ugly , ugly , !!!!!!!!!!please help me , i really need to talk .....

hi everyone , i just need to vent ...... yes its me again !!!!!!!!

as most of you know my struggle , today was not good ...... i felt horrible , but i fought through my work day , i deal with numbers ans money all day so i have to be on point and focus .....

i really dont get this anxiety crap , my psych doc says its anxiety/depression somatization disorder , after a long road of 2 yrs , im still fighting , cant go to er anymore i done been to every one within a 20 miles over a 1000x ....and not to mention all my doc and specialist , ok so nothing is wrong health wise , so tell that to my dum body/brain ........

most of all my son has been healed from cancer and doing very very very well ..... im back at work able to leave the house , but i still struggle ........

after trying diff meds , with lots of error , on june 20th i was on zoloft from then until july 21st , i felt very funny and had chest tightness , and headches , well i had the headches before the zoloft on and off ,
and even while taking it , i will say i took it every night at 11:30 pm i took it so late cause it made me sleepy and i had to be up so that i could give my son his chemo meds and stuff , but it did help me sleep , and when i came home from work i had so much energy , but i still felt different , so i stopped then , and the next 3 days after i stopped then i felt great not 100% but i felt really ok ...... now since then i still have headache , and aches and its like in going back to where i was laying down all day , no energy , chest pains , tingling and numbness , etc , could that be the zoloft going out my system , should i have stayed on the zoloft a bit longer and took the pain ..... i see my psych doc on wednesday , my neuro doc gave me northtripline for my headaches , i have not started yet because i want to see my psych doc first , on wed ....

why wont this go away , i want my life back , i have a great therapist i found after going to many , i saw her on friday , i see her every two weeks because i pay for her out of pocket .....

today my stomach was really aching , my head feels tight , and its just all different pains all over , dizzy , off balance , bad thoughts , etc ..... why .....

i swear i was 32 turning 33 when this started and i was healthy , went to gym , ate good , had a good life , yes i had some stressors nothing i couldnt handle , but this is pure

im 35 going on 36 and from aug 2012 until now , its been horrible .....

i have pins and needles through out my body , its like my body going hay wire , this is not a life , i want to be free .... anxiety go away !!!!!!!!!! where did this even come from !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why do meds take so long to work and even then its not 100% it will

well its 2 years im still here !!!!

all i can do is press through , give god glory and keep having faith ..........

i watch my 13 yr old now 14 yr old kick cancer butt !!!!! and he was on tubes , everything !!!!

so why in the world cant this anxiety get its butt kicked!!!!!! its horrible


sending prayers everyone way .... no one understand our struggles ......

test i have had done
ekg's - 100000x always normal
hoilter moniter - 7 or 8 of them maybe more
ecg of the heart
ultra sound of the heart
stress test
cardiac cath of the heart - procedure
ct scan of heart with dye
check for blood cots - 10 test or more
cardiac enezyme - 100000x
tons of visit to cardiac doc ..... he says he done all he can do i had the last big test which was a cardiac cath and it was perfect ....

my stomach test , i have 3 egd they went down my stomach all clean ......

my head test , mri , ct scan 3 of them , eeg .....

full medical eye exam , 2 of them

tested for lupus and other things ...... aids , hiv , etc .....

been to a rhemo doc about ms

been to ent doc 3 times , check my ears , nose , throat

and im sure im leaving some out ,,

but my point is i have been to everywhere and NOTHING IS FOUND < THANK GOD .....so leave !!!!!

thanks and welcome !

thanks scary cat ...

I know how you feel. I've been convinced that I had a brain tumor. Had CT last week and it was normal. Now I'm already having other aches and pains that are scaring me. Do we make ourselves have these symptoms? It's so frustrating.

paddy , thats true !!! but how do we fix it ???? .... im so upset !!!!! i want my life back , !!!!!

i missed out of so much !!! because of this !!!!!!! ........ im really sickofitall as my screen name is !!!!!

For me I have just learned to accept it. That last time I posted I had an attack again after 2 months of doing well. I refused to let it get to me and took half a Xanax and said yep it's anxiety and hormones and I got through it. We are all different though and what works for me may not work for you. I did have my doctor check my vitamin levels also and my vitamin D was really low. I took vitamin D tablets she prescribed and that helped too. We lose vitamins as we age also. I wish I had the right answer but I don't. I just know that I stopped waiting to feel terrible and enjoy the days I feel great now.