Hello again, first I would like to say thank you to those of you who helped me out previously. Your answers were very helpful. I hate to return bearing the brunt of negativity, but I have some more questions I'm afraid, specifically about
the symptoms I've been suffering for over a year now.
I've been on other HealingWell forums here asking around, but I don't get much in the way of answers. Basically I'm frightened of having a chronic illness called LPR. It's like GERD/acid reflux, but it's almost incurable - only surgery can even slightly relieve it, and even then it's got a 50/50 chance of working at best. This is a big deal for me as I have a profound fear of being ill for life. It's also pretty tough to diagnose, but when you get it there's no way to get rid of it. I don't want to take meds, I don't want to change diets or lifestyle, I don't want to consider surgery and I don't want to have to live in fear of LPR or any illness. I just want my former life back.
Despite what I just said, I've been taking all the steps to try and figure out what is happening to me, as well as how to fix it all.
My symptoms are as follows: - A burning throat at random times. There's no pattern to my diet or actions; sometimes the same food can make me burn one day but not another. The burning temporarily stops when I swallow but it quickly comes back. Even water causes it, and PPIs/H2 blockers can't stop it.
- Throat clearing after eating, and a tickly throat from time to time, usually right after...
- Belching. Constant, constant belching. If I take a sip of water, I belch. If I eat anything I belch. I belch as soon as I wake up and when I so much as stand up, or bend over, or wiggle. Again water alone causes it. The belches are strange - they go up into my throat as 'bubbles' and are released as tiny bubbles rather than one big burp. They almost always cause me to clear my throat, but they themselves don't burn. In fact sometimes they temporarily stop the burning as they move up my throat.
- A lump in the throat sensation. And yes, anxiety can cause it, but the burping causes it too.
- Sheer anxiety/depression over the fact I may have this illness for the rest of my life.
And these are the meds/changes I've tried: - H2 Blockers/PPIs; 5 types in total across the whole year. No effect.
- Gaviscon Advance liquid. It can relieve the lump in the throat for a few minutes, but otherwise has no effect.
- Lifestyle and Diet changes from raising the bed to special reflux diets to fasting to limiting my activities and suchlike. Nothing works.
- Antidepressants of various kinds. All they do is make me tired; they aren't tackling the symptoms at all.
- CBT, hypnotherapy and other approaches. Nothing.
Tests include: - Endoscopy. Clear
- Barium Swallow. Clear.
- ENT throat check. Clear.
- Rapid Spit Test.
NOT CLEAR. Found stomach enzyme called "Pepsin" in my saliva. Only a trace amount, but that proves reflux was happening.
- Waiting on a 24 ph test and manometry.
I really find it hard to believe anxiety can cause me such real symptoms, especially since there are no patterns to it all, and it doesn't happen when I keep thinking about
it. Likewise it can happen out of nowhere. when I'm sat enjoying myself, say watching a film or driving. Again, even water can cause it all. Alkaline filtered water, which if I'm correct, is meant to stop burning/reflux problems, right? There really is no pattern to my food causing it - I've kept a diary to be certain. Once I ate the same meals at the same times for 3 days in a row, and burned on 2 of them but not on 1 of them for some, unknown reason despite being equally anxious.
The only thing that keeps me sane is the slight possibility of anxiety being behind this. Last year I had a roundabout
problem relating to health anxiety about
my heart. Because of that, nobody believes me, including my family and GP. They think my depression is an act, that I'm trying to get attention and that it's "all in my head." It's not as easy as taking my mind off it all; if it was I'd be cured by now. It just hurts so much. I can't eat, drink or do anything I used to love. Food/Drink/Activity are quality of life itself; I miss so much of it all. I walk past people in the streets binging on junk food, many of them will probably never get ANYTHING wrong with them. These symptoms have cost me my friends and my dream job. This disease is testing my faith too; I stopped following my former religion because I just can't believe in a deity who would willingly let people suffer like this...
I'm only 22 - am I going to be like this for the rest of my life? Is it really possible stress could be behind all this, despite all I've mentioned? I concede my symptoms began during the most stressful part of my life, but I keep getting told on forums etc - and these are real words - "You have LPR. End of story.
Stop deluding yourself. " I even have a positive spit test result used for things like LPR. What am I going to do? I don't want to just learn to cope or adjust, I want to be me again. No more fearing when symptoms will begin. No more limiting my quality of life. No more wishing myself dead every time the symptoms worsen. Just, no more symptoms, regardless of what they are.
Sorry to rant on and on, I just never get a chance to vent like this. Even right now as I type this, there's gas moving up my throat in a bubble, my throat is slightly burning away, and it just won't stop. If anyone can offer any positive opinions on this, I'd be grateful. I'm really stuck in a rut right now - I've had some dark thoughts because I just can't face a lifetime of this, I'm not strong enough to. Thank you.
Post Edited (Daxter) : 12/7/2013 11:55:00 AM (GMT-7)