Gas Leak

Well earlier today a few hours ago I noticed it smelled slightly strange and I mentioned something to my mom and she didn't really say anything at the time, but about 30 minutes after she went to check the clothes in the dryer and said it smelled like gas and that the dryer wasn't drying the clothes, which caused me to start freaking out.

I couldn't stop thinking about it now that she had said it smelled like gas which I hadn't even considered at first but after her saying that it did seem like a rotten egg type smell like the stuff they add to the gas to give it an odor. So basically anxiety kicks in and I feel dizzy and tired and I just had to go outside and get fresh air meanwhile my mom leaves to go to the bar and says nothing further.

Well then my Dad calls me (I don't live with him) and I tell him about it and while I'm on the phone with him my sister comes outside and says she thinks it smells funny and she even has a cold with a stuffed nose so now that's 3 people saying they smell something, the dryer not working properly and also a guy was doing some work in our basement over the last week. So at this point I'm afraid to go back inside and I call my mom and she basically just *****es me out, tells me to stop being a "sissy" and that I'm freaking out over nothing... But she does say she's coming back.

My sister and I then went across the street to get my grandma to see if she could smell anything and to tell her about it, but by then the dryer had been off and I had opened some windows and stuff so she didn't notice anything. My mom also gets back at the same time and turns the gas off and yells at me some more before leaving to go back to the bar.

I told my grandma how it upsets me that she would get mad at me for something that could seriously be a problem when even she said it smells like gas. My grandma agreed and said that my mom is good at yelling, and it never hurts to be safe.

Well my grandma went back home and I had went into the bathroom and just broke down for the first time in quite a while and I cried my eyes out. I was so upset that my mom would ***** me out and call me all these names and belittle me when I was seriously afraid that my brother, sister and I could be in danger while she is out at the bar obviously not worried because she wasn't even here. That on top of the anxiety and the possibility of real danger I was just overwhelmed. I actually almost started crying while still talking to my grandma but I manged to hold it in and speak clear and firmly...

I'm still just so upset because part of me is still afraid to be inside the house and to go to sleep and also that my mom doesn't seem to understand or care and always makes me feel worse and belittles me it truly makes me feel alone in my struggle.

Sorry for the long post, I don't know if anyone will even read it but I felt the need to get it out and I have no one else to tell and right now I'm tired and feel emotionally and mentally weak.

Hey kid, Call The Gass Company, NOW! Just lighting a cigarette could blow the house up! Hurry!
What ever that man did weakened a gas line! Please get someone who knows what they are doing to
check!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Larry ***

X,

You did the right thing in the situation, and I am saddened to hear how you were treated. If I understand correctly, both your dad and your grandmother are aware of the situation, and you can call them if future issues come up?

Know that you acted responsibly, and like the adult in the situation. Even though it feels awful to be put down by a parent, that does not dimish who you are...it simply means that your mom was being unkind, and not choosing her words carefully.

If you feel in the future that you or your siblings are not being cared for or protected, please don't hesitate to call a trusted adult and let them know what is going on in your household. Although you did a great job in this situation, it is not your responsibility to deal with these matters.

Wishing you peace and calm today. Let us know how you are doing soon, okay?

S.C.

Hey X,

Gender confustion happens here all the time...sorry! (some forums have the male and female symbols next to screen names for this reason.)

I think that you are validated in your feelings!...and again, I am sorry to hear about your mom's poor reaction.;(

Are you a minor, if I may ask? If so, I would again encourage you to talk to a trusted adult about the things that you are experiencing.

Keep talking with us as well. We are here to support and understand.

S.C.

I don't either.:(

I am glad that you were there for your siblings though...you can feel really good about that. It sounds like they need you to look out for them. Does this sort of thing happen a lot? That is pressure on you for sure.

S.C.

Yeah, but this time you were right!!

Well, you did the right thing and can still feel good about that.:)

I know how it is to feel 'blown off' when something comes up that is really cause for concern...many of our loved ones are kind of shut down to our anxiety, which is why it is great to be able to come here and be understood!

We are always here to understand.:)

S.C.

Yeah...I'll have to admit, I may have, sort of wished that my husband could have just a teensy quick panic attack to know what I have dealt with...not proud of this, but it's true!

S.C.

p.s. my family was on a hike on Sat. and I almost caught a little garter...guess who yelled 'No! It could be poisonous!' Hee hee...but seriously, I wouldn't do that to your mom...you'll just get busted!;p

X,

I think you got some excellent responses and advice in these posts. I'll add my little ^^ditto^^ to all of the above.

Heck, I'm 50 and my Mother still blows me off and diminishes things I relay to her that are very important and even potentially dangerous.

Sure, a part of me "intellectually" understands that our Moms were raised in a "different time," and as such, were taught by THEIR own parents, perhaps even punished by them, for similar reactions, so they sort of carry it over.  But "emotionally" speaking, it still hurts.

It's no excuse to belittle you or speak harshly to you. If anything, you could very well have saved the lives of your siblings and even the house. What you did was very smart. Perhaps your Mom would react less harsh to your younger siblings because in her mind, they have the "excuse" of being too young to react the same way SHE would react.

My Mother was the eldest of 14 children, and she got the brunt of backlash because it was thrust upon her to just "assume" she'd know how to, and be capable of, "taking care of" all those younger siblings.

Also ^^ditto^^ to,-- any time you're in question or do not feel safe, even if you're just teetering on "doubting" about something feeling unsafe, call a responsible adult you trust. Like others here, I've been in the same position. That said, frankly, I think you did quite well!

We're always here to lend our ears and shoulders!


Merrida

The only reason I told my Dad was because I was on the phone with him at the time anyways (he doesn't live with us. My parents have been divorced since I was 2 years old.) He told me to go get my Grandma to check and see what she thinks and also told me if I thought it was serious that I should call the fire department because they are right down the road from the house and it's better to be safe.

I didn't end up calling the fire department or anything like that, but did shut off the gas to the dryer which is where it was leaking in the fitting. I'm not sure I saved anybody's life... at least I don't think it was an immediate problem as it wasn't too bad but I guess you never know maybe if it was just left unchecked it could have gotten worse or enough of it could have pooled up.

Anyways, it's all fixed now and not leaking and I also want to note I don't mean to make my mom look like a bad person or evil or anything like that. I think she just tends to think my worries have no foundation because of my other previous health worries that ended up being nothing but anxiety. In this situation though she was definitely wrong but I can't stay mad at her or hold a grudge for that... even if it did upset me greatly at the time.

I know it's been a long time since you posted this and I don't even know if you're still on the thread, but I just found my gas on (very low) and . I havent been able to sleep at all this whole night (it's 6 am now) and I couldn't figure out why I have so much anxiety and my mind is racing. At 4 am, it felt like it had been at least an hour based on how much my mind raced, it had only been 12 minutes. That's how much.

I looked it up and sure enough, a gas leak can indeed cause anxiety. From how you spoke of your mother about returning to the bar and yelling at you for disrupting her there, it sounds like she drinks a lot. I don't know if this is correct obviously. If so, as hard as it is to deal with and this in no way excuses her emotional abuse that she displayed, addicts are more occupied with being intoxicated than anything else. If you are still there, is there any way you and your siblings can live with your grandma who you mentioned lives across the street or your father, depending on if these are good options? This may be a solution. It sounds like a very toxic environment for you all.

I hope that when you are able (if not already) and feel ready you seek counseling so that you can heal. I grew up with a physically and emotionally abusive father and a mother who often was in denial about it, so I understand how it feels. It's a horrible feeling, and anger often covers up the pain. Crying is a healthy outlet, do not let her or anyone tell you different. My dad's abuse would get worse if we cried when he was abusing us and would mock us like the bully he was or hit us more, which made me shut down completely to the best of my ability to avoid further abuse. This ended up triggering bipolar disorder and an anxiety disorder and I became an addict at 16 to stay numb. I got clean from that addiction at 18 (I'm 29 now), but still numbed off and on with other drugs and ways (even moving as far away as possible out of state for 5 years throughout my 20s by attending and making sure I did well in college and then graduate school, as I felt this was the only thing I was good at and was my ticket out). I finally found a good therapist that fit well with me 4 years ago and I still am not healed. I am finally starting to become ready to get to the deep emotional pain that I'm still disconnected from and have upped my sessions to twice a week.

Please know that you are not alone with what you are dealing with and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Remember that your situation is temporary and after the darkness comes the light.