Fear of going crazy. Supposedly just anxiety. Help

Hello. My name is Nick, I'm 19 and up until just over a month ago I was living a normal and happy life.

It all started when I was pressured into doing a drug  with some buddies that really freaked me out. The "trip" wasn't all that bad other than I had some really deep, depressing thoughts that are lingering to this day. After that night I had a couple normal weeks again until I went to a movie with a few friends(Spider-Man). After the movie I began having these thoughts about life again. The next day I ended up having an anxiety attack and called my parents to come get me from college. I delt with a couple finals and made my way through a couple weeks of work with extreme so called "anxiety symptoms". The scariest and most common ones I'm having are 1.fear of going crazy 2.unreal feelings (dreamlike) 3. Overwhelmed by the world and everything in it(questioning how my measly life is important) 4. Vivid dreams 5. Scary random thoughts 6. Rapid heart beat. 7. No desire to do anything as if it's all pointless in the long run. Along with a few others that don't seem to alarm me so much.
I do have history of being obsessive over my health and social anxiety.
I'm constantly reminded that I haven't had any symptoms of disorders such as schizophrenia but find it extremely hard to believe at times.
I've seeked help and seem to have a few decent hours on some days but nothing seems to fix this. I've been told to devalue the symptoms which I've tried but makes me feel like I'm trying to ignore my craziness. I'm currently on a lose dose of risperdal which seems to have no affect. I've also downloaded and read A Life At Last by Paul David which is good for my completely low points.
The best way I find to calm me down is by talking about it and praying. It seems like a miracle that I've lasted this long and the only reasons I have is for my family and faith. I understand there is no quick fix to this "anxiety" but if anyone who has gone through this or knows ways to help would comment Id appreciate all help. This seems endless. Also sorry for any grammar errors since I'm writing this from my phone

<Edit> for inappropriate topic per Rule: No discussion of any illegal activity.

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 6/11/2014 11:49:52 AM (GMT-6)

Nick, I am sorry that you are having trouble with anxiety and its symptoms right now...it is dreadful to feel these things and fear the worst! Good for you for finding a book that works. If you need more self-help ideas, we have an exceptional resource guide at the top of this page. It is chock full of information that you may find helpful. If things continue to be a great effort ...you may want to consider treatment such as therapy.   Many members here have found therapy to be beneficial Feel free to post with us anytime. Talking with others who know where you are   coming from and what you are   going through is very helpful. What relieves stress is not the same for everyone. Making certain lifestyle changes is the best start. Start with eating a well-balanced, healthy diet as well as getting enough sleep and exercise, Also, limit caffeine and alcohol intake and don't use nicotine. Finding healthy, fun ways to cope with stress helps most people. You can learn and practice ways to help you relax. Find out about yoga, tai chi, or meditation. Take breaks from work. Make sure to balance fun activities with your job and family duties. Schedule some leisure time every day. Spend time with people you enjoy, including your family. Try learning to make things with your hands, playing an instrument, or listening to music. Think about what might be giving you stress. Keep a diary of what is going on when you have these feelings. Some of us make people laugh, some are good at math, others cook fantastic meals. Some of us share our lifestyle with the people who live close to us, others live very differently. We’re all different. But we are all the same, having people in our lives to share the good times and the not so good times with is an important part of healing. Stick with us as we support you and talk to us because we understand anxiety and we care about you. Kindly, Kitt  

Hey I have OCD and GAD. My ocd is mostly obsessional and i have thoughts like yours, I doubt things and I worry about my thoughts. I can't even make a list or all the weird thoughts that i sometimes get , i would never end! It is anxiety and believe me there is many people that have worries like yours. I think the most important thing you need to know is to not seek reassurance , don't try to make sure your worries are not real because it only makes it worse. For example , one day I was scared of experiencing psychosis so searched online to make sure i did not have anything. . . Well that just made everything worse, I had a panic attack and thought i needed to be hospitalized ! No matter what it is do not seek reassurance ! It is very hard .I try to not ask people here about anything about what i am currently obsessing because i only get more anxious, but don't worry you are not alone!

It helped me to read a book about OCD, to teach myself how to recognize anxious intrusive thoughts from real ones and stop my compulsions like checking , asking or thinking about it obsessively trying to find a solution. Unfortunately I can't afford therapy right now but I recommend it,I went to a OCD therapist and I felt better for a long time but unfortunately i could not continue. I have heard of many people that almost get cured it by it. You do need to find someone that knows enough about OCD. As far as medicine goes I am still trying to find one that helps me :/. My advice is find a doctor that knows what OCD is, because some people even get diagnosed with other things because OCD is tricky. People always think OCD is about cleaning, arranging or counting , it can be but OCD can be really about anything. OCD is based not being able to take uncertainty , it is like an alarm that is always on making you worry about something, and no matter how much you try to make sure there is nothing to worry about you still worry.Thoughts like , what if ? What if i am really crazy? what if i don't know what crazy is ?
Go to the www.ocfoundation.org there is a therapist finder tool and also many articles.
I hope it helps and don't worry you are not alone ! I am going through a very hard time my OCD is out of control but I just refuse to let it ruin my life , believe me i know the hell this thing is :S

Nick,

So sorry to hear  you're going through this. I totally understand. At my worst, I have a huge fear that I will lose my mind, have unreal feelings etc. That's when my anxiety is at it's peak and usually I'm having a panic attack. I recently relapsed pretty badly and had to go back on Zoloft which I had been off of for 2 years. I feel so much better. It's really helped. It's pretty common but I know how horrible it feels and I'm so sorry you're gong through it. Did you say you were on something for it?

Cballer

The older I get, I think my perspective has increased. I've come to understand that soooooo many of us go through periods of philosophical debating and questioning the Meaning of Life. You're certainly not alone, that's why there are so many philosophy programs/majors/departments/studies/books!

I'm one of those deep thinker types too, needing to find some validity and meaning in every measure.

Eventually we learn that the universe, in its own unique way, does actually revolve around us, individually,....in so much that our life, our world, our experiences are only relative and relevant to that which we choose to perceive.

I'm a huge fan of Hamlet, and there's a line where he comments that nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. What he's referring to is our perception,...what we know, what we wish to know, what we're ignorant of,....(love that line!)

A good book to read is the Unquiet Mind if you're looking for both a first person account as well as scientific perspective on the philosophy of behaviour in combination with psychiatric disorders. I found it rather enlightening,....especially for the "deep thinking" part!








M.

Also, Nick, (and I've suggested this before to people) - try to laugh at yourself and all those thoughts that bother you. if you were truly crazy, those thoughts wouldn't bother you at all because you wouldn't recognize them as crazy thoughts. Laughter IS truly the best medicine I believe - I don't think I would have made it through some of my times of severe anxiety without it. Associate yourself with happy people, don't tie yourself to people full of negativity. When I'm down and out, I try to spend time with my best girlfriends I've known since high school and by the time our evening is over, I feel like a whole new person because we spend most of our time together laughing. The world can be a scary place these days with all the negative things we see on the news, etc. Do something positive with your life that make you feel you are making the world better, even in a small way. My son joined Americorps and is volunteering for a year since he graduated college and he loves it, is seeing the country for free, is making a difference in peoples' lives and seems mentally healthier than he's ever been.

Also cballer, I'm currently on a low dose of risperdal which scared me initially due to its primary uses. I'm really hoping to get off of it ASAP and get over this naturally!