how do I prevent panic from ruining my relationship?

Many of us relate. And those of us with anxiety understand that our relationships feel the effect as well. The more open you are and the more you communicate (which is different than complain), the more you increase the chances of a smoother ride.

No medication should be increased on your own, so speak with your doctor about the possibility. It's certainly a reasonable thing to discuss. Who knows, they may have other ideas as well.

As far as the Ativan and not wanting to "overuse it?" Well then,....don't. Don't overuse it. That's not the same thing as "using it as prescribed."

Many of us here have been on medication and that has helped level out the ups and downs of the chemicals in our brains that are contributing to this. The next important step is what you decide to do with that gift.

You have a strong opinion of not wanting to be on meds, and one consideration to discuss with your doctors is that maybe, just for now, the meds are something that will help you, and (here's the key),...while on the meds, you practice self-help and coping techniques, get yourself into therapy (and don't be discouraged if the first one you try doesn't work,...sometimes we need to take a few for a test drive before finding the right fit,...just like our meds). Consider CBT as a way to manage your anxiety,...

This works because you're given,...well, I call it a gift,...because for me, that's exactly what it was! With my meds,...this gift of being able to find enough stability and mindfulness that I could learn different ways to cope with anxiety and panic, delve into the power of breathing (which you know is a powerful tool,...a tool that actors and singers utilize and train for,....how to properly breathe!) Even in the military they're teaching you how to breathe (you just don't know that's what they're doing!)

This doesn't have to be a forever journey. Please don't let that fear dissuade you from at least trying. If you at least try it means you're not just "doing nothing". That's what I meant about "complaining." If you're trying new things to heal your mind, spirit and body, then you're communicating and growing. If you sit stagnant and do nothing and make no changes, then you're complaining about the cruelties of life happening to you....while you take no active role to change that.

Make sense? Yes. Got it? Good! Now get on out there and do something healthful for your whole self! :)



M.

Can totally relate..
Anxiety is ruining my marriage.
I got married to my husband when I was 19.
It was shotgun but we were so in love. And everything felt so perfectly in place. I feel so blessed and happy.
Life was really great until I fell sick 2 months after giving birth to our son.
On April 2013, I was diagnosed with post natal depression and a little bit of anxiety. I was on antidepressant but because of the fear of panic attack, I avoided going out so I had very little date out with my husband. And due to the side effect of the anti depressant, we had very little intimate time too (hope you all get what I meant, don't want to sound too sexual here)
Slowly, my husband and I have more quarrels... And I can feel that he doesn't love me like how he did anymore.
After taking anti depressant for 7 months, i told my doctor I wanted to get off the medications. So on dec 2013 I finally got off it.

Jan 2013, panic attack hit me once again but this time it was constant.
Constant panic attack. I get them even when I am home, even when I am lying down. about 4-5 panic attack a day.. I couldn't get up from my bed. Lost my appetite, lost my sleep.. Literally lost everything. I cant even sit up to play with my son. The fear took over me.

I am down once again..
My family and husband have been putting a lot of stress on me etc like wanting me to go out and have a walk..
I know they meant well but the fear i have is too strong. ):
Feeling really helpless ):

Post Edited (Shanelyeo) : 3/1/2014 8:14:00 PM (GMT-7)

Shane what were you on and how much? Did you ever seek therapy?

Merida
Thank you or your words of encouragement. That's the plan, I took Zoloft and it eloped a year so but the weird thing is when I tried it this last time it made me really depressed and anxious idk why it how. Being a test pilot for meds though feels very discouraging to me. I know it'll help but you go through do much to find something.

Star,

You are you. You are not your anxiety. Anyone who sees this will understand and stick with you, even if they might get frustrated. It doesn't mean that you are not ready for a relationship; it is very hard for someone who has never had a problem with anxiety to understand where we are coming from.

Anxiety and doubt are partners in crime. The doubt is a thought, it isn't a reality. Thoughts are perceptions of reality, and they don't represent what life really is like, or how someone really thinks about you.  Keep  the communication with your boyfriend open and ongoing. Any good relationship has constant communication, and it sounds like you're wise and understanding even with the temporary problems you might be facing.

Thing is, we all have fears and irrational worry from time to time. The  guy like the one you're dating has these thoughts too. The only difference is that we as anxiety disorder sufferers experience them a lot more than others. It doesn't make us intolerable, weird, or unworthy.

Take the first step and don't think of anxiety as part of your future plans. Eradicate it from your thoughts of the future.

An idea that may help you - take out a cue card and pen - write a negative thought down exactly how it appears in your mind. Then force yourself to come up with reasons why the thought is wrong, misinformed, or founded in assuming stuff. For example, your thought that your boyfriend thinks the anxiety has changed you:
- you have given him no reason to feel this way
- your relationship with him continues to be successful
- he is obviously happy the majority of the time - nobody is happy 100% of the time but that doesn't make it your fault.

If you stick with this, and do this for the  doubts that come up, you'll reach a point where the doubts will stop and you would have retrained your mind.

Trust your heart and try to take things patiently.

Kindly,

Kitt

I can't give much advice but I can relate after my worst attack in january n since then I've bin sooo paranoid about it happening again. I'm jus like you, fearful of going out doing anything because it does happen anytime, I can just be reading a book it happens to me daily. I talk to my husband about it. He's has a therapist n all they talk about is me. He reaallly wants me to stop having them.and I hope I dont become a burden to him. I feel like he will soon feel as if he has to take care of me when he gets home. I'm doing my best to deal with them and not complain. You guys say it is possible to get rid of them right?

Best advice I've gotten is to not be scared of having one and to embrace it when it comes let it know that you are in control