HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Feeling hopeless as Dr's appt draws near

Support Forums
>
Anxiety & Panic Disorders
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 2/19/2014 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to follow up on some bloodwork that was done about 2 weeks ago and to discuss some symptoms I am continuing to have. As the appointment nears, I feel like I am getting increasingly anxious and losing hope that the doctor will be able to help me. I am so exhausted from not sleeping, not eating, and worrying and I feel like I am losing hope for ever feeling better. My list of symptoms is about a mile long and I feel like my doctor already thinks I'm crazy and is going to dismiss me. I keep trying to tell myself that this is the anxiety making me feel this hopelessness, but you all know how tough that can be :/

I am just a big ball of nervousness and sadness right now and feeling alone. Trying to bring myself back down, but not really having much success. Thanks for reading.
Posted 2/19/2014 4:52 PM (GMT 0)
Hi sweetie. You are definitely not alone! As you know when so kindly helped me the other day, I'm in the same boat. Hang in there, it's almost over. You will meet your doc and know what's what. I'm here for you if you want to talk and please know that i'm praying for you.
Big hugs
Eli
Posted 2/19/2014 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
PS I have an EMG tomorrow! I'm sooo scared, i'm frozen! And as a result, and oddly functional. It's like my terror is so overwhelming, my brain is refusing to register it! This is my second EMG! Then Friday i'm at the Neuro's office!
Posted 2/19/2014 5:11 PM (GMT 0)
Kate,

Just think, in about 24 hours time, (give or take, depending on when your appointment is), you'll have the answers, and all this pre-test-answer-not-knowing-anxiety stuff can be put to rest!

It's count-down to having answers! And with those answers comes a peace of mind....

Hang tight.


M.
Posted 2/19/2014 5:12 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, Eli. I hope everything goes well tomorrow. I really appreciate your kind words. Anxiety is such an ugly beast. I keep trying to distract myself but then it just roars back on up. I had been doing ok with keeping myself under control by telling myself it wasn't time to think about my worries, but now as my appointment gets closer I having so much more anxiety and panic which I think makes my physical symptoms worse--or is it something horrible that is wrong with me that is making the symptoms worse??? Really trying to hold it together. I haven't had a panic attack in a long time, but I feel like I am having a really long one now. You will be in my thoughts tomorrow during your EMG. I'm looking forward to the weekend when I hope we will both have some answers.
Posted 2/19/2014 5:15 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, Merrida. I am just so tired of feeling bad and having all these symptoms. I feel like I am in a terrible cycle here and it's making me crazy. I am counting down the hours and really hoping for answers and not more tests/unknowns as that is really scary for me. You are right that answers = peace of mind.
Posted 2/19/2014 5:20 PM (GMT 0)
Yes the weekend! So we can celebrate the all clear from both our Drs:-)
BTW, the symptoms you are feeling? That's your anxiety showing it's ugly head. Trust me, the minute your Dr. Gives you the good news (and I know he will) 99% of your symptoms will up and leave.
Keep on writing and venting, we are here to you :-)
Posted 2/19/2014 6:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kate9183. I have bad anxiety to. I shake and tremble inside my body and in my chest. My hands hurt and tingle. My thighs to my feet burn and tingle so does my toungue. I feel like there is some thing stuck in my throat,I have a hard time swallowing. My chest hurts sometimes. My stomach hurts and burns to. I get the chills and then get hot flashes. I do not have a appetite at all. I can't relax. I am taking prozac and ativan and seroquel. I all ways feel sick. i ALL WAYS FELL VERY TIRED. What are your symptoms you said you had many ? Misty.
Posted 2/19/2014 8:38 PM (GMT 0)
Misty, at this point I feel like I have every possible symptom. No appetite for going on a month (it was reduced before that), night sweats, body aches and pains especially my lower back, elbow and neck, nausea, dizziness, lower abdominal pain, fatigue, insomnia, headaches, depression symptoms (crying, feeling hopeless, apathy), and more.

I'm sorry you are having lots of anxiety symptoms. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I hope your symptoms are under control soon. How long have you been taking your medications? Do you feel like any of them help?
Posted 2/19/2014 8:47 PM (GMT 0)
Kate,
What time is your appointment tomorrow?
Posted 2/19/2014 9:20 PM (GMT 0)
1:30, how about your EMG?
Posted 2/19/2014 9:28 PM (GMT 0)
9 AM. Montreal time
Posted 2/19/2014 9:48 PM (GMT 0)
Kate and WFB...good luck on your appointments tomorrow. We are here for you and hope you let us know how you're doing. It is SO TRUE that anxiety is a big, ugly, unwelcomed disruption to our lives and we wouldn't wish it on our worst enemy! I've been uptight and anxious since I was a kid. The only difference between then and now was I didn't know then what it was and wasn't old enough to react with fear. Not til I was in my late teens and early 20s did it really grab my attention and send me to my doctor. I was diagnosed with PVCs and anxiety and a few years ago, with GERD. We can only take a day at a time and lean on each other for support. Thanks to all for understanding and listening.
Posted 2/20/2014 5:56 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for your support MSP.you are sooo sweet.
Kate are you OK? Are you at the Dr's office now? I'm praying for you sweetie. Please let us know how it went and if you need to talk.
Hugs
Eli
Posted 2/20/2014 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
Appt went... Ok?? Bloodwork was mostly normal with a few things just slightly out of range or close to the edges, but overall nothing to suggest anything in particular going on. My doctor wants me to take zoloft again but I am so ambivalent. I was on it for most of my 20s and getting off was a long process of tapering, waiting, and tapering again. As anxious and depressed as I feel now (not to say anything of all the physical symptoms I currently having) I can't shake the desire to try to figure out who I am without meds. I certainly want these physical symptoms to go away, and I see no reason for people not to use medication to help their anxiety (I did for 10 years!) but I was so numb on them that I just feel like now that I am off I owe it to myself to give it a little longer to see if I can retrain my brain with therapy and hard work.

Meanwhile, I suppose the numbers don't lie and I am not going to die of some sort of mysterious illness in the near future, though I am a little distraught by my doctor's nonreaction to my thyroid number being so close to the edge of normal given my symptoms and long family history with the disease.

I may start a thread on withdrawl from SSRIs after long term usage to see if there are similarities with others' experiences. If anyone who reads this has any anecdotes, I'd love to hear them.

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts leading up to today. I have been a mess and I can't say how much the support has meant. This isn't something I've been freely discussing with many people in "real" life and having this board has been tremendous.

Eli,
How was your EMG? I thought about you this morning and am hopeful it went well. One more sleep until your neuro appt and some answers. I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted 2/20/2014 7:46 PM (GMT 0)
Kate, I have thyroid, don't take his reaction as nothing, make
him tell you something, so many male doctors have little or no
idea how much hormones effect a womans mental health, and
thyroid is one of the essential properties that regulate female
hormones. "All of you Ladies are going to be fine". Peace

Larry ***
Posted 2/21/2014 11:22 AM (GMT 0)
Kate,
I do understand your desire to avoid ADs, but only speaking for myself, I remember my life directly before them and frankly, I was at the point that if that was "living", I'd much rather not! It's true that I wish I could go back to how I was before my brain chemicals made life unbearable, but that isn't going to happen. I accepted that long ago. I was on zoloft for 12 years, Paxil for 8 yrs, and have just began effexor. I've never had to worry about withdrawals b/c I was piggybacked from one to the other.
Perhaps zoloft really wasn't the best for you when you were on it. It sounds like you may have a general MD handling your case. If at all possible, I truly feel that a psychiatrist is best for these types of matters. If you could see one, you could express your concerns and see what all options might be available to you. And whatever his/her recommendation(s), you are still the one with the final say as to what you will or won't try!
Who knows, a psychiatrist may be able to help you w/o prescribing an AD. You have nothing to lose by checking with one. I hate to know that you may be suffering for nothing! :(
anyway, you know how/what you feel. I can only speak for myself though, when I say that I was so very miserable before the ADs, that I'm willing to take them for life! I'm okay with that. I see it as if I were a diabetic needing insulin.
You take care of yourself and know that I wish you the very best no matter what you decide is best for YOU! :)
jl
Posted 2/21/2014 2:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kate. I am on prozac ativan and seroquel. I am seeing a psychritrist every 2 weeks. I got this way because I had colon cancer. I had a tumor taken out and three lyph nodes. I only had three treatments of chemo. I stopped because of these symptoms. It took 2 months i guess for the symptoms to occur. I have been going through hell since then. Misty
Posted 2/21/2014 2:34 PM (GMT 0)
Misty, did you have the symptoms before the colon cancer was diagnosed or as a result of the cancer dx? I hope you are doing well today!
--kate
Posted 2/21/2014 4:35 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your story and thoughts Janet. I really am not opposed to going back on to something and I agree that I wish I could go back to a time when my brain chemistry wasn't so out of whack, but even before I started zoloft, I am certain that my brain wasn't doing what it was supposed to in some respects.

I agree that zoloft probably wasn't/isn't the best choice for me. One of the primary issues I had before going on it was frequent panic attacks/derealization and while they decreased while on zoloft, they never went away. I suspect the decrease was due to more of a placebo effect than anything else.

That said, I do think that my brain needs to "recover" from the SSRI so to speak. I have been on it for 10 years and while it may not have been eliminating the unpleasant symptoms of anxiety and panic, it must have been doing something in there.

I think that in order to find the right AD/anti-anxiety meds for me, I need to let things settle down first. I'm seeing a therapist (LCSW) for some talk time, but you are correct that the medication piece is being handled by my regular doctor. I think you are right that I need to see a psychiatrist to handle the meds, but I am already seeing some other specialists right now for the physical symptoms and my regular MD thinks this is all in my head and the zoloft will fix it, so I need to give it some time before I ask for that referral. I have a follow up with regular MD in about a month and I will ask about further thyroid testing as well as a referral to a psychiatrist at that time.

I hope that the Effexor is a good fit for you and I thank you for your kind words. If you don't mind me asking, what made you decide to switch from z to Paxil and then to Effexor? Just trying to learn more about the different options out there...

--kate
Posted 2/21/2014 6:45 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Kate!
I wish you much success as you try to find the best options for you! :)
I went from one AD to the other b/c over time, ADs can stop working. I had an excellent run with both z & p. Now it's time to move on to effexor. Whenever my AD would start "pooping out" my anxiety would come back with a vengeance, along with the depression! On both Z & P, I had to take the max. doses. Perhaps with E I will not have to do that anytime soon!
I definitely believe that my brain chemistry has been messed up for so many years. I'm not thrilled that I have to be on an AD for all my life, but the alternative is much worse in my case...
Take care and I wish you the best!
jl
Posted 2/22/2014 2:27 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kate,
I’m sooo glad nothing scary is going on with you sweetie.
Sooo happy to hear that.
It’s uncanny how similar our stories are. I was on Effexor for 10 years. Truth is, it saved my life.
I was better (and 40 pounds, um, curvier) when I stopped the pills. Stopping them was physically hard. I was dizzy, nauseous and just plain sick for a couple of months.
I understand your reluctance to go back on antidepressants. I sure did not want go down that road again. However Hypochondria being what it is (the craptiest condition ever), I gave it another shot a couple of months ago. Dr prescribed Citalopram. I don’t think it had any positive effect for me. However I started noticing that I was losing my hair big time. After some research, I found out that hair loss was a possible side effect, so I quit cold turkey (I know, I know, bad Eli!), and strangely enough it went smoothly with 0 withdrawal symptoms!!!
So now I’m sticking to therapy, Healing Well supper Support team and prayer.
Bottom line, there are no two people alike. No right or wrong answer when it comes to medication or therapy. I strongly believe its trial and error. You should do what feel good to you. Trust your gut (our gut never steers us wrong).
I wish you a better tomorrow sweetie. I wish you peace and laughter. I wish all your worries will disappear.
Big Hugs and prayers coming your way.
Eli
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply