Do you remember what it was like ...... That very day change you life

Do you remember what you was doing or where you was at the day before this nightmare started ....

For me it was a Friday night end of August 2012 , I was cleaning my house because the realtor was bringing people pass to see it , so I was making sure it was clean before leaving out to my sisters house for the weekend , my sister kept calling me to hurry up so we could make it to dinner , me and my son got in my car got on the road it was a 45min drive , we arrived at my sisters house and her and my two nephews hot in the car and we went to Outback Steakhouse , I ordered the wings , we ate and went back to my sisters house , kids was playing and me and my sister was talking we all started watching a movie , and fell asleep , I woke up around 3am and was having extra heart beats really fast , the kids was all in the bed with us and my sister was on the other side sleep , I got up grab my purse and took one of my beta blockers , I thought ok , I do have a history of extra heArtbeats , heRe and there , so I took it and then went to the bathroom as I went to the bathroom and was coming up the steps it felt as if my heart dropped , and I panicked , woke my sister up and she rushed me to the ER , they did bloodwork , EKG , etc I was fine , next few days was Labor Day , went back to work and one morning woke up felt samething went to er , from there I was at er everyday and had to stay in the hospital for 5 days , and the story goes , on and on and on , after a bunch of doc , testing , threapy , today on this date I'm a mess .....


I go back to that date cause I guess I try to figure out How , why , what went wrong , .....Why ..... I was normal , and BAM ......

No real stress , I mean yes I was coming out of a 15 yeAr relationship , but nothing I could not handle ,

My son was not dx with leukemia until may 2013 , so all this happen before hand

I just don't understand what happen , ....

I wish I knew then maybe I can get a grip of how this work&put a stop to it all I know is the feeling all to well,of a strange emotion I never knew that make one feel out of body&I thought I was dying&thought something was wrong with my mind&I went to the mental ward because I was loseing it and felt no control at all just how I feel today. And I also wish I knew what I said to myself to help me snap out of it from 19 to 28 & have more control then Ive had it is like it go away&come back 10xs worse&last year it came back,and it was trying to before then but I kept talking myself down. But I know stress can start it up anxiety is painful but the stress is harsh,and so hard at times to get through and I search for answers every where.

Looking forward is always preferrable to looking back.

While it is good to try and identify any triggers that can catch us off guard, I believe that our focus is best spent on learning coping skills, and in doing all that we can to recover and continue managing our anxiety to the best of our abilities...whatever that entails for us as individuals.:)

Keep moving into the future towards your goals everyone! There is hope and healing to be found in it!

S.C.

1982,  I was fine and just taken a Benadryl for allergies 10 minutes before and all of a sudden I just started to feel anxious, trembling, crying and scared to the point where I could not let go of my husbands arm.  He called my best-friend who lived across the street who came right over and being a nurse she assessed I was having an anxiety attack.

It was a week-end so no access to my Dr. My friend spent the week-end walking with me in the moon light as I could not sleep and would work myself up into high anxiety.  I would call Rose who threw on her close and we walked the neighborhood in the moon-light at 3:00 AM.  When I finally got to sleep it was time to get up with my 4 children and my hubby.

Here I am all these years later and I have learned to live with anxiety and depression as the two often go hand in hand.

I accept that I have anxiety.

 

Kindly,

Kitt

Mine started 2004,I was driving home from the airport after a shift with United Airlines. I was on the expressway and all of a sudden I felt weird and thought I was dying. I pulled over,jumped out crying and waving for help,no one stopped. A teenager walking below under the expressway heard me and ran for someone to call 911and thats where the nightmare began...I had to quit my job as a gate agent because everytime I went to work it happened and the ambulance was called doing work or after. I stopped driving for months, I would find myself calling 911 because the attacks started happening everytime I drove. I still have issues driving on the expressway and avoid as much as possible.

Mine was April, 2010

Though I always worried a little bit (which stems from my mom and grandma both being worriers), it was my first official panic attack. Rhode Island had historical floods and many roads and highways were under water. My 10 minute commute home from work took nearly 4 hours. I had an SUV at the time. I just sat there listening to music to pass the time. I talked to my husband on the phone. All of a sudden, I felt a hot flash, my heart started pounding and I got so dizzy like I would pass out. I rolled down my window and told someone in the car next to me to call 911 if they saw me pass out. At the time I had no idea what it was... I thought (and prayed) that it was a one time thing.

I had about 3 more within the next month - the worst coming after I took a decongestant for a sinus infection. Had all the same symptoms and added dry heaving and my extremities going numb. That was the first (and so far only) ER trip for an actual panic attack. I was back this past summer for the PVCs (I guess that could be considered anxiety related).

Now 4 years later, though the Remeron has decreased the amount and severity, I can recognize when I feel it coming on and can somewhat distract myself until it passes.

What I would give to feel like my old self again...

My first PA was around midnight waking me up out of a sound sleep. I was 17 and had worked my first day at my first job earlier that day. I never thought I was having a heart attack. I new I was scared. It was as clear to me as a sunny sky. My life went downhill from there. But the seeds of fear and anxiety had been sown many years before when I was a small child and cultivated as I grew older. I won't go into all that, but suffice to say that if I could go back, I would rather nont. I just try to live day by day until I get this life over with.
Janet

I don't think I remember ever "not" having panic and anxiety. When I was a child, I would get these whole body "seizures" where I'd tremble and couldn't stop. I was constantly "getting sick" in school (we're talking grammar school, and I had symptoms well before then even).

My Mom would have to come pick me up, I'd vomit, get dizzy, panic, and had the worst health anxiety I could imagine.

I can remember having full blown attacks when I was younger than 4 years old,...so it's been this constant part of my life.

I would have periods of a year or two where they'd be almost gone, then I'd get them suddenly.

I get them a whole lot less now than I ever used to (the panic attacks).

The last one I had was several years ago when I was convinced I was having a stroke and my Husband had to drive home (from over 2 hours away at work) to bring me to the hospital, where I stayed for 4 hours, only to be told I was having a panic attack.

But I've had them before, and this one "felt different," I was convinced!

That was the first and only time my Husband actually got angry with me (he was in his uniform on a way to a meeting, so my timing was dreadful).

Now when I get them, they're not as intense, and he asks me if that's what's happening, I tell him yes, and he knows most of the time, I just need to be left alone.

Communication!

I think that's why I try very hard to not dwell on the past and analyze the "why's" but try to focus on handling whatever goes on now.



M.