PTSD moment

This kind of falls somewhere in between anticipatory anxiety, and magical thinking.

In anticipatory anxiety, we are setting ourselves up to be afraid of something that we know is going to happen. Since you know all these activities have sort of lined up in the past, and ended in your most dreaded phobia...your mind is warning you against repeating the same pattern. It doesn't matter that this time will not result in the same outcome as the last...you still have that hard-wired fear.

Magical thinking happens when we put too much meaning on certain circumstances, therefore giving them too much power. This has roots in superstitions and folklore...but can also be as simple as thinking, "Since everyone got sick at the last gun show, it is bound to happen again."

Even though you know rationally that this is not true...the fear remains...so you have to beat it into submission!! Get out your baseball bat and get ready to swing!

Use your postive and rational mantras. Speak against the fearful thought, and diffuse them. Use your breathing and relaxation exercises. Talk about your worries...take away their power.

You will all be okay, try to use your skills to help you through the weekend!...and post as often and as much as you need to...we love our active forum!!!:)

Keep posting.:)

S.C.

I don't have anything intelligent to add, just feel sorry for your situation, I know what you are dealing
with because I was a bigger d*** than your husband ever has been, there are honestly times I am
thankful for my anxiety, it sure did make me a more humble better person. "I'm still a stinker". Peace

Larry ***

Well Larry if your wife has problems at least you can kinda understand. My husband has known about my phobia for a long time but didnt know how bad I can get until this past couple years. My mom and a couple of my cousins only knew about it because people see it as ridiculous.

My mom is gone. One year she thought she had a bad stomach flu because she was running a fever and couldn't stop vomiting. My dad cheated on my mom for years with **********s so they had separate rooms. I had already moved out. I asked my dad can you please stay with mom tonight. He was mad but did. He took her to the ER there they discovered gallstones. So they preped her for surgery but when they went to remove it they discovered her gallbladder had gangrene. So they couldn't stitch her up. She stayed with me while she had nurse care so she had a clean place to be. She healed graduated college and was looking for work. She found out she had sleep apnea and COPD so she had to have a CPAP. The same time of year she got sick again and again she thought it was the stomach flu. Again I told my dad to stay home with her. I took her my heating pad because she was in pain. That night my dad took her to the ER again. This time her appendix ruptured. She was in the hospital for awhile because she got sepsis. Again they couldn't stitch her up. While she was in the hospital my dad moved his girlfriend and her kids in. We didnt know. I had my mom stay with me again while under nurse care. One day my dad left a breakup letter and told my mom she no longer had a home. So my mom had to live with us. She was in and out of ICU because she kept getting sepsis. Finally things started to look up. She healed and started to look for work again. She was happy she asked if she could stay with us till November. I rolled my eyes and told her yes. Well they took her CPAP away because she didnt have enough hours on it. She only used it at night. She was waiting for an appointment to do a sleep study again so she could get the CPAP back. She kept asking can I stay till after aryans birthday? I said yes mom! She told my dad when she gets her own place she's taking the dog. The day of my sons party he caught a stomach bug so we had to cancel. We set it up for his actual birthday because my husband had the flu. So his birthday November 10th we had his party. We had fun. My cousin brought his blackjack set and everyone had fun. Me, my mom and my cousins wife got in an argument because my mom wanted me to dye her hair purple. We argued because we said you can't look for a professional job with purple hair! The party was over and she was having her last cigarette before bed and she said. Well that's it. I get to move out now. I rolled my eyes in irritation. I didnt know that, that was the last time I'd speak to her. In the morning my husband and I were getting ready to head off to work but we couldn't wake her up. We thought she was in deep sleep. Her breathing was funny but she always had trouble breathing in her sleep. I had my dad come babysit so we could go to work. I called my dad a couple hours later and he said she didn't wake up. I told him to try and if she doesn't cal 911. He did. I got home just in time to follow the ambulance to the hospital. I had to register her in. I sat alone and scared for 3 hours. They called me back to see her. She looked horrible. I stepped out to talk to the doctor. He said she lost oxygen to her brain in her sleep sometime and all her organs were shutting down. He said when they tried to put the respirator in her lungs she got vomit in her lungs so now she had pneumonia too. I slept in the hospital chair 2 days waiting for her to wake up. She was on life support and I hated that because she said never let me be on life support. I went home for a day. That night the hospital called and said I needed to sign her off because she was failing on it. So I called everyone to the hospital to say goodbye before I signed the form. I couldn't be in there. All I remember was how happy she was about her new outfit and her pretty red nails she just had done for the party. My cousin who is more like my brother stayed with her as they turned everything off. He came out crying. He said she didn't even take a breath. He said as soon as everything was off she was gone. She was 51. The next day the doctor called to schedule a sleep study. I said she died last night and hung up. I lost that year of my life by being numb. I didnt want to think of her gone. So now every year my sons birthday is a joy and the biggest heartache.

I know that was long. But it's a little hard to explain. The death certificate says she died 11/15/2009. To me it was 11/11/2009.

Oh, I am so sorry. That sounds incredibly difficult. May your dear mom rest in peace. You were a great daughter to her, and you were both mutually blessed by each other's presence.

Thank you for sharing your story of your mom. We have only so much time. Just today I attended the funeral for a friend's mother. She was 83...but my friend kept saying that she thought they'd have more time.

It is always a good thing to love and appreciate our family and friends everyday, because life is fleeting, and time is precious.

I wish you peace, friend.

S.C.

It won't. Everything is going to be okay. We are here for you, understanding and cheering you on.

Your stomach unrest is surely just anxiety manifesting itself. It is one of the most common symptoms afterall.

Try to relax to the best of your ability, and have a good trip.

S.C.

Thank you for sharing your stories with us, it must have been so hard to write that out. It sounds like you've dealt with some very traumatic things.. have you ever talked with a therapist or anyone about it? I have a phobia of getting sick too, and i noticed it got way way worse after my uncle died.. I think it definitely contributed to my health anxiety.

Mom, my Mother In Law always called me when she wanted something, She was in her 80's and was still a dumpster diver, she would call and say Larry I saw someone putting a perfectly good "whatever" in the dumpster by my house, would you come and get it for me. Yes I would and did, she was a colorful person who walked 2-4 miles every day regardless of the weather. When she died no one in the family had the money for the funeral, I told you about her inventorying my gun safe, well guess who was the one who emptied it to pay for everything, it took 10 days to raise the money but I never regretted doing it. "It was after everything was over that I realized something, this old boy Loved his Mother In Law".Peace Mommie

Larry ***

BKM,

You made it through your trip!! I am proud of you. :) I hope that all of your kiddos are fine...I am sure that they are. Don't you wish that they didn't have to say things like that? I have told my youngest daughter that unless it is really feeling like she is going to be sick, then she needs to say things like "I am so full" instead of "I feel like I want to throw up"...just for my peace of mind!;p

I am sorry to hear of the sad story in regards to your mom's things. It does sound like your dad is a person that you want to limit your time and attention to...and for that I am also sorry...but often that is necessary in order to be well for yourself and your family.

I am wishing you a peaceful and calm rest of the weekend, friend.

S.C.

Mommie, I have said this before on here, remember what Jesus said about who His Family was, Who is
my Mother, My Brother, My Sister, Those who follow My Father's commandments. The only reason I say
this is my daddy was like yours or worse, the family sent me to the jail to take him cigarettes when I was
in grade school, he just didnt care. Your not alone! Peace

Larry ***

Why me? Why do I have this intense phobia!

I haven't eaten much today just some cheese bread, an apple and a couple of these extremely sugary Dutch cookies. As I was eating my cookie my husband told me to go to the gym first. I immediately had a panic attack and got ready and went. Already in a panic state I walk in fumbling through my bag for my ear buds and phone. I passed 2 wet floor signs and then a cleanup cart. I headed for the treadmill in the far corner but I couldn't stop thinking about what I saw. I started to freak out thinking somebody vomited and there were particles everywhere. I lasted 10 minutes on it. I started to freak out really bad and started to sweat. So I headed upstairs to try and give myself a piece of mind. But it didnt work. I kept thinking about it and everytime I burped the sugary cookie kept coming up. I moved to weights and got a decent workout. Came home and showered because I felt contaminated.

I survived my trip barely. But I come home faced with that and now I'm a total train wreck again.

There are times of more intense stress, when our phobias and anxieties are just heightened. You also have just made it home after a stressful trip for you...and although you help it together...sometimes the anxiety comes on after the event.

I think of this as anxiety 'fallout'. It happens after the fact, perhaps as a result of pent up, or feelings that have been pushed aside for a time.

Your phobia is at a high level now, but it won't stay there. Do your coping skills...your anxiety in general will lower, and you will see your issue lessen.:)

You stayed and faced the fear, and that is a good step. Well done! You will gain some ground everytime you do this!

S.C.