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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 8/19/2013 3:26 AM (GMT 0)
I have never posted on a forum in the 19 years I have had anxiety. I'm 31 now and I'm scared. For some reason, I've had it in my head that in my 30s, my anxiety would go away. I'd be a full fledged "adult" and I'd find that calm that I've never had before. But that's not the case....

I still have anxiety as bad as ever. The only difference is that the older I get, the harder the physical symptoms are on my body.

I think about dealing with this for the next 50 years and I literally start bawling. I don't know if it is physically possible to endure this real life hell for an entire lifetime. I'm not suicidal, I promise I'm not. But does anyone else just feel defeated? As if they have no more fight left in them?
Posted 8/19/2013 3:39 AM (GMT 0)
Amen!! But when I feel my fight draining I look to The Lord and to my family and that picks me back up. I too am 30 and mine is bad as ever. Everyone on here ( and there are some great people ) has been exactly where you are. Don't give up. Lean onto us and we will help you through it.
Posted 8/19/2013 3:42 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks. I needed that. I've never had anyone who's understood. My whole life I've heard that "it's all in your head" "and you can control it if you want to". I've never been able to open up about what life is really like for me. I do feel exhausted and I do feel defeated and I am scared. There. I said it.
Posted 8/19/2013 3:54 AM (GMT 0)
Honey everyone is scared. We just feel it more profoundly than most people. I read something today that made me cry in a very good way.

Anxiety isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of trying to remain strong for way too long.

There is nothing wrong with you that caused you to have it. Everyone already has anxiety panic. We are just more sensitive to it than most people are and have a harder time secreting ourselves. My husband once told me that he thought of me as one of the strongest people on the planet because day in and day out I do battle with my own mind.
I am lucky and have a wonderful support system. However over the past couple of months I have come to depend on the people here way more than my own system. It helps south when someone has seen lived and breathed panic for themselves. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but it is nice having sympathy.
The old saying of what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Well I feel like I should be strong enough to take on the whole world by myself. And that's where I intend to be. You will get there too. There are some wonderful people on here that have better advice than I do. ( I'm ranting on my phone laying in bed ). Everyday is a baby step. Don't over do and never do anything you don't want to do. I found out the hard way that never works.
Posted 8/19/2013 4:23 AM (GMT 0)
This last act you have performed, reaching out to us, You are one of us now, just may be the missing
peace of the puzzle you are looking for. I promise you everyone on here at HW knows all to well what
you have been dealing with. Climb aboard here you can vent till the limits of your endurance. and everyone will care. Take the time to read through the resources you will find many things that will make your life a wonderful experience again. May you receive the Peace you need and desire!

Larry ***
Posted 8/19/2013 4:31 AM (GMT 0)
Thx Larry! I know I've needed this. I don't know why it's taken this long. Talking about my anxiety invokes feelings of shame and embarrassment, most likely a result from years of societal conditioning.

Maybe when I get a little more comfortable, I will start sharing my story but for now, it's comforting to know you are there.
Posted 8/19/2013 4:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hi AL and welcome!

I am so glad that you have joined us. Being part of a community of understanding peers who care and relate to  you has been a big part of recovery for many here...myself included!

Share whatever you feel comfortable with at anytime. We are here to listen and offer help or advice if we are able.

We have an awesome Resource Guide here on our main page, 1st post, that is full of great ideas for self-help. You may find something of interest to you there.

Support is key...so keep posting with us.:)

Talk to you soon,

Scaredy Cat
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