fear of flying myself and son any tips?

Ive booked a holiday to florida this year but im scared of flying and although ive always hidden it or tried to my son has same fear ! Ive started on effexor and pregabalin as I also have GAD so hoping that may help but don't know how to help my son, has anyone got any advice ? He is 13 and keeps saying he doesn't think he can do it. Its such a lot of money for us to be so worried but my other son and husband are looking forward to it, any ideas greatly appreciated.

Hi Marie,
It is great that you have been proactive for yourself and gotten those 2 prescriptions. The best treatment for phobias is exposure therapy. I'm sure he will do great. First, have your husband and other son talk to him and explain to him how fun and thrilling flying in an airplane is & answer any questions he has. If he is still struggling, then the trick is to work on it little by little. Start with something that provokes some anxiety (maybe 7/10), but doesn't send him into a complete spiral -- for example, by having him look at a cartoon drawing of an airplane for 10 seconds. When he is comfortable with that (maybe 5/10), then up the ante -- have him look at it longer. Then longer. Then switch it from a cartoon drawing to a still photo of an airplane for 10 seconds. Then longer. Then longer. Then switch to showing a 10 second muted video clip of an airplane. Then longer, until he is able to watch a whole documentary video of a flight show or a pleasant airplane ride:
with music: www.ganges.com/Relaxing_Video_Of_Airplanes_video_5513834/
Last step, with plane & pilot audio: www.aviafilms.com/free-airplane-videos.php
(well, technically, the last step is to go to the airport & get on the airplane -- if you live near the airport, before the day of your flight someone could drive with him out to the airport & go in as far as the security checkpoint. that way he can feel even more comfortable up to that point on the day of the flight.)

Also, wanted to share this website with you about conquering the fear of flying -- their 5-4-3-2-1 strategy is really helpful to me with my own fears: www.fearofflying.com/

Hope that helps! Keep encouraging him! He can do it & after a bit of practice likely will even find flying to be truly enjoyable. He will have all of you there with him, can bring books/music/photos to keep him entertained, & U.S. pilots are the best in the world -- incredibly skilled at their job. Best of all, the reward for him getting on the plane (besides the ride) is landing in Florida. Can't beat that!

Sounds like you've planned a wonderful holiday! Sending positive thoughts your way ---> :D

I always get Xanax before I fly, but I try not to use it. Knowing it's there if I need it helps me stay calm without it. Does that make sense. The last time my family went to Florida I was absolutely fine flying. We have started going on trips once a year and I do think the repeated exposure has helped me. Also my kids are now old enough to notice me taking a pill and I don't want them to think that that's what they need to do to stay calm themselves. I don't know if this is the same for everyone, but I feel most afraid when we first get off the ground and when we start descending. Also if there is extreme turbulence. Someone once told me that it's just pockets of air though and I always remind myself of that when things get rough. Try to take your mind and your son's mind off of it by bringing some relaxing magazines or books, music, maybe even a downloaded movie if you have something to watch it on. I like to pack snacks and I buy a water bottle before I get on the plane. If your son has told you he is nervous I think it's good to share that you get nervous too and you can face it together. It'll be soooo worth it when you get to sunny Florida! Have a great time on your trip.