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how panic disorders affect our children

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Posted 7/7/2013 7:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hello! I am new to this forum and grateful for it. I am very excited to utilize this as a way of dealing with my panic disorder and along the way maybe help someone else. In addition to my panic disorder, I am also a hypochondriac and have an irrational fear of dying. It is my fear of death by illness (heart conditions specifically), car accident, falling, choking, etc. that is the source of my panic and anxiety. I am mostly worried that I will die and my five year old son will be without me. I also worry about him finding my body and not knowing what to do. This fear has turned into an obsessive quest to train him to use my phone to call 911 and to keep my phone near at all times so he can get to it. Because of this I barely sleep. I am also concerned (irrationally) about my son's health. I am known to stay awake for hours to ensure his breathing is normal. I wonder and am concerned about how my anxiety will affect him. Anyone struggling with panic disorder while raising kids?
Posted 7/7/2013 8:06 AM (GMT 0)
I'm also a hypochondriac, a health worrier. At my age, 27, I think I'm not invulnerable to diseases anymore not like when I was young, so now I have health anxiety. I don't have a son yet but you shouldn't get him to worry about his health like you do. Although it's normal to worry about him but you shouldn't share your fears with him and let him enjoy his life. You can get him annually checked up so that you can reduce your worries for him. Anxiety or worrying too much can bring symptoms that can make someone think he/she's seriously ill and affect his/her way of life and you surely don't want your son to experience that at his young age. Don't worry too much about how he breathes, I think he's totally fine and healthy. You should not get yourself exhausted by not getting enough rest by staying awake for hours to ensure he's breathing normal, it doesn't help reducing your anxiety when you're doing this. And also, easily said than done, don't try to rehearse your death all over as you're just going to waste time and it will only make you feel more miserable. Instead try to dwell more on positive thoughts so that you'll be able to have good days with your family and spend happy times with them. This is what we need before we die. Living in the moment without worrying about how we're gonna die is what's important. I believe you already have some tests done and came back normal? Try to keep your worries aside as this helps me a lot for being able to have fun with my loved ones before I die. They probably want us to be full of life instead of being lifeless while being around them. I hope I helped out a bit even if I don't have any children yet.
Posted 7/7/2013 2:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi randalee and welcome!

I am so glad that you have joined us.:) Being part of a community that understands what you are going through is very beneficial. I hope that you find the comfort and support that you seek here.

What if anyting have you done in terms of anxiety managment? Many members here treat their anxiety with medication, therapy or a combination of both. Self help is also another great way to work on the issues that bother you, and it cost efficient and can be done according to your schedule.

I personally was able to overcome my panic disorder, and learn to manage my health anxiety through a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) This type of therapy is very effective in treating both of these issues...and I found it really helpful in dealing with the constant worries about my and my children's health.

If it is an option, I highly recommend talking to your doctor about a referral to a therapist who could help you.:)

Another idea I can recommend is to look in our Resource Guide here on our main page (1st post). It is full of great stress reducing techniques...and there are book recommendations, including a couple on the subject of health anxiety.

I encourage you to do all that you can, so that you can recover, feel better, and hopefully reduce the overall effect that this could have concerning your child(ren).

Please keep posting if you find it helps. We are always here to cheer each other on!

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat
Posted 7/9/2013 6:29 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much for all your great ideas. Having a caring community such as this, really does make me believe that I can overcome this disorder. I have had numerous tests done on my heart and lab work every year, and each time it comes back normal. How can I be as fit as a fiddle when I feel like I'm always on the verge of death? The mind is a complicated labyrinth.
Posted 7/9/2013 7:51 AM (GMT 0)
Randalee,

I have very similar fears as you do. I constantly think that I am dying from some sort of undiagnosed disease or that I will soon get a life-threatening disease. My panic disorder and anxiety is very much based on hypochondrias.

With that said, I don't want to scare you or put you down or anything like that. I'm sure you are a wonderful guardian but I feel like I should share how I feel being raised by an over-protective, hyper-vigilant mother.

I'm 26 years old now and I have panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, a little bit of OCD, and depression, all of which were professionally diagnosed starting with the panic at around age 17.

As I've come to think the inevitable question "why me" I always come up with the same answer: my parents. I was very fearful of my dad as a child because sometimes he would explode randomly and so I lived in a constant state of fear. What is more specific to your case, though, is that my mother was extremely over-protective of me, in fact she STILL is... Even to this day I'm constantly warned of what a dangerous world it is, how anything can happen in the blink of an eye, how I should always be prepared for anything... I feel a lot of anger and rage when I think about all of this... I often feel like she... that THEY are the reason that I suffer now.

I guess in short what I'm trying to say is, if you really love your son, which I'm sure that you do, then PLEASE think about what your over-bearing, over-protective, hyper-vigiliance can do to him. I wish someone had told my parents this while or before they raised me. The best way to take care of your son is to take care of yourself first. We probably cannot hope to completely overcome our anxiety but we CERTAINLY can make it better.
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