Scared/HealthAnxiety/SickOfEverything

I have been super anxious lately, my anxiety has sky rocketed and I just can't handle it. I joined in 2011, and back then it was all about panic attacks for me and just worrying about my heart. Now it's constantly about anything that comes to mind, and completely just going to the worst case scenario. My parents think I am over exaggerating and do not take me seriously. I know it's probably annoying for them to hear a 20 year old consistently saying I have cancer or this or that. It just all around sucks.

I really am convinced I have colon cancer. I have the "runs" everyday, every symptom and I'm just so triggered when I hear the word. It is awful working in a public business because all everyone talked about is how their family member died from this or they have this, or their friend is dying from this, it's really frustrating.

I don't know what to do, I don't wanna get checked because it's the fear of the unknown, and it's super embarrassing but then my mind is telling me you are dying and if they catch it early you will survive so I always feel on edge and I hate it.

Thank you for always listening and showing so much support, this forum still continues to be my comfort place

Hello Flashinglights - you sound so much like me at the age of 20 (I am now 66). Anxiety started for me even before age 20 and I've had it on and off all these years (with many years with none all so don't despair). I too have diarrhea whenever the anxiety hits and I can assure you that's very normal. My problem is two-fold - not only do I have horrible health anxiety that's been there since I was very little but I also have a horrible phobia about doctors, tests, hospitals, etc (It all comes from an experience in early childhood but it doesn't seem to help just knowing what's causing it). So I suffer with every little ache, pain, weird feeling, etc. but am too scared to go to the doctor because firstly I feel like I'll pass out or have a stroke from fear at the docs office and secondly because I'm sure he will find that I'm dying of something. Ironically, I have actually been very healthy all my life but now that I'm older, have smoked for years and not taken care of my health, I am sure this time around that I am dying. I have even had a problem with my eye for over two years (probably just a cataract) but so far I'm even too scared to go to the eye doctor for fear he'll say its a tumor behind my eye or something! Then over a month ago I was moving furniture with my son and hurt my neck but I'm convinced it's probably lung cancer that's spread yet do you think I'll go to the doctor - no, I go into an immediate state of panic just thinking about going. I feel absolutely paralyzed at the thought of seeing a doctor and having tests that I'm SURE will result in some terminal diagnosis. Now on an intellectual level I realize how stupid this all is and also realize that alot of my anxiety is related to this health fear. I've read that most anxiety is a result of some type of unresolved conflict and I can certainly see what my unresolved conflict is in this case but yet I still do nothing about it. To make matters worse, I feel like a coward. I have friends who have suffered through terrible diagnosises and treatments for their conditions with great courage and fearlessness so that makes me even more ashamed of myself. And all this anxiety oftentimes leads to depression which I am certainly suffering from too, because i cry at every little thing. This too, is a result of letting my fears overtake me and the shame I feel at being this way. I sometimes think if I actually found out what, if anything, serious is going on with me that possibly my anxiety might subside and yet I still do nothing....just wait, expecting to drop dead at some point. It's a terrible self-defeating way to live and I don't want you to start out your life doing the same thing. You are 20 years old and I bet your fears are all unfounded and you're probably very healthy, just suffering from this terrible anxiety some of us go through. I notice that alot of people who DO go to doctors still believe the docs haven't found the real cause and still believe they have something wrong but I would urge you to at least TRY to go and believe whatever they tell you. I hate to think of someone else doing what I did and end up spending their lives foolishly worrying about diseases that I'm sure aren't there. As you can see, I've spent SO many wasted years worrying about things that never existed - heart, cancer, diabetes, tumors, you name it...that I don't wish the same on you. I am going to have to go to the eye doctor soon, unless I want to become blind someday with something that could probably be cured quite easily but i'll probably have to take two Xanax's just to get in there and have a couple of my closest girlfriends come with me for support. I'm wondering if I actually get the courage to do this if my anxiety might subside somewhat. I hide most of my anxious feelings from friends and relatives because I'm so ashamed of it and most of them think I'm perfectly fine...as a matter of fact they all love my sense of humor and would never believe I suffer in silence most of the time. So take advice from an old lady who's made the wrong decisions and have probably brought on my anxiety from those poor decisions. I'm quite SURE you are fine physically just convinced like so many of us that we have some dreaded disease. Oftentimes people who haven't suffered from anxiety, like your parents might be, don't understand what we go through so it makes things doubly hard on us when we're young. We want so much for them to understand but it's really impossible for them. Seek out a therapist or this site for the people who DO understand. You are not alone, we are here to help, and we too get help hearing from others that they suffer the same things that we do. Good luck to you. Keep saying "I am okay" because I'm sure you are.

I feel so "at home" here like everybody's sharing a similar life story :)

I totally understand where you're coming from! I have a chronic illness, and often I assume every little twinge is either that condition worsening, or the fact that I'm already ill is making me more susceptible to other stuff. Of course, there's a chance our fears are accurate, but that chance is quite slim, and the only way to know for sure is to visit a doctor. Maybe you can bring yourself to do that? Is there someone who can go along with you for support?

In the meantime, try and keep hydrated and watch that you keep up your electrolytes. Foods, sport drinks (some are high in sugar, so not so great!) and water can help. Diarrhea is not something we enjoy dealing with/discussing, but if you don't replenish your body, you can indeed find yourself in a yucky situation.

Breathing/meditation exercises might be able to help lower your stress, and eating a mellow diet including bananas, applesauce, rice, and simple toast can help slow your digestive system while you are in the process of calming it down. Best wishes!

Hi Merrida, having said that do you get every signs and symptoms checked out then?

Dear FL it's been a while, I cant add anything to these people's
posts except this, I bet that if you go to the doctor and tell him
about your fear, he will tell you to come back in twenty years,
you need to trust some one kid, and everyone here trys their
best to help every time. Peace

Larry ***