My Anxiety story/ I strongly suggest reading if you suffer from health anxiety

Hello all,

My journey with anxiety started last year in July. I was so distraught and my life was a mess. I went to a doctor who in my opinion just wanted my money. I was classified as having generalized anxiety disorder and was given medications ranging from xanax, to lexapro to buspar to celexa to venlafaxine and now I am on vyvnase 60mg and clonazapeam as needed.

My life was a mess. Every symptom was a terrible disease. I beg you not to look on Google for symptoms. I hope you take my advice. From someone who has suffered from a full hellish year of thinking I had HIV.

So now into my story, I really have always had a fascination with HIV , how it works and everything. Not to get too off topic but I had a low risk possible exposure last September. I truly had convinced my mind that I had HIV . I was having symptons and after exposure had cold sore outbreak as well as being sick for a month after as well as lymph nodes swelling ( that have now been swollen for a year). All last year I would have crying fits begging God and whoever else was listening for it not to HIV and for it just to be a one time thing. This cycle went on for almost a year. Everytime I had a sympton of anytihng ranging from swollen nodes to a yellow tongue to a cold sore was a sympton I was slowly moving into the process of develping full blown aids. All becuase I was looking at google and everything google points too is a terrible disease. After today, I am done with the self diagnosis processess I went through.

I lost it when I reached down in my groin area and I felt very tiny nodes in my thigh. I thought for sure this was a sign of the virus progressing. I didn't know what to do. I immiedetaley told myself it was time to face my fate . I called the a doctor I had researched and scheduled a appointment for that next day. So the next day rolls around and I am freaking out. I freak out to the point that I go to Walgreens and drop 40 on a oral-quick HIV rapid test kit. So I took the test before the doctor's office and it turned out non reactive. The test showed I was negative for HIV. This still didn't ease me. I went to the doctor's office and told him about my lymph nodes and he ordered a ultra sound, catscan as well as a array of blood tests including HIV.

I just got off the phone with him 20 mins ago. I am going to be okay. My blood test results were perfect. I was negative for HIV. The nodes I had been feeling in my neck were glands and nodes and the radiologist didn't think that they were anything to be concerned about. In a way it all relates back to my tonsils . I had truly thought I had HIV. I convinced myself with guilt and anxiety that I was going to die.

I am a young healthy college kid with a bright future. I will not continue to take lexapro and only take vyvnase and clonzapean as needed. These blood tests saved me from another day of anxiety. I have been saved. I thank God and everyone for all the support through this.

Please go to a doctor, don't put yourself through hell until you decide to go get tested. Regardless of what it could be. Thank you all again for your support.

If anyone has any questions about my situation or anything I can do to help please let me know

With high hopes and a heavy heart
-SMU25

Hi SMU,

Yes, thanks for sharing...and we celebrate your good news with you about your health status!!

I wish you all good things for the future...and check in with us when you can, you can be an encouragement to others going through similar circumstances.

Take care,

S.C.

I agree with you, Lesweet, I wish it did too!
SMU, THANK YOU for your honesty and upfrontness in telling your story...
I think most people can relate, even though the 'disease' may be a different one.
Best wishes to you always.

Thank you so much for all your kind words ! This forum has been a lifesaver for me over the past year .

Thank y'all so much

I went through similar in college when I had a VERY low risk experience, but was convinced I'd gotten HIV. (I was a practical virgin, I never messed around nor was promiscuous at all).

I suffered for 6 months (the length of time you had to wait to take a test). No drugs to ease my anxiety at all.

I turned out negative, luckily, so glad you did too. But at least I faced my fears. That was so hard!!! And so did you, so congratulate yourself.

Also glad things have changed and you do not have to wait to test and can take self tests!!