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completely freaking OUT!

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Posted 6/7/2013 4:47 PM (GMT 0)
Okay, so here I was yesterday thinking I was doing so good and now I'm freaking the *^%$ OUT. Can you have a panic attack for hours??? And does stress make your hair fail out?

I overslept this morning, get in the shower, combing conditioner through my hir and so much hair comes out that t wraps around my flippin hand and I have to peel it off start freaking out, hyperventillating in hot steamy shower, sick at stomach, try to finish getting dressed, coming to work - late - get all confused at intersection, almost wreck, like i really think a truck almost touched my car for real, gt to work, nboss has added so much crap to my plate including some things I haven't done in the 9 years I worked here, try to explian panic attack and he's likd yeah, me too, no not yeah you too, I'm serious here. It's been like five hours now and I am so close to going to the ER, I mean completely off balance, chest hurts so freaking bad from cant breath, cant think good, I dunno what the crap, sick to my stomach, coworkers keep walking by and saying 'hey cheer up' or 'whats your problem' or 'hey just calm down.' oh my gosh, i'm totally freaking out here
Posted 6/7/2013 4:49 PM (GMT 0)
my heart is beating so hard its making my shirt shake, handss shaking, throat feels closed up, shooting pain in neck and side of face, what the crap
Posted 6/7/2013 5:48 PM (GMT 0)
My Dear Child you have scared your self s-----ss, anyone could understand that is like us,
Remember "Nothing bad is going to happen to you, now or ever".
Can you imagine anyone you know getting ready for work and going through what you have and not
climbing the walls, I can't and I think you have done really well"
(Give yourself credit for what you have been able to endure, then realize you are going to be able to
accomplish everything because You are You and You can do it, You have accomplished worse days and
you will winn again), it's just the way You are! Courage is being scared crapless and feeling overwhelmed,
then taking on the enemy anyway! Because the enemy feeds on fear, give it a good mental cussin, and know
that this old man is going to Pray for You now and the rest of the afternoon! Peace.
Larry ***
Posted 6/7/2013 5:56 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much, Larry!!!

Your prayers worked! :)

I am much, much better now. Have been standing outside for a while, after talking to a psychiatrist at a counseling center I didn't even know existed. (A co-worker looked up the number for me, after I went into a full blown, shaking, crying, hyperventilating breakdown. Luckily, only she and I are in the office right at the moment.)

The psychiatrist actually answered the phone herself. She made me feel so much better and didn't really talk about anything. Something about the WAY she talked to me. I guess that's crazy. Anyway, she is coming in to see me in the morning, even though the center isn't open because she felt like I might be an emergency case. lol! She's right!

Anyway, I was thinking "When does a psychiatrist answer their own phone? And talk someone through it for free when they're not even an existing patient?" I know now - when someone's sweet friend Larry is praying them through it. Thank you, dear!
Posted 6/7/2013 6:27 PM (GMT 0)
My goodness, I'm already having chest pain/trouble breathing again.

I have a two hour session scheduled for tomorrow. Maybe she can fix me in two hours. lol
Posted 6/7/2013 7:13 PM (GMT 0)
I haven't quit just because you feel a little better, Remember how clean the air smells after a summer storm,
You have many more good days ahead! The Spirit is like unto the wind it blows where it will! I Pray that You
always have the Wind at Your Back! Peace.

Larry ***
Posted 6/7/2013 7:28 PM (GMT 0)
BeRock,

I sympathize with your condition. We all know the roller coaster ride our anxiety puts us through. Remember, a roller coaster eventually stops the up and down and you have that nice smooth leveling off before you exit the coaster.

You have a two hour session for tomorrow. Excellent! I know you will get something positive and good from it. Something to hold on to until tomorrow and something to have after the session.

I think Larry's insight here is excellent. The example of how clean the air smells after a summer storm really hits the spot. Just know I sent a prayer your way and that you will get through this and the coaster will level out. We are behind you.
Posted 6/7/2013 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
I think stress can cause hair loss. Mine has increased since I got anxiety. I used to get it only at my cowlick area before and now it progressed towards my forehead. I'm only 27 y/o. I get several strands of hair too when I shampoo like 7-12 strands. It makes me feel down too since it I don't look good with it.

All of us have their own ups and down. Like me, I thought I was able to get to feel better and once and for all beat anxiety last April, but this month anxiety made its presence again and now I'm freaking out because of feeling that I possibly have a brain aneurysm. I just can't get myself to ignore these visual disturbances since I get to see them always. Like you I need to try harder.

I have hope we can beat this anxiety crap. I read your other posts and I can see how strong you are in dealing with this. After you get past having a panic attack for hours, I bet you'll be able to tell yourself "bring it on!"
Posted 6/7/2013 8:31 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you guys so much. This is so intense! I just want to go home and hide in my bedroom, but I can't. At this rate, I'm going to be here all weekend working because I can't anything done.
Posted 6/7/2013 8:44 PM (GMT 0)
How much is a long distance call to God? Nothing, He's always standing beside you with His hand on your
shoulder! "If You listen real close to His words, You can do this, I would not place You where You will Fail"!

Larry ***
Posted 6/7/2013 8:56 PM (GMT 0)
You're right, Larry. I think I'm going to go outside and pray for a few minutes...
Posted 6/7/2013 9:10 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes thats all He wants.

Larry ***
Posted 6/7/2013 9:25 PM (GMT 0)
My chest has quit hurting, heartbeat slowed to a somewhat normal pace, just feel very lightheaded and faint at this point. I'm hoping this time is really the beginning of the end of the attack. I'm exhausted. Is it normal for the painful part of an attack to last so very long?

Have successfully freaked out my boss, who told me a few minutes ago, "well you hang in there, I love you, I mean, wait, no, ummm... yeah, take care of that." lol - I'm going to give him panic attacks. It's pretty out of my nature to lose my composure to a visible point at work.
Posted 6/7/2013 11:03 PM (GMT 0)
Aw BR, I am so sorry that you are going throught this...

...but something good did come from it...you have an appointment with a p-doc who sounds fantastic!

This is from the anxietycentre's site in our Resources...just for reassurance.:)

Hair loss, hair is thinning, or clumps of hair are falling out.

This is listed as an anxiety symptom there.


I had a weird episode the other day with a physical symptom (sinus/mucus related...eww I know) and felt on the verge of feeling panicked about it. I told myself that it was not immediately life threatening, and that if I needed to get it checked out further, then that's what I would do...and that it would all turn out allright, if I could just relax, and take things one step at a time calmly...and that's what I did.

You will get to the point where you will be better able to shut down those initial panicked feelings, and get through whatever situation that you need to.;)

Peace and progress!

S.C.

Posted 6/8/2013 12:48 AM (GMT 0)
I hope you are home now sitting in the yard with your new best buddie in you lap!!!!!!!!! Peace Child!

Larry ***

Some day this will be just a faded memory, for now smile!

Larry ***

One last thing! Good night don't let the bedbugs bite! Peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Larry ***

Post Edited (lgm1942) : 6/7/2013 8:13:01 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/8/2013 3:33 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you guys so much! Sorry for all of the serial posts today, but thank you for being here for me. You wonderful people are such a blessing.

I think I'm fully through panicking, I hope, for tonight. Physically exhausted, but that's okay. It's been weeks since I slept well, so maybe I will tonight. :)

Sorry I've been such a selfish member today and haven't offered much support to anyone else. Today was one of the scariest days of my life - and I've been through some crazy things. I think I was more afraid today than I was through things like my house being struck by lightening.

Thank you guys again SO much!

I know it seems silly to freak out so bad over hair... but that's my one vanity. My hair is waist long and it was just coming out all over my hands and shower and towel. I don't have any bald spots or anything, though. haha BUT, once I started I just couldn't stop. Just wild.

S.C. - thanks for the reassurance. I'll hope that once the anxiety is under control the hair will quit falling out. And I am very excited about seeing the Pdoc. She seems so nice.

Larry - I did spend about an hour with my doggies when I got home. They've told me they think things will be fine. haha

One more time, thank y'all SO much!
Posted 6/8/2013 3:57 AM (GMT 0)
Sending my personal Guardian Angle to watch over you tonight. He's kinda tired and beat up from pushing
me out of the way of danger, but He's real good at watching over little girls! Peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Larry ***
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