frustrating emotions

My brother was married yesterday. It was beautiful and great to have the family together. Lots of smiles and tears. So, I was sitting by myself at the reception taking a break from all the people and a guy I should probably know but don't sat next to me. I like when people like to talk, but his opener was "I noticed you don't talk and are extremely jumpy. Your parents beat you as a child didn't they." He kept going and all I could do was stare at him. Eventually I left him there talking to himself. I have been in panic mode since then. I know I shouldn't care what an idiot stranger thinks, but I feel like my shortcomings resulted in a negative evaluation of my parents and I'm not alright with that. My family is and always has been amazing. I am feeling incredibly anxious about things I cannot change. I don't want to be around anyone and I feel like I just need to scream. Unfortunately I am physically incapable of screaming. It was such a great day and I want to be happy for my brother but that emotion is being overridden.

I agree with S Cat.  I think this guy's comments do not reflect in any way on either you or on your parents, but instead reflect only on him.   Don't let this guy add to your anxiety. 

I had a friend,"Dora",with severe mental problems. She was always thinking that people were believing things about her that wasn't true. She once thought that my Mom was laughing at her because my Mom had smiled! She would ask ones if they were thinking that she stunk. Here in the south, we have a saying "You poor thing!" that we use when we're sympathizing/empathizing with someone. We learned to never use that phrase with Dora b/c she would take it that we were calling her poor, as in pitiful and penniless! Anyway, it sounds like this guy was kind of like her in that he assumed the very worst just b/c you were sitting alone! If anything, feel sorry for him. he apparently has some big problems of his own! Don't let him bring you down with his assumptions. You can be sure that no one else felt the way he did!
Take care! peace!
jl

Hi. That is a very rude thing to say. I have had many people say things like this to me too. One time I was on a break at work and some guy who worked there as well came up to me and said , "why don't you ever talk to anyone? Thats really weird", and then just walked away. (I never really got along with anyone at this one place I worked). One time a family member even called me antisocial at a memorial service when I was sitting by myself (I have forgiven them for this, though). I think you did the right thing by just walking away. Unfortunately some people have nothing better to do with their time than to try to point out the flaws in other people. There is nothing wrong with sitting by yourself for a while if that is what you want to do. I don't feel like being social or talking a lot of the time either, (because of anxiety and depression). I think all that matters is that you know who you are, and you know that you have a good family as well. I know how frustrating this must be, because there are times where I wish I would have defended myself when someone makes a comment, but at the same time i'm glad that I didn't, because sometimes when someone says something that is clearly wrong, it is better to not even acknowledge them or what they said. A good way to look at it is that, if you have an experience where you feel judged by someone, you can use the experience as a reason to always try to be the best person you can be. I feel like my own experiences have made me far more understanding than I used to be and less likely to judge. I hope this helps.

Lani, what we are saying is "he" was out of line and crude, no matter what you feel, "he" was wrong!

What does matter is we Like you and would not do you that way! Peace

Larry ***