New to forum - Battling long term anxiety/panic disorder

Hi all - after months of finding comfort on this site in bad times, I've decided to take an active role. It helps to know we are not alone in our struggles. I just wanted to introduce myself.

I'm in my early 30s with two young children and a loving, supportive family. I was anxious as a child, but my panic began after I vomited in front my middle school class. I left class at the same time every day and avoided breakfast and large crowds. Since then, I've battled 5 extreme cases of anxiety/panic, one very recently. I can't pinpoint the cause, but they generally come on after a big life change. The physical symptoms are terrible, I've had them all, but my main ones are constant nervous stomach (making it hard to eat) and feeling like I'm going crazy. I'm working with a therapist on coping skills and had a good month, but yesterday it all came flooding back. I feel defeated and disappointed that I couldn't keep it at bay. Soo afraid that this will last weeks like last time. I'm scared to be alone with my negative thought cycle that doesn't end. Please keep my progress in your thoughts, this setback has me terrified.

Middle school was a long time ago. I'm 33. In my mind, a girl I was mean to in middle school has put a curse on me. That's another story for another day.

I am no expert at handling my emotions, etc., but unfortunately, both our situations are likely marathons and not sprints. It's going to take some time to change. Being discouraged won't help, but it's tough to keep your head up.

Great advice from "Panda". I will be 63 next month and like her have had great times just to have hard times descend again. I know that you get disappointed...I do too. I have to convince myself that I'm not a failure and that there are lessons to be learned - only God knows what they are! Strange what life can hand us - and stranger still what we are capable of handling. Things will get better again - have faith in yourself and your ability. Peace (what a lovely word).

Its so good to realize there are so many other people out there struggling with anxiety and OCD and depression - Ive got all three and its been a terrifying trip. Being gripped by constant obsessive negative thoughts and worrying that I am going crazy has been horrible. I wake up at 3 in the morning and cant seem to stop the constant rumination and worry. I am taking SSRI's and trying lots of supplements but I feel really trapped in fears I cant control. Its really stuffing up my life and I am scared. Thank you all for being honest and sharing your troubles that is a big help.

I know how you feel.

I was lucky enough to know it was coming, and got out of the room to the bathroom in time. My class were presenting their first speech of the semester, and I just ran out during this one girl's presentation. A few of the nursing majors followed me, cleaned me up, and I came back and apologized. We finished the class and I went home.

But middle school is different.

Small steps forward, larger ones back are to be expected. It's not about the set-back, it's about what you do after the set-back. Get back up, dust off, and take a deep breath, and persevere.