thanks everyone for your thoughts and wishes. especially the suggestion of starting the day over 2-3 times.
I know part of what is going on is that I am in a new position at work, it's going well but it's only day 2. so there are still lots of unknowns.
another part of it is that at my last job I had a pretty horrible last few months. I couldn't find anyone to help me with what I didn't understand, had some mean bosses, was basically lost and there seemed no way out. looking back I see that I should have stood up and told them their system didn't work, I didn't understand it and I wasn't a dummy. plus there was one manager who talked down to me constantly. I am still wanting to tell him off. perhaps I need to write him a letter and not mail it (that is what they suggest in 12-step recovery).
anyway, here's hoping for more tranquil times!