Health Anxiety Please Help!

I have been reading these forums for about 5 months now, figured I would finally sign up and post. My health anxiety is out of control and it is ruining my life. I am 30, a smoker (about 1/2 - 3/4 pack a day), non drinker, not very active, slighty over weight (6'1 230 lbs). Back in May '13 I got epididymitus (testicle infection). I was pretty relaxed about it at first, but the medication I was put on really started messing with me mentally. I was put on doxycycline, then the bladder stuff started happening, so the doctor, without any testing, put me on cipro & flagyl which really messed my mind up. I had a really bad reaction to it. Then I finished with bactrim. Now, I have never broken a bone or had any serious illness my whole life, and this really took me by surprise. So, I did the worst thing ever ... google. I learned of all the stuff out there that I could get and ever since then I have developed this anxiety. It's affecting my job and my marriage. Every week I have a new symptom - lump in throat (throat cancer), frequent urination (bladder cancer, kidney infection), dizziness (brain tumor), irregular bowel movements and flecks of blood ... the blood is very very rare and I havent had it for about 2 months now (colon cancer, ibs, crohns, diverticulitis), chest pain (heart failure, lung cancer), ringing in ears (brain tumor, sinus infection, ear infection), neck pains (spinal tumor, lymphoma), the list goes on and on. I'm driving my wife crazy. the symptoms only last about a week and never get it again. Right now my right leg is kind of crampy and tingly (blood clot, stroke), but the blood is definietly running through my leg and have all motor skills, plus it has been about 8 hours now, so i think if i was going to have a stroke i would have by now. to be clear the stuff in parentheses is what I think/thought I have/had. I have been to the hospital dozens of times for urine samples, blood work, ultra sounds, xrays, I even went to a urologist for a cystoscopy. I don't have insurance so I have spent tons of money on this stuff. Everything has come back normal. I always think they missed something, or they don't care about me. I think about how many people die from medical malpractice, and doctor's scare the crap out of me. All I do is lay in bed on my days off and think about all the things that are wrong with me and how I am dieing. Even when I'm doing stuff like working or shopping, i feel dizzy and stuff, but I have never fainted or fell over or anything. I like to think I am a smart fella. I try to think of things that prove my hypochondria, like when I am really involved in something, I seem to be symptom free, but as soon as I let my mind wonder, it is so hard to pull myself out of these thoughts that I have some serious, life-threatening illness. It's hard to talk to my wife about this, or anyone I know for that matter, because they just don't understand what I am going through. Lately, I feel like I'm in a dream or a robot. Just going through the motions of life without actually enjoying it anymore. I can't take much more. I'm not suicidal or anything, in fact, I'm terrified of dieing! lol. I'm thinking I should see a therapist or something and try and get this resolved, but I'm scared of the money that will cost ... and if it will work, plus, I'm really scared to take any kind of medication, I have heard such bad things about xanax and prozac, etc, but I'm almost at the point now where I know I can't beat this by myself. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I have really come to like this community, even though I haven't posted til now, I have read tons of threads.

Sorry this is so long!

Hello and welcome to you both.:)

Health anxiety is a common theme around here! You are not alone in these fears, as from reading other's posts, you will undoubtably recognize a lot of your own concerns.

It is amazing how powerful our fears can be...manifesting themselves in physical symptoms, that in turn cause more anxiety and on and on in a vicious cycle.

One way to break this downward spiral is in redirecting our thinking patterns. CBT is an excellent and proven technique for learning how to do just this.

Therapists can teach this skill, but there is also self-help available as well if therapy is not an option due to money or availability.

In our Resources, we have links to books specifically on health anxiety recovery. Books such as these can be a very effectice self-help step.

Posting here is key as well. It is good to be understood and supported by those who know what you are going through. We do, and are here anytime.

I hope that you will both keep talking with us. :)

Scaredy Cat

thanks guys. I'll definitely check out those links. on a side note, lo and behold, my leg feels normal this morning. It's just so frustrating....

my right leg is bothering me again today. it doesn't really hurt, just feels cramped or something. It's starting to really freak me out. I really don't want to google my symptoms because I kbow the first thing that is going to pop up is cancer. there's no discoloration, although I do have a bruise that is yellow, but bruises usually are yellow with me. It's not sensitive to touch, going numb or anything like that. is it possible that is just cramped? it's been about 24 hours now. if it were a blood clot, would it be getting much worse in that amount of time? can anxiety cause this type of symptom? I have been on my feet for about 3 hours now and it hasn't gotten any better ... or worse. any thoughts?

a little bit more about me - when I was 17 I had a very realistic dream that I wasn't going to live past my 29 birthday, but I'm 30 now. interesting enough, my epididymitis occured near my 30th bday. I just want to feel normal again, I'm sure most of you say the same things to yourself. I wad promoted at work a month ago. I took over 2 stores at a very high volume mall in las vegas. I want to be the guy that can handle it, but I'm afraid I'm not. It's nice to have financial security, but I'm not sure if the stress is worth it.

thanks for listening.

well, I'm sitting in the er. my leg hasn't gotten better, my right arm felt achy and crampy last night, and this morning my entire right side went numb. I can't ignore this and chauk it up to anxiety. I don't think it is a stroke, I have motor functions, can talk, and am coherent. hope I get some answers.... I'm also going to ask for a therapist recommendation. enough is enough. missing more work ... I hope I don't lose my job...

Hi MrHypochondriac, and thanks for your reply on my post earlier. I came to the same conclusion today as you, that it's time to seek out professional help. I guess the first step is recognizing that there's a problem! Obviously my anxieties are different from yours, which you know from reading my post, although I have health related anxieties sometimes. I'm 37 and have lost both of my parents...20 years ago my mother to cancer and 5 years ago my dad to heart disease. So I worry that I might get something like that, especially cancer. about three months ago I discovered a small lump like object a couple inches above my belly button. I did research online and had all but convinced myself that I had some form of cancer. It didn't matter that I had absolutely no symptoms. I spent a very difficult and stressful weekend thinking about it and worrying about dying young, leaving my daughter without a mother, etc. I made a doctor's appointment with my physician. Long story short, after being checked out and having an ultrasound test, the doctor diagnosed it as being a harmless lipoma, basically a soft tissue bulge where my appendectomy scar is. I was quite relieved and even though it's still there, I try not to think about it. It doesn't bother me and doesn't stick out, so I live with it. But I had myself convinced for a few days that I had cancer and was utterly consumed with anxiety. What a crapty weekend that ended up being! Every now and then I get a scare...I might get a sharp pain in my head or chest and think "Stroke!" "Heart attack!" "Aneurysm!". So I get health anxieties too, although mine might not be as extreme as yours. My anxieties manifest in other ugly ways. The "what ifs" seem to dominate our minds. It starts to affect other parts of our lives. I told my boyfriend tonight that I have to nip this in the bud before it gets worse! So I guess I'll be calling my doctor and hopefully getting a referral to a therapist. Sounds like you have a similar plan. Good luck to you!

Hey Mr. Hypochondriac. I'm right there with you. My health anxiety is the biggest trigger for my frequent panic attacks (besides fear of the attacks themselves). I'm really so sorry that you're dealing with panic attack disorder, as I know how truly devastating and debilitating it can be. You're in the right place, though! Everyone here understands. Since I joined just a week or so ago I have gotten an overwhelming amount of support and empathy.

As for antidepressants to avoid, that's really not something anyone can tell you. Everyone reacts differently to these medications. Where one works excellently for one person, another individual may not do well on it. My psychiatrist prescribed Paxil and Xanax to me this Wednesday and I've had an increase in anxiety with the Paxil. I suppose that's what the Xanax is for. ;) Many antidepressants cause some slight discomfort at first and can take a few weeks to reach their full potential, but it is often worth it when they finally begin working as they are meant to. Just do your best to follow your doctor's instructions and stay in touch with them throughout the first few weeks of treatment. Let them know about any unpleasant side effects you might experience. I can tell you that I have been off and on antidepressants since I was 12 and have most often not noticed any side effects when starting them. This time is different, but I am almost certain it's because of my severe anxiety. It's just become so unmanageable that every little sensation I feel is a cause for concern in my mind, even if it shouldn't be.

how are you doing today. I am a fellow Health Anxiety sufferer. Right now going through a bad time. been 10 months. have had mri, heart tests etc. longest 10 months..so much work. One step at a time and we will get though. I am home so you can always post if you need someone to talk to. I see a therapiest and take paxil cr. You will get better.