Now I am really scared.

I saw the doc, and she did nothing to alleviate my worry. She's sending me for a CT scan tomorrow and a 'renal stone protocol' to rule out kidney stones.

When I asked, "What's the likelihood that it won't be something treatable?", she kinda shrugged and said, "Welllll, it's hard to speculate."

Then the nurse scheduled my scans tomorrow and said if my symptoms get worse before then, to go to the ER.

I'm scared to death now.

I'm home alone, and I fear I'm going to have to go alone to this thing tomorrow--what if they tell me something terrible? My husband is my only family in the world, and he's always super paranoid about taking time off of work unless it's an emergency, and I'd have to be in the ER for him to consider it as such.

Not to mention that I haven't paid a dime toward my $5,000 deductible and I can't afford these tests to begin with.

I don't know what's going to happen. Anxiety has taken over and interpreted all of this as my doctor thinks I'm dying and doesn't want to tell me until she knows for sure. I haven't cried like this in what feels like years.

Thanks, Kitt.

Is it weird that I think I'd be relieved at this point if it were kidney stones? The pain has been on both sides, though more predominately on the left.

I guess all this mystery and buildup and the doctor not wanting to speculate after my question about whether or not it's likely something treatable... kidney stones would be a solid answer that I know can be helped.

That's the bad thing about NOT googling, I guess. A big void of possibilities without any ideas to narrow it down.

My scans are today, this afternoon. I've taken today and yesterday off of work. The pain isn't terrible right now, and it's easy to feel a little more at peace when I don't feel it as strongly. But I'm expecting another big flare up of anxiety when it gets closer to time.

Thanks, S.C. Not sure what I'd do without you and Kitt with your calm, logical responses.

I'm heading to get the scans in about 20 minutes, and I'm a bit calmer right now. More than anything at this point, I just want them to take the scans and send me on my way. I'm kinda dreading the possibility that they'll see something and send me to the ER straight away. Guess I'll just have to play it by ear.

I'll be back with an update, hopefully.

Risa,

I am guessing by now you may be having your scan or are done.  Once the tests are done I usually calm down as I know I will have an answer soon one way or the other. For me having an answer is better than being in the dark.

After having many test over the years I am able to just let go of the worry of the outcome results as I know someone will notify me and worrying about when won't change the results either.

Remember techs cannot read the scans and anything they may say or mumble means nothing at this point so try not to interpret any body language, repeat of an area already scanned or a big sigh from the techs.  If they ask someone to come in and look at the screen it could be they are just making sure they have captured good films.  That big sigh by the tech may mean he/she is just waiting for lunch time to get here.

The excruciating limbo that follows significant medical tests is a nearly universal experience for patients. You are in good company, Risa, and I have prayed that you will learn the results of your scan soon but I suspect God is getting a ton of requests similar to mine 24/7.  When you receive your news be sure to have pen and paper to write down what the Dr. says as we often listen so hard we miss the body of the message.

Big smile and a big breath, know we are right here waiting to hear from you because we care.

Love and hugs,

Kitt

 

:) :) :)

Nah, it is a symbiotic thing for me...I get way more out of being a part of this forum than I put in!;p Our members are the best!!!

S.C.

Merrida,

Thank you for your kind and supportive words, I really do appreciate them. Coming here daily allows me to do what I like to do best and that is to help others.

It takes a community of exceptional members to make a forum successful and being a peer to all of our members here in the A & P Forum is a genuine  honor for me.

I am so glad you are part of the A & P Family.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt 

 

Risa,

Chug it down as sipping is torture.  I am glad they let you go home to drink it.  Our hospital makes you come an hour early so you drink the barium in the waiting room.  Some people must not have been drinking all of it as instructed.

I choose the berry flavor not that it is good but I try to imagine I am drinking a chocolate shake.  OK, I know, I have a wild imagination.

My daughter handed me a straw to use one day and I just laughed.  If I stop swallowing I have the urge to toss the whole bottle in the trash and blow that popsicle stand..............in favor of finding the nearest Dairy Queen.

You can do this and we will still be right here waiting to hear from you.

Love,

Kitt

I'm the odd one out.

I actually liked the flavor of it. Go figure. There's one in every crowd.



Merrida

 

No ER!!!  That is a good sign...they never would've let you out the door if you were not okay!

I am sure that it is going to be just fine...and now you get all the fun/excitiement and mystery of the anticipatory waiting!

...oh wait...we hate that hugh?

Aaaaarrrggg!:(...I am sorry...the waiting is the worst, but we are here with you to keep you company and reassure you.

Will you get the results some time next week?

S.C.

RisaA, eat something nasty that alway helps lolololo.

You can rest assured that if it was bad you would be watching tv in a gown that shows everything when
you get up! My experience was they told me they wanted to do more tests but the tech was not coming
in until monday, by then I was scheduled for surgery, give yourself some Peace you have been through
a lot!

Larry ***