I've been feeling much better, set new goals and am doing a decent job with them. The one thing that's really frustrating me now (almost to a comical point) is that since I have been feeling better I feel like my head constantly throughout the day is saying "whatever you do, DO NOT think about
your anxieties" which naturally causes me to think about
them. The good thing is that they don't really bother me as much anymore and I'm not falling for that backdoor spike as much, but it's to the point where I know I do not need to think about
them. I know that if I am not thinking about
them, they won't magically happen yet I cannot stop thinking "whatever you do, do not think about
them." I'm sure it's habit and it's a form of me checking.
What I did was I made a list of things to think about or do when I feel it start to come on. They range from me thinking about my dog, to counting to 100 to starting a conversation - basically a list of about ten things. I feared before that if I did this, I would be just pushing the anxieties aside and not confronting the problem, but now since I have hit this from almost every angle I am comfortable saying I'm not just "pushing this aside" but I am instead trying to move on. I'm curious if this sounds like it makes sense to anyone.