Ruhr,Your last words made me cry as I know exactly what you mean. "I don't like NOT feeling normal. I'm missing out on the good things in life by staying in."
The very first drug I was ever prescribed 31 years ago for my anxiety/depression was Elavil and I ran into the irregular, pounding, fast heartbeat. My Dr. switched me from Elavil to Nortriptyline and I did the best with this drug of any, including the one I am on now. I took it faithfully every night for >10 years and did not need a whole cupboard full of other meds.
The dry mouth went away and no issues with fast heart rates. One day it just pooped out on me and the next med I do not remember but I was never as good again as I was on the Nortriptyline.
Are you taking the Elavil at bedtime as I always did and slept fine. Now all my meds I take in the morning and I truly would love to be normal whatever that is anymore. I have lost tract but I suspect my life is far from normal.
Blessings,
Kitt