did anyone else have to give up coffee because of stupid anxiety??? ):

Good Morning everyone (well its morning here in Pittsburgh! (-; )

I'm sitting here watching the Today show and really missing my coffee. I used to enjoy my cold coffee every morning and watch the Today show then clean, and do whatever else I need to do. Now it's like I'm so exhausted all the time and I feel (other than being pregnant) that it is because for the past year I haven't been able to drink cold coffee because of stupid anxiety. I really miss it. Yesterday on the way home from school I started feeling all shaky for no reason at all and I started crying because I am SO fed up with anxiety. I'm asking God "why me?!?!?" and "why did I have to be put here on Earth to suffer everyday?" and asking to just please heal me .. just take it away so I can live my normal life again! it just makes me SOOO angry that this is NOT getting any better. This is years after years of anxiety now, and worrying about doing certain things because wondering if it's going to make it worse. I am just not happy anymore and I am really starting to get depressed again as I once was before. I just really want to be able to live my normal life again , as I have for years when the anxiety was not as bad as it was before then, then it got bad again 4 years ago and ever since then it's been hell. I could drink the coffee, tea, pop, every once in a while if I took my Xanax, but it's going on almost 2 months since I took it because I don't want to rely on meds anymore. Now I've just come to realize my body just can't relax without meds, I haven't really had any big attacks recently *knock on wood*!, but anxious anxious anxious, shaking, heart feeling like it's racing, jittery inside , heart palps, ALL the time!! To the point that it is very bothersome. Even when I am not anxious, I feel that I am anxious. It's horrible, and I am just over it. It makes me sad that I have to live like this probably for the rest of my life now unless I take meds for it. Its like everyday you wait wait wait and see if it will get better.. you HOPE that it'll get better. Maybe you wish one day you would wake up and you would be ANXIETY FREE!, atleast I do... every single day!! It feels like I'm living through life to be tortured everyday. I'm so totally over it!!!! I just hate the fact that I don't go out and drink alcohol, smoke, do anything that a lot of others do, I just used to look forward to drinking my coffee, it was my addiction! It gave me energy and made me happy! Now that I had to give that up, means that anxiety is controlling me and THAT'S what I think makes me the most upset about the whole coffee thing. Sitting here wondering if I will EVER lead a normal life..ever again??? ugh )':

Well , I Hope everyone has a good weekend!!

Lacey

Actually don't give it up, giving it up means anxiety has now controlled some aspect of your life. At my worst I quit it then decided oh hell I'm not giving up my life because of anxiety and had coffee again even if it made me feel wired or extra panicky. I drink it now again with ease. Don't give in anything to anxiety (except alcohol cigs or drugs of course!)

Thanks for your responses. I've been seeing therapists/psychologists/etc for years and it has not helped me what so ever, because it is the physical symptoms that have severely taken over which makes me incomfortable. My baby dr. suggested that I go yet to another one at a different place, so I don't feel the need to take my meds. These people deal with actual impatient "psychiatric" people.. so maybe they would know a little more than the others I have seen in the past,I don't know something has got to give! Maybe I will call them on Monday and give it another shot. As far as the coffee thing that you said Joshua88, my dad did the same thing. He had anxiety for a while, as did my mother, but my father stopped all caffeine and then said he wasn't going to give it up for anxiety because he enjoyed his coffee, and has bee drinking it ever since. He says when he gets shaky or jittery from it he doesn't let the anxiety take over he just says whatever,I wish I was strong enough to do that! It just bothers me that bad that I cant ignore it and I get so scared, which causes heart palpitations and everything. Its so miserable): I may start by having a little cup of cold coffee when I want and go from there. The fact that I am letting anxiety rule my life is just ridiculous, I cant stand it anymore! So your advice will be taken(: thank you

Lacey