:( I am sorry that you are going through this.
I see now that you are seeing a P-doc...so ignore that part of the post...but here is my last response to you that you may not have seen?
https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=2952307
Perhaps intensive therapy and work such as used in CBT...worksheets, exercises/coping skills, ect...could help you find relief without the meds?
I hope that you find the answers that you need soon.
S.C.