kc,I am sorry to hear of the issues you have had to deal with. Don't hold all men responsible for the mistake your ex made. Why should they pay for the sins of someone else who may have wronged you? You did not need the pathologically lying sociopath for the frosting on your cake.
After I read your post I was proud of you for making the decisions you did and now may be the best time to see a therapist until you feel you can trust yourself to be OK without a man in your life.
Learn to trust again — by trusting yourself. Trust is not about how much you trust one person or another to do right or wrong. How much you trust another person is a function of how much you trust yourself to be strong enough to deal with their imperfections. Have enough faith in yourself to be able to put yourself on the line with someone, without any guarantee of what will happen next. If you're playing the game with sweaty palms, it's because you're afraid of what you can or can't do, or dealing with your own imperfections — it's not about the other person.
Even a well-intended guy is going to hurt his partner. He's going to hurt your feelings. He's going to say things that you don't want him to say. He's going to do things you wish he wouldn't do and not do things you wish he would do. A relationship is an imperfect union between two willing spirits who say, ''I'd rather be in a relationship and share my life, share my joys, share my fun, share my activities, share my life than do it alone." If you want to be in a relationship, know that getting hurt comes with the territory. You just have to decide that you are durable enough, that you have enough confidence in yourself that you can handle it.
For now take a break and let your mind and body heal from all the trauma; believe that you will find someone who is wonderful and you will feel good about the relationship.
Coming here and talking with us was a wise thing to do.
Kindly,
Kitt