i had my weekly appointment with my therapist. everything was going normal until right at the end of the session when i started feeling dizzy and hot again.
she helped with a little guided meditation, and i was ok soon after. then again, while i was at work, i started feeling the same way. i took a klonopin because i had to make it through the night and i wasn't about
to leave work AGAIN because of this stupid panic disorder. it stopped the panic in its tracks, but i was exhausted for the rest of the night.
i've been taking this celexa for 5 weeks now. as i had mentioned on another member's post, my doctor told me that it could take up to 6 weeks for it to work properly in my body. i just feel like everything is getting worse instead of better. i have never had a 3 panic attack situation in a single day until now. i also recently went to urgent care because i thought i was having an allergic reaction to the celexa. the doctor there said i was just having another panic attack and that sometimes they can change depending on multiple different factors like medication or different situational triggers. the last couple have come with a major heat flash where i feel like i'm going to faint or throw up. i have serious medication anxiety. i hate that i have to take the celexa and i hate when i have to take the klonopins. they make me feel better, but i hate the moment before taking them...the moment when i feel that something horrible might happen when i actually swallow it.
i was prescribed both medications through my general practitioner. my therapist recommended that i see a psychiatrist instead for medications when i told her that i was having some bad side effects.
does anyone have any thoughts on this? i really like and trust my gp, but maybe she isn't the best person for the job. any thoughts? also, has anyone seen their panic attacks change? this is the scariest thing for me to come to terms with. obviously the first time i had one, it scared the crap out of me. i thought i was having a heart attack. then i started to recognize the feeling and be able to somewhat control or at least understand what was happening and try and calm myself down. now that they're supposedly changing form it terrifies me. i'm so aware of every single internal movement my body makes and then my brain starts spinning out of control about
what it might mean. aaahhhh. this sucks so bad. i just really needed to put all of this this out into the universe. thank you to anyone who has listened and can possibly give me some advice or helpful words.
also...i came across this tonight and a lot of it rang true for me. if you're new to this, like me, maybe this will help you.
http://www.succeedsocially.com/panicattacks*made this an active link for you:) S.C.
Post Edited By Moderator (Scaredy Cat) : 5/23/2013 3:28:47 PM (GMT-6)