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Kitt's Chemo was nasty.

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Anxiety & Panic Disorders
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Posted 9/18/2013 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
I think I have my mind in a good spot and I can deal with this and wham, everything falls down on my head.  I have been in a low place since Sunday and yesterday I was sick all day from chemo.

Today, I am trying my best to get back to where I was but I keep crumbling.......I want so bad to feel good again and not think about living with cancer forever........Chemo makes me sick and so dang anxious I can hardly walk on my wobbly legs.............

I ask my God to give me the strength, courage and grace to accept that this is my life.

Love to my family here in the A & P Forum.

 

Kitt

Posted 9/18/2013 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
Kitt,

You are such a giving person and should not have to feel this way.

I am sorry you have to go through the effects of the chemo and will
send prayers your way.

Best to you,
Ghost
Posted 9/18/2013 8:24 PM (GMT 0)
Kitt, I swear if I could jet over and give you a hug, I would...

...and that would not begin to help I know, but it would let you know how much I want this treatment to be all finished, and for you to be well and free of the anxiety and symptoms.

You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday.

S.C.
Posted 9/18/2013 9:46 PM (GMT 0)
I will send you a cyber-hug, then.

It's the next best thing.

You're always here helping and giving advice to so many of us. To see you in pain,....that hurts.

In my thoughts and prayers (and as a random little tid-bit, I never rreeaaallly kicked Catholic School, so yeah, I really do say my prayers, and I really do say them every night before bed).


Merrida
Posted 9/19/2013 1:30 AM (GMT 0)
Kitt, it is my Prayer for you that God will allow all of us to send You some of our strength. Peace!

Larry ***
Posted 9/19/2013 3:39 AM (GMT 0)
Oh, I'm so sorry!!! I know we haven't talked that much because I'm "newer" to the forum, but I do recall you having very nice and positive comments for me.

(((((hugs)))))
Posted 9/19/2013 4:18 AM (GMT 0)
I know healing&God can heal any sickness I admire your strength keep pushing.
Posted 9/19/2013 7:12 AM (GMT 0)
You are so strong, so wise and so giving of yourself, sweet Kitt.

But, you don't have to *always* be strong. You're allowed to be upset. Heck, I'd be toasting myself with a pity-party every now and then.

I hate cANCER and I HATE that you have to go through all of this.

Sending prayers for strength, happiness and healing - and like someone above said, I really do say my prayers every night. You, Kitt, have been a part of my prayers and my husbands prayers for a long time now.

Sending cyber-hugs and wishes of peace and happiness and acceptance.

LOVE YOU!
Posted 9/19/2013 4:39 PM (GMT 0)
Thinking of you and sending good wishes. You are an inspiration. Hang strong.
Posted 9/20/2013 12:19 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sooo sorry Kitt!

Keeping you in my prayers and thoughts!

UA
Posted 9/20/2013 1:40 PM (GMT 0)
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Feel better soon!
Posted 9/20/2013 7:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kitt,

I read your post here, last night. I hope that you are ok. I feel for your struggle, and I really hope that things turn out well for you :)

I really wish you well :) I can offer, very much, heart felt empathy and best wishes!! x

Post Edited (HappyBean) : 9/20/2013 1:22:13 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/20/2013 7:43 PM (GMT 0)
I'm thinking Jack and the bean stalk, err..because of my weird user name...Jack climbed the beanstalk, and I feel very much so that you will. I really love all the commitment and energy you put into your posts, much love Hayley
Posted 9/20/2013 10:11 PM (GMT 0)
:::::HUGS ::::::::

I will keep you in my prayers that you will feel much better very soon!
Posted 9/21/2013 7:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all,

Today I have been up, down and all over the place.  Our son who died would have celebrated a birthday today.  So the tears start and then I calm down only to burst into tears again.

I am seeing my Psychiatrist for therapy once a month now as the Oncology nurses talked to her to let her know they were concerned about me.  She rarely does therapy herself as she handles all the patients that are on medications.  I feel better after seeing her yesterday and also an increase in one of my meds.

But like all things we must work hard on keeping our anxiety reined in. I was good this morning until I realized the date..............I will be ok again.

With the wonderful support from all of you, I will stay afloat.  Forgive me for not participating much this week.

If you need anything personal - just shoot me an email.

Love and prayers,

Kitt

Posted 9/21/2013 9:30 PM (GMT 0)
Kitt,

Extra gentle hugs for you on this anniversary. I know that it never gets easier..nothing so tragic an unnexpected can. As mothers, we do not expect that possibility, ever.

Cry as you need to. Letting the tears out is part of getting through this day.

I am really glad that you are seeing your doctor for some help in therapy. What a blessing and good timing. Bless those angel nurses for speaking on your behalf! I wish you much progress with this time and opportunity.

Post when you want/need and are able. We always love you being here...but we also know that you have a lot that you are dealing with (understatement!) so we get it when you are on break with the 'Do Not Disturb Sign' on your door.

Love you my friend,

S.C.
Posted 9/22/2013 1:33 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kitt,

Sorry about your son. Death anniversaries can really affect us. We will always remember our loved ones. As S.C. said, cry as you need to. It will help you feel better.

I hope that the increase in meds help you.

Take Care
*Hugs*

UA
Posted 9/22/2013 5:55 AM (GMT 0)
so sorry kitt. I am sorry you have to go through the cancer and i'm sorry for the loss of your son. sometimes life can be so cruel - but I know you are strong and you will get through everything. it's weird how anniversaries of the deaths of our loved ones can affect us. I wish I could say something to take away your pain and anxiety about the unknown and what you are dealing with other than you have many friends on here who are rooting for you!!! stay strong and know you are loved. <3
Posted 9/22/2013 7:30 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone.  I am blessed to have so many wonderful friends here in the A & P Forum.  Some of you have been here as long or a bit longer than I have and some of you are new but we all have one thing in common, we need supportive, caring friends in our lives.

Today is a better day.  Yesterday afternoon was warm and sunny and we took Todd's Fall wreath to the cemetery and I stood there remembering all the good and thanking God for giving me good times in my life.

Love and hugs to all,

Kitt

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